Ben speaks (#TeamDuke)

Posted on by View from the ground

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The following are the words of Ben – my inspirational son. The words are written from the heart, with love, and are published in the hope that they will reach the target ‘audience’. I also want to publish them to show that there is light after dark, there is hope after despair, and wherever and whenever there is love, good will be the result.

I’m not entirely sure how to start these things, so I’ll start how Dad loves to, with a cheeky quote (although Im pretty sure there is nothing remotely cheeky about this quote, other than taking the pi** out of Dad”

“Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.” – Kay, Peter

Right now that’s done, onto the real reason I’m here. As many of you may, or may not know, this past year (give or take a few months), has been a hectic one, and probably the hardest of my life. It feels appropriate I write this blog on the 5 year anniversary of my incredible Grandad passing away, whom I share many treasured memories with. A wonderful man, married to a wonderful woman and Gran. Unfortunately both are watching down from the heavens now, but I live to make them proud. They made this family everything it ever is, and everything it ever will be. I love them both dearly, and miss them greatly.

The song Angels by Robbie Williams is a song I used as a strength at the time, a song me and Mum used to relate to each other. A song we listened to around the passing of Grandad, because it allowed us to release our emotions. “She offers me protection, a lot of love and affection” etc, this were lyrics I related to Mum, because she was my angel sent from heaven. Spent many of special mother and son moments together, and I was very lucky, so lucky to call her my Mum.

Unfortunately this paragraph takes a little turn for the worst. So, as many of you may know, my Mum walked out on the family over a year ago whilst I was away having the time of my life in America. She “found the light”, and ran away with Rich(ard), a man who shared a similar unrealistic dream of saving the world, and similarly left a wife and two sons behind. Me and Mum were a tight as you could be as a mother & son, inseparable, we were the same person. She was my emotional support, and my rock whenever I was feeling down. So in July 2016 when she walked away from her family, is for the first time really, where we found our roads taking different turns. I chose to stay with my Dad & Sister, and she chose to run. I’d be lying if I said even now, my heart doesn’t break a little everyday when I wake up and realise she isn’t just downstairs for a chat. The whole process felt like mourning, she was alive, but not the Mother I knew and loved it. It genuinely felt like a death, and was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt in my life. To see the affect it had on my Dad (who I’ll get onto later), and my sister was heart wrenching. I knew I had to stay strong for them, even on the days when I wanted to break down and turn into a recluse, I knew I had to stay strong for them. I also knew I’d made the right decision, because family for me is everything, family is my divine.

Fast forward a year, and things regarding Mum are possibly worse. She had deleted Facebook, and told me and my sister she’s cutting contact. We haven’t seen her for over a year, and again it has caused a great amount of emotional outpouring, and even caused me to shed a tear or two. If anyone knows me well enough, they know I don’t cry! But it allowed me to release my emotion and carry on being the strength for my family. All I truly want from her is a sign, some human emotion that she still cares. It’s upsetting reading her open letter on Facebook. All I can impress on people is that is not Mum, it’s what she has been turned into by people who now coward away, and try and hide behind what they’ve done, and instead now turn on the people they previously called their friend. It takes a lot for me to write this down, I’m a closed book and only open up for people I feel a true connection with, and trust. This has possibly been my greatest learning curve in life, and there is no doubt I have come out a stronger person.

The truth is though, we as a family now are stronger than ever for so many reasons and I am happier than I ever have been, and content with the course life is taking. I have a new job, a career driven job and everyday learning something new, and gaining a tremendous amount of experience. A girlfriend (who’d have thought it). Gaby, all though only in my life for a short amount of time, has shown a tremendous amount of courage herself and has been there for me when I was possibly at my lowest. It took me some time to realise it, but I feel I have truly met someone special and someone who I can be myself around, and makes me incredibly happy. My job, working in media for the first time in 2 years has also provided a timely boost, and the start of a new era.

I have my music, music to me is cathartic and switches me off from the world. Although bands like Architects may seem like screamy nonsense to some, to me they are more than that. There music reaches out to me like nothing else can.My sister Liv is moving onto far greater things, and has the fire in her eyes that had be extinguished so cruelly over a year ago. I am prouder of Liv than I could ever tell her. She has overcome adversity and come out fighting! Dad, my hero and my best friend. Taking on the role of Dum (Dad & Mum), even the household chores! This man has been a pillar of strength, and has held me and Liv up when all we wanted to do is fall. I could sit here and write for hours, but he knows, he’s saved us both. He’s everything I want to be, and couldn’t be prouder of everything he does. Audrey, the wee one. The support she has offered has just been off the scale, she has offered me and Liv a female figure to turn to. To her I probably give my biggest thank you. She’s taken on a load that she really didn’t have to, but she cared, she showed that she cares, and that was massive to me, Dad and Liv. She’s a great laugh and just fits in to our home perfectly.
There are too many people to thank, The Wallers, The Dukes/Ashby’s, Kathy, Cathy, Liam, Connor, James etc, the list is endless, but you know who you all are.

I struggle to put this kind of thing into words. We as a family now are at a great point in our lives. If Mum was ever to return I’d welcome her back with open arms. Despite everything that’s happened, I love her dearly, and if anything, the last year has made me appreciate the time I had her there 1000x more than I did.
We’re closer now than we ever have been. Keep an eye out for Dad’s new one, and he’ll tell you all about it.

 

Ben

Ice cream, double cream, sun cream, #CreamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Sun is shinin’ in the sky. There ain’t a cloud in sight. It’s stopped rainin’ everybody’s in a play. And don’t you know.It’s a beautiful new day, hey hey” – Jeff Lynne

Hey hey indeed and welcome to a quote free start to another View From The Ground. I like a good song and Mr. Blue Sky is one of my favourites. I can’t help but smile because it, bizarrely, makes me think of sunshine and a beautiful blue sky. And, from a spiritual and overall emotional perspective, that sums up this year – sunny.

It’s been a funny old few weeks. I’ve felt a rush of words, thus why so many blogs. I’m grateful for the feedback I receive – what ever the shape of the feedback. It’s nice to know they are having an impact.

However, one particularly response I do want to address is concern raised relating to my emotional wellbeing – I think this is due to some references made to circumstances over the last few months, and the causes of those circumstances. I feel it important to reflect a little on past circumstances to afford the reader insight into the starting point for the #TeamDuke growth.

I am grateful for any concern but, rest assured, I have never been better. I think, sometimes, people read too much into words without understanding the writer’s perspective. I try to write with a smile, and sometimes that helps me to address difficult situations with a sense of dark humour, perhaps. So, thank you. #TeamDuke is on top form and very grateful for that. I am feeling incredibly happy. How couldn’t I be. If in doubt, there’s a few blogs to have a look at.

Finally, thank you to everyone who took time to read the last post – An open letter from Liv. The comments have been beautiful and we are very grateful for the support received.

Okay, on we go with the ramblings – and still not a quote quote in sight (I guess using some words from a song is a quote, but it isn’t a quote quote). This actually brings me on to a debate I am having with Audrey about toffee. Now, the immediate thought must be ‘that relationship ain’t going to last’. I accept my track record of late hasn’t been good with relationships and it does look like Audrey and I are travelling down different roads on this subject, and once you disagree about toffee, what next, potatoes (don’t get me started on potatoes!!!!!! (there he goes again with exclamation marks)), and ‘you really talk about toffee’ (don’t get me started about what else is there to talk about. YES I READ THE NEWS!!!!!!!!! (‘exclamation marks again and he’s shouting. He’s an emotional wreck’).

Yes, we talk about toffee. We talk about music. We talk about rugby league (Leeds Leeds Leeds (‘now he’s saying the same word 3 times!!!!!!!!!! And using more exclamation marks. He needs help. Now, quickly. Hey Jon, hold up the mirror. What do you see?’ I SEE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! (‘aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhj’)). We talk about our life together and our lives past, present, and future. We talk about our families. We talk about our friends. We talk about spirituality. We talk about ………….. I’m sure you get the picture.

But, at the moment we talk about toffee. Well, we talk about when does toffee become toffee toffee. According to Audrey, it’s when it’s not treacle toffee – i.e. not toffee toffee!!!!!! (exclamation marks justified). Surely, if it’s not treacle toffee it’s just toffee. Mmmm, now there’s a debate, call it ‘just toffee’. What about peanut toffee? What about rum flavoured toffee? This has even been debated around the table during a meal and I had to concede. So, now I will order toffee toffee in the shop. When I want a certain type of topping for my ice cream it will be ………………, yes, toffee toffee sauce.

Now, there’s a wonderful link to the title for this blast of words – ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, ice cream. That hidden pleasure from childhood which, when rediscovered, smashes you right in the face before you realise it. Actually, I think I’m referring to an altercation in a restaurant years ago when someone’s ice cream dish actually smashed them in the face.

Anyway, yes, ice cream, a pleasure that has been rediscovered of late, aided by the wonderful selection of flavours now on offer. Audrey is completely to blame for the recent growth of my already expanding waistline. Imagine, having being treated to a rather wonderful meal to be asked if I’m interested in some rhubarb and ginger ice cream? WHAT????????? Rhubarb AND ginger. Can life get any better? And, then I was asked if I wanted any cream on it. Not just cream, but DOUBLE CREAM (S T O P S H O U T I N G!!!!!!!!). The bliss was so good, I went into a state of denial and, as I was in denial and therefore didn’t believe I’d had it, I needed a second serving.

As many will recognise, sometimes in life after a high a low might follow. So, I’m sure you can guess my disappointment that we have not been able to find the rhubarb and ginger ice cream again. Was it a gift from another force as a reward for taking Ringo out for a walk? I don’t know, but I’m grateful for that moment.

However, as the life of #TeamDuke has shown, any low is short lived and a replacement taste sensation was discovered – strawberry and clotted cream ice cream with scone bits.OMG!!!!!!!(!!!!!!!). So, there we are – said ice cream, with double cream and, yes and my friend, toffee toffee sauce. Try it and then try and tell me I’m wrong.

Ice cream of course is a perfect treat on a day when the sun is shining in the sky, and there isn’t a cloud in sight. You know what I mean, when it’s stopped raining everybody’s in a play. As well you know, it’s a beautiful new day. Hey hey indeed.

Since 2003 Ben and I have been going to the Leeds Festival – probably the best music festival in the world. We share this glory with our sister site, Reading (😀). It’s 3 days of music magic. It’s always been just me and Ben but, in the world of #TeamDuke, we were delighted to share it with Audrey and her wonderful daughter and son, Gaby (welcome to our awesome world), Phil (brother-in-law) and Michael (nephew). Oh, and 90,000 others.

The norm for the Leeds Festival is the quagmire of mud created by the customary rain. Clarty as Susan would call it.

Not this year. We were blessed (definition of ‘blessed’ for this blog is lucky mingled with a dash of gratitude, kissed with a rush of joy!!!!!) with sunshine and dry fields. So sunny, that a covering of sun cream was needed to protect my extremely large forehead. Wonderful music, awesome company, beautiful weather. What more could I ask for? Rhubarb and ginger ice cream, with double cream and toffee toffee sauce.

With all of that, maybe we should become #CreamDuke. Or maybe even #TeamCreamDukeToffeeToffee.

I’ll close the blog on that thought. It’s good to feel happy. In fact, I might have an ice cream.

Take care,

 

Jon

 

Always on my mindful aka it’s not a sin

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

“What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favourite day,” said Pooh. – AA Milne.

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” – James Baraz

Throw those curtains wide, sang Guy Garvey, one day like this a year would see me right. Well, I’d quite like a day like this every day. Is today that good? As Pooh said, today is my favourite day.

Hello again. A few days break from the corporate world and the words are flowing. The Dark Side Of The Moonie blog reaction was rather overwhelming. It was based on a subject that has caused me some concern for a while and I’m glad I managed to get the blog completed. Thank you for your support. Anyway, that was then and this is now. It’s all a matter of ABC (an 80s song reference).

What’s so good about today? Well, it’s good because it’s Something Just Like This (a recent blog reference).

Okay, let’s crack on with the blog. Thanks for joining me on this latest View From The Ground. I thought I might be distracted as serious words have started on a Book 2. Book 2? What about Book 1? Was that These Wings Can Fly? Noooooo! As the the main author found her crow like wings and flew off in search of the Fifth Dimension (not a boy band reference), that book is confined to history as one of the greatest books of fiction ever written (apart from my bit). If you want a copy, let me know. Any money raised through the sale of the books will be donated to an appropriate charity.

I have several boxes of the book to off-load as the flown crow left them behind in her haste to convert to Archangel status before becoming an end of year celebrity by featuring on the police missing list. If you see her, perhaps mention the books might be useful in the coming colder weather to light the cult (duly spellchecked) camp fires. At the same time, let her know Ben and Liv say ‘hi’. They’re her son and daughter. I think she’s forgotten. She’ll be with a rather tall and glum looking fella. I won’t speak on behalf of his wonderful family. I’m proud to know his wife and sons and her friends. Truly awesome people.

And, before anyone says ‘ooo, that all sounds a bit harsh’, don’t worry, it’s my bizarre sense of humour. I’m just throwing back the curtains and embracing another awesome day in the world of #TeamDuke. I’m in the middle of a 2 week break from work and am loving every day of it. Lots of time with Ben, Liv and Audrey. Lots of walking the dogs. Lots of laughs. Lots of hugs. Lots of living in the moment. Bliss! And, that’s just it, as Buddha said, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

My above words are not dwelling in the past. I have learned to flip the past anger into present humour. And that brings me back to Book 2 – now provisionally titled ‘And so, the door closed. Archangel De-light’. It’s a fictional work, and I’m having fun writing it. Let’s just say, it’s a great release for my unique look on life.

Book 1? That’s going to be a rewrite of the #TeamDuke blogs, in the hope of providing hope, humour, and humility. Title – You Can Call Me Dummy. Maybe? Work that one out. I guess I have circa 50,000 words to work on so watch this space. I just need to become more mindful rather than having a mind full.

Which, miraculously brings me on to topic for this latest blog (spell check just suggested lasagna, which reminds me I need some bread).

Mindfulness – ‘the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training. The term “mindfulness” is a translation of the Pali term sati, which is a significant element of Buddhist traditions. In Buddhist teachings, mindfulness is utilised to develop self-knowledge and wisdom that gradually lead to what is described as enlightenment or the complete freedom from suffering.’

Okay, that’s the intelligent description of mindfulness. However, the key bit for me is ‘bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment.’

And it’s the focussing on the present moment that is helping to project #TeamDuke forwards.

I guess a lot of the latter half of 2016 was spent dwelling on the past, almost trying to reach backwards and pull forwards all of the good memories in the hope that they could return. Does that make sense?

However, events had occurred which meant closing that book, and allowing a new book to start writing itself.

In reality, and this is where mindfulness has really helped, I am now understanding the need to just focus on today and by doing that, it can truly be my favourite day. Think about it. Try waking up and just focussing on that exact moment. The first positive is – you woke up!

As those who have read previous blogs will know, we now have a dog – Ringo. He was poorly recently, so I let him sleep with me. He’s well again but, he still sleeps with me. However, he is great for practicing mindfulness because the minute he sees I’m awake, he wants a hug, to be stroked, and to be loved. That’s it. No worries about work, money, news, traffic etc. His only thought is that present moment. Bang! Mindfulness captured on 4 legs.

I’ve already written about my walks with Ringo but, again, it’s mindfulness personified – walk, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the birds, look at the greenery and flowers, enjoy the exercise. Bang! Mindfulness on the end of an extendable lead.

Mindfulness is a daily challenge, so I’m not saying it’s easy. Of course my mind / our minds drift backwards but I that’s becoming more manageable. Of course, the wee Scottish person in my life, Audrey, helps more that she realises. Audrey is a gem beyond words. As I’ve told her, she captures unconditional love in action without trying. She’s there for me, and for Ben and Liv. That’s whilst been an awesome mum to Eilidh and Liam. A true blessing that we are together to enjoy today. Tomorrow? When today is my / our favourite day I / we don’t need to think about tomorrow.

So, there you have in. Always being mindful isn’t a sin. Quite the opposite, it’s the thing!

Let’s follow Pooh and Piglet and make sure we make today our favourite day. Live, laugh, love. Breathe in the joy, look at the beauty, and listen to the magic. It’s the only way.

Throw those curtains wide, today being my favourite day will see me right.

 

Jon

 

 

 

 

Dark side of the moonie

Posted on by View from the ground

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Welcome to a View From The Ground. Yes, another blog but, this time, it’s a slightly left of centre look at a subject which has been high in my thinking for some time. Why? Thank you for asking. Mainly because the subject is something which, in my humble opinion, needs to be looked at.

I’ve been intrigued by spirituality for some time. Partly because I regard myself as a spiritual person but equally because of the various forms it appears to manifest itself into.

So, to start with, let’s look at the definition of spirituality – ‘the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.’

I think that is very conclusive. However, I then looked at Wikipedia and I want to share some words from their page on spirituality: –

‘Traditionally, spirituality refers to a religious process of re-formation which “aims to recover the original shape of man,” oriented at “the image of God” as exemplified by the founders and sacred texts of the religions of the world. In modern times the emphasis is on subjective experience of a sacred dimension and the “deepest values and meanings by which people live,” often in a context separate from organised religious institution. Modern spirituality typically includes a belief in a supernatural (beyond the known and observable) realm, personal growth, a quest for an ultimate/sacred meaning, religious experience, or an encounter with one’s own “inner dimension.”
The meaning of spirituality has developed and expanded over time, and various connotations can be found alongside each other. The term “spirituality” originally developed within early Christianity, referring to a life oriented toward the Holy Spirit. During late medieval times the meaning broadened to include mental aspects of life, while in modern times the term both spread to other religious traditions and broadened to refer to a wider range of experience, including a range of esoteric traditions.’

I hope I’ve not bored you. I just thought the above text was useful to put into context the traditional definition of spirituality versus a modern, I think, more self absorbing definition.

Now, let me set things straight. My words are just that – mine. This is not a view about any religion. I wouldn’t be so insulting to comment on anyone’s religious beliefs. I guess I’m looking at how a more extreme, radical take on spirituality could be taking a stranglehold on something which is meant to be for the good of all.

A sweeping statement? Maybe, but I believe I have experienced enough to get hold of a brush and sweep away.

I’m not into where badges as it were, but when I look at the way I try and live my life – through love, helping others before myself (unless the oxygen mask drops down on a plane – then I follow the pre-flight instructions), not basing my life around material things (any more), and trying to spread positivity – some would pin the spiritual badge on me. And that’s just fine.

There are always turning points in life and I had one a few years ago when I was encouraged – positively – to re-evaluate the way I looked at life. It was a positive turning point.

For some time, it all developed quite nicely. However, I then started to see – in a few others, one of whom you could say I was rather close to – a darker, more ego lead version of what they still claimed was spirituality. Let me expand (not just my stomach).

I’m not sure how many people have come across the ‘significance’ of the number 144,000. Again, to many, this is just another innocent connection into spirituality. I would have to say, I was one of that many. It seemed like a number, or at least 144, appeared randomly. I got almost obsessed – I’d look at the clock – 1.44 pm; a score at rugby – 14 4; etc. Of course, I didn’t obsess at every other time I saw on the clock or every other rugby score. Yes, I was hooked.

It took a significant ‘jolt’ to shake me into seeing this focus on 144,000 was an obsession.

I’ve been doing a little digging into the meaning of 144,000. Here’s one, in that it is a number one that represents ‘either descendants of Jacob (also called Israel in the Bible) or others to whom God has given a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world’.

Interesting! Let’s just repeat that – a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world.

However, let us not forget that 144,000 is mentioned in the Book Of Revelations. The following are not my words but something else that I have found on-line. The Book Of Revelations predicts and forecasts ‘the incarnation and arrival of 144,000 lightworkers who will save earth from the “forces of darkness” during the end times of the kali yuga. Most of the 144,000 lightworkers are now here and in the process of “waking up” to their divine purpose and mission on earth. The majority of the 144,000 are advanced incarnated starseeds from more advanced planets, although some of the 144,000 are advanced local souls of earth. Most of the 144,000 are now in the process of “waking up” and coming out of their long mental and spiritual hibernation, slowly but surely realising that they are here to assist in the great transformation of earth.’

Now, if you are still reading this, I don’t know about you but most of that reads like another language. However, the key part for me was ‘they are here to assist in the great transformation of earth’.

So, straight away, I have a conflict in my mind – are the 144,000 special ones here to have a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world? Or are they here to assist in the great transformation of earth?

Maybe it’s all down to your particular leaning. Or, is it all down to what fits with your own ego? Just throwing that question out there.

Call me naive – go on. ‘Jon – you’re naive’. Thank you. Anyway, as I’ve said earlier, I see spirituality as something which is about looking inwards at yourself to then be able to look outwards to help others. It’s about not being materialistic but about concentrating on supporting a greater good.

So, where does this ‘greater destiny’ fit in?

So, please let me look at this ‘greater destiny’ malarkey. I have been closely connected with someone who believed that they were 1 of the 144,000 and they believed they were in contact with others who regarded themselves as 1 of the 144,000. I seem to remember that 2 of said group felt that they sat at a table with others and in fact I think a group of 12 connected together. Now, thankfully, I wasn’t 1 of the 12 otherwise I would now be hearing screams of ‘Judas!’

Be it my not being one of the privileged or maybe it was my growing scepticism of this collective of chosen ones, but even last year I started to wonder what the mission was this ‘higher order’. Believe me, it was the latter. The idea of sitting around a table believing that I am akin to being one of the disciples is bordering on laughable. As an over weight, over aged, gruff Yorkshireman, I’m very happy in my earthly skin thank you very much. The only hot air I blast out follows a good old Indian meal.

Well, as the 2 referred to above decided that their ‘greater destiny’ was so great that they abandoned life as we know it – i.e. walked away from family, friends (well, one of them had friends), but more importantly, their children, you must question this extreme take on spirituality. Does abandonment of your children and responsibilities fall into the definition of being ‘here to assist in the great transformation of earth’? Let me leave that question hanging there.

Sticking to the debate over whether the 144,000 special ones are here to have a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world or here to assist in the great transformation of earth, does that bring the requirement to operate under a new name – as an Archangel?

I love it, and I can feel a book coming – Archangel Delight.

Anyway, in my plight to truly understand this subject, a quick look at the various definitions of Archangel was, let’s say, insightful. These words I found particularly interesting – ‘Archangel is a classification of angels who have great rank and power.  Apparently, there are three archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Lucifer.’

I kid you not when I say that I have seen a communication from 1 of the said 2, signed off as Archangel Michael. I’ll just leave that thought there, with a question – is this quest for the greater good or is this a misguided belief that when the predicted hell reigns on Earth, he with wings and she by his side will rise above the hell and land back on the ground to take their view and to use their skills to life off the land with the other 139,998 life lottery ticket winners.

Don’t worry by the way, I can think of at least 2 predicted world endings that have passed with a whimper – although, when my beloved rugby league team, the mighty Leeds Rhinos were fighting for Super League survival last year it felt like the end of the world.

So, my interest in this extreme form of spirituality has found a group of people who appear to believe that they possibly have a ‘greater destiny’ and an even smaller group who have transformed into Archangels and who, in their higher ‘state’ seem to be gathering a group in their ‘safe’ environment.

Now, I am of an age when I remember a so called group who traded under the banner of the ‘moonies’. For those who don’t know them, the moonies were / are ‘a religious group whose members must obey its rules and teachings completely’.

I am not suggesting anything here, but just throwing it out there. I did have a coffee with a group of moonies in the 80s and was invited to a meeting. Suffice it to say, I’m glad I left it at the coffee – and now drink tea 😱.

The other thinking, at best, is a group of people gathered around an Archangel and partner could be seen as a sect? A sect – ‘a group of people with somewhat different religious beliefs (typically regarded as heretical) from those of a larger group to which they belong.’

As I keep saying, these are just my thoughts as I try to understand this extreme form of spirituality which makes 2 (maybe) normal (maybe) people walk out on their children and, one of them, a family to whom they were a pivotal person. Is this normal spirituality or a dangerous extreme version?

Please be assured that I truly respect everyone has a right to an opinion, a belief, but my concern with this ‘version’ of spirituality has grown. I have seen at first hand it’s damaging effect.

Me? Well, I will keep going on my path. To be a reliable, loving, supportive, unconditional father to a Ben and Liv. To be a loving son, brother, uncle, brother-in-law, friend etc to all of those who mean everything to me. And now, a loving partner to Audrey – the truly awesome soul that I am blessed to have alongside me.

Thank you for reading this. I’m not sure how many people this blog will reach out to but it needed writing. Cathartic in the very least.

 

Jon

Something just like this (a blog without #TeamDuke in the title …….. well……..)

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 …………………………. !!!!!!!!

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” – Joel Osteen

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

3 quotes. 3 quotes! And the blog hasn’t even got wings, let alone started to fly. Wait!!! Sorry!!!! That’s a previous time. Let’s face it, those wings flew some time ago whilst I continue to look up at the world with delight – and, sometimes, concern – rather than down and oblivious.

So, come and sit whilst I navigate you along another beautiful path in the garden of #TeamDuke. Have I been drinking? Noooooo. I’m just a tad philosophical as I work out where this path is taking me for the blog. As ever, I start with an idea and then ramble on from there.

Following the last blog – #TeamDuke raise a glass and toast routine – I’ve been doing more thinking. I know, I do a lot of thinking, particularly over the last couple of years. I guess I’ve gone through a cycle, starting with ‘where am I?’, then ‘do I want to be here?’, moving to ‘how did I get here?’ and ‘what am I going to do?’. Thankfully, this has been followed by ‘how do I move forward?’, then ‘what do I need to do next?’, and getting to ‘how good is this?’.

And that’s just where things feel they are – how good is this? For me, for #TeamDuke, and for #TeamRingo.

It’s a funny old world. Rightly or wrongly – I think the former – I regularly read the news. Or, at least, I read the news that is published. Of course, we are not told everything. But, then, what is everything? The conspiracy theorists would tell us that our minds are being manipulated. I guess there is an element of truth in that. However, if you are to believe he conspiracy theorists, are our minds being manipulated by them? Think about it.

I remember someone I used to be close to and whose opinion I respected (no name needed) telling me she didn’t read the news anymore because she didn’t need to know what was happening in the world and that it shaped peoples’ minds. So, that being the case, what did she do? My belief, now, is that her mind was filled with the warped views and opinions of others (or, actually, other!) and, in essence, not have a mind of her own. So, therefore, became the kind of person she suggested that the news was manipulating the masses to be. Which is the most dangerous? My view, they are equally so. Of course, the news is read by millions. However, one person can bring real problems with their distorted views on family life and life in general.

It is only now that I feel at sufficient enough peace to be able to analyse such things. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this in my blog.

It’s been a funny old week. Poor old Ringo developed a bit of a worrying cough. I moved his cigarettes (JOKE!). I didn’t really move them (JOKE!!). We weren’t sure what the problem was but, so that I could keep any eye on him, I let Ringo sleep with me. Now, if someone had told me a year ago that I’d be sleeping with a dog, I’d have thought – mmmmmmm, life moves on and needs must. However, a 4 legged dog? Is she from Castleford? (JOKE!!!). (For any reader not local to West Yorkshire, that’s a local rugby league reference).

So, yes, sharing a bed with Ringo. Now, when he was not well, that was all good. However, clearly, he now sees this as the norm so, at some point of the night, into my room he trots and he dumps himself on my bed. Don’t tell anyone but it’s quite nice to have him there. For one, he doesn’t have a go at me for snoring.

It’s been a funny old month. It started with going to see Jeff Lynne’s ELO in concert. ELO have been my favourite band since they released Out Of The Blue in the 70’s. I was lucky enough to see them last year. I knew they were playing Hull this year but, due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn’t have the money to get a ticket. So, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise and emotional delight when Audrey announced she had bought tickets and booked a hotel. Stunning. What a woman! (Have you noticed that I’m obsessed with apostrophes. I’m also obsessed with brackets!)!)!)!)!)

Last Saturday was a funny old day (have you noticed I’m obsessed with ‘it’s a funny old …….!!!!!!!)))). A quiet night out (early evening) was arranged for me, Audrey and the awesome Steve and Susan Ramsden. Have I told you what incredible people they are and how they were there for #TeamDuke in our darkest times? Well, they were and I will always be truly grateful for their friendship. You couldn’t meet 2 nicer people (and I include me in that 🤢).

So, picture the scene – 4 ‘mature’ adults, sitting in a bar enjoying 2 for the price of 1 cocktails when we were told that the deal finished in 20 minutes. The picture is below. I love life. I love nights out like that with Audrey, Steve, and Susan. And it was amusing to see Steve being coaxed into a taxi rather than having that ‘one last beer’.

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It’s funny, because, as I have reflected on the blog and read back on some of the previous blogs, if I could have decided where I want my life to be and how I want #TeamDuke to be, I’d have to say it would be something just like this. It’s not filled with financial wealth (quite the opposite!), but it is filled with love, fun, unity, and gratitude. I can’t remember the last time all of those boxes were ticked. It’s filled with honesty, openness, hope, and a willingness to listen to each other about anything and everything. I can’t remember that for a long time. Our house is a home, we are a family (be that #TeamDuke, the Dukes, the Wallers, the Ashbys, and then the friends and so on), and we truly believe in each other and are always there for each other. I don’t need to add any more.

How did we get here? Please read the previous blogs to get an idea. But in addition, we had you the reader, we had each other, and we believed. And through that, we are living and loving a life something just like this.

I hope you enjoyed this latest blog. It would be great if you could spread the word. My dream for the View From The Ground blogs is that they give hope to others. I am nothing special – loud agreement there from many – but who and what I have in my life now is. Honesty, love, and belief.

Have a great day.

 

Jon

#TeamDuke raise a glass and toast routine

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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👁❤️2 ……………………….. routinely have routine

“Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person.” – Naveen Jain

Routine – “a sequence of actions regularly followed.”

Toast – “a call to a gathering of people to raise their glasses and drink together in honour of a person or thing, or an instance of drinking in this way.” However I prefer – “sliced bread browned on both sides by exposure to radiant heat, such as a grill or fire.”

Så velkommen til mine observationer fra Base Ground, or as I am better saying, so welcome to my observations from Base Ground. I thought I’d break with routine and try a bit of Danish. If I’ve got it wrong, blame Google Translate.

Now, that’s an interesting concept, breaking with routine when the whole purpose of this blog is to raise a glass and toast routine.

Well, now there’s a thought and, as well trodden readers will know, I do like to examine thoughts.

It’s been a while since the previous blog – #TeamRingo – my view from the ground. I loved writing that blog and I hope it was an enjoyable read. I know I’ve banged on about how the life of #TeamDuke has changed in the last year but, with a few last remaining ‘adjustments’ to be made, life is pretty damn good. And, thank you for asking.

I’d be lying if I said things don’t still make us sad. The great Chester Bennington from Linkin Park taking his life this week was heartbreaking. 41 years old, married, with 6 children. Wealth beyond what most of us could dream. Respected by his peers, adored by his fans. But, his tortured mind did not see a way forward so he ended his life. Truly sad. When will the world wake up and understand that wealth and fame do not equal happiness. EVERYONE needs love, support, and understanding from beyond their immediate circle – beyond adoration. This understanding must be focussed on the heart healing the head. This, of course, is in my humble opinion. There is hope for us all, but we need to ensure we can all see that. We need to make sure that we can all see the light. Rest in peace Chester. May you have now found your place of stillness and balance.

I’m grateful for my life and all that it brings – even the challenges (spell check just changed that to ‘chalkboard’).

I now learn from the challenges and use that learning to, hopefully, help others. My life purpose – helping others. Would you believe it? Helping others unconditionally, in the realms of their normal lives and not trying to implant into their minds that there is a high place for them. If you don’t know what I mean, have a look on Facebook where there are several groups / sects trying to ‘reach out’ and convince the vulnerable that there is a way to escape our impending doom. There is, stop looking on Facebook at the groups / sects who are trying to convince you that their way is the right way. YOUR way is the right way! Sorry, rant over. It took me a while to realise that there are 144,000 light energy reasons to realise that ascension is a distraction from the masses doing what actually needs to be done.

Funnily, if you read or hear about some of this clap trap, the world should have ended several times by now. I seem to remember an instance in September 2015 when a disaster was due to strike. When it didn’t, it actually did but only the ‘believers’ would understand. Well, September 2015 is when the Leeds Rhinos won the 2nd of their 3 trophies that year so that wasn’t a disaster for me.

Sorry, I’m making light of a serious subject but I truly worry that groups / sects / cults are forming in a similar way to the moonies and the like. If you’re looking for a cult, join Donald Trump (there goes spell check again!).

Anyway, let’s raise a glass and toast having a damn good rant.

Joking apart about routine, but I guess I have always been a routine kind of person. However, over the last year I have sought to change things around a little bit. A great example is the big shop (for those outside of the UK who don’t understand that term, it is the weekly grocery shop when you stock up on everything you need and a lot that you don’t). I would alway do it on a Saturday. I would have to be on my way by midday. I would have to fill 2 wine carriers (12 bottles). I would need to be home so lunch could be eaten close to 2 pm, etc. Now, I should when I want and how I want. It’s now a month since I last bought any win to have at home. I guess I’ve actually developed a routine of not having a routine.

However, I do love a good routine and I do believe it is good for the mind and spirit. My favourite is when on holiday, Ben and I go out every morning to collect bread and the like for breakfast. W always walk down to the village, wander along the promenade, buy newspapers, look out to see, and then buy breakfast. We talk about the impending football (soccer!!!!) season, the upcoming Leeds Festival etc. Pure joy. I also built into the afternoon of the holiday a good walk with Liv, so that we could have a chat. Well, actually, it’s so Liv can have an ice cream. Whatever it takes, it’s still pure joy.

Talking of the Leeds Festival, which we routinely go to every year, although one routine has been broken this year as Ben is paying for me (❤️), we chose our food type of the weekend and that’s what we stick to. For the last 2 years it’s been good old fish and chips and, for a festival, they are rather good. We even found the same caterers at the recent Let’s Rock Leeds festival. Pure joy!

I know being a free spirit and spontaneous is good and there are times that I’ll go along with the that concept. I just need to schedule it into my routine.

I’m always one for a simple life, so if putting a blend of routine and spontaneity into hat I think I can cope. As I’ve written about this year, 2017 has always being about moving forwards. Yes, #TeamDuke will always need a rant. But, that rant is no longer about looking backwards. It is meant to be about highlighting potential areas of concern that we have experienced and just wan to put out there as a note of caution.

To conclude, what was the purpose of this blog, I hear you asking? Well, the whole idea came about from one of the many reasons why I love our gorgeous dog, Ringo. Routine! Every morning, he joins me for breakfast – as simple as that. I wander into the kitchen, potter around, drop into the dining room to say hi to him. He just lies there until he hears the pop of the toaster and the scraping of butter on the toast. He then appears and sits in front of me whilst we share toast. I used to b such a grumpy pillock in the morning but he’s changed a major part of my life. Pure joy! I even now pick up Audrey on the way to the office so that we can have a catch up. Another routine. Pure joy!

So, there you go. Let’s raise a glass and toast routine. And let’s routine the toast.

Wishing you an awesome day, week, month, year, life. Keep it real because real is pretty damn good.

 

Jon

 

 

#TeamDuke It’s a family affair

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 …………………… keeping loving #TeamDuke

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” – John Wooden

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” – Alex Haley

3 quotes for the price of 1. You’re very welcome.

Here we are skipping towards the summer, and here I am, reflecting – AGAIN – on life from my rather grounded view of the world.

I consider myself lucky to be able to observe from this grounded position, as I try and look at what is in front of me. I guess it’s what makes me the person that I am.

Today, I want to celebrate the family. Simple as that. Family again, I hear you ask? Yes, my dear friend, family.

I am lucky when I look out at my family. I was extremely lucky to have been raised by a wonderful mum and dad. They are the reason for me being who I am today. Beyond that, I am grateful to have 2 brothers, who are great friends, and then there are my wonderful sisters in law and nephews, aunt and cousin. And then, there are the great brothers and sisters in law and nephews and nieces on my ex wife’s side of this awesome family. And then, her aunts, uncles, cousins etc etc. And then, my incredible friends, who are as much family as friends.

But, of course, I then look at the family who provide the shield of love at home. Ben, Liv, Ringo, Zeekee, and now Audrey. The unconditional love that they bring can never be under estimated.

And, I guess, that’s where this blog kicks in.

As any discerning reader will know, Ben and Liv’s mum walked out of the family home nearly a year ago. Yes, she walked away from her family – including all of the above wonderful souls. I understand that she believes that she followed her path. No, she walked out and now suggests that her husband, son, and daughter did not support her on her quest. I’ll leave it there, as the purpose of the blog is not to throw mud. However, I think a little humanistic honesty is required. Clearly, I am happy to debate this point – off-line.

So, the last year has been a hell of a ride for #TeamDuke, but the above is where the story started.

As those who have followed the story of #TeamDuke through this year’s blogs, I have looked to celebrate. Yes, celebrate. You can never under estimate the lowest of the low point from where we started. Ben was away at Camp America when he heard what had happened. Liv was suffering from her own challenges. Me? This isn’t about me. This, as I’ve said is a celebration. Of course there has been bitterness. I’m human. I believe I’m loving, caring and loyal. So, the starting point was low.

But, in the last year, the power of the family has been immense. However, for the purpose of this blog, I am going to focus on the wonderment of who I am honoured to call my son and daughter. I want to raise a glass to them, and celebrate our life together.

Ben – for so many years, we have been close. We share a love of music and rugby league. But, it’s so much more than that. He described me as being more like a brother. How awesome is that! I always thought I would get to the point where I would be fading out pottering along behind him at the Leeds Festival. Well, how wrong could I be! This year, Ben will be 23 and HE’S paying for me to go with him. Words fail me.

Ben is such a steadying influence on his sister. Obviously they have spats. But they are so close and, at times of frustration about their absent mother, they support each other.

I don’t think Ben truly understands what a wonderful, loving, funny, charming young man he is. Sorry if I’m being a tad gushing but, it is a family affair and as #TeamDuke we want to inspire others to realise all hope has not gone. Hope is really as long as there is love.

Liv – well, where do I start. A more beautiful, understated soul I am yet to meet. Liv constantly talks about lacking confidence, but when the going gets tough, Liv rises above all others and defeats whatever is placed in front of her.

The last year has been tough for Liv, perhaps longer. It has been suggested Liv is dramatic. No, she’s honest!

Liv was there for me in the early days of ‘well, I didn’t see that coming’; days of feeling rejected.

Liv has some much love in her heart and has grown with such strength.

As a collective, I didn’t think #TeamDuke could be any closer. Through the sharing of love, support, laughter, and a few tears, we have and will continue to do so.

Ben and Liv know I’m there for them 24 / 7, but I know they are for me – although I’m not sure how Liv would react if I woke her at 4 am to tell her there was a moth in my room. Or how Ben would react if I woke him up at 4 am to tell him I’m home from a night out clubbing, and then lay with him for 15 minutes for a chat.

I love it!

And, let’s not forget Ringo (dog) and Zeekee (cat). The positive energy, the unconditional love, and the fun that they bring to our home. 18 months ago I would not have wanted another animal in the house – the latest hamster going to the great wheel in the sky some months before. However, I was so wrong. We are very lucky and I am grateful for the day I woke up.

It would be remiss not to say a few words about Audrey. For so long, friends with a common interest in music and the regular chat around mindfulness, basic spiritual stuff, books on positive thinking, and a bit of psychology. However, here we are, a few months in and going strong. Apart from the happiness that Audrey has ignited within me, she has also provided incredible support and companionship already that Ben and Liv.

Finally, I know I refer to how lucky I am to have such incredible friends. In this blog, I want to name check the phenomenal Ramsdens. I have been close to Steve and Susan for many years, but the support that they have given me / #TeamDuke has been beyond words. I could never find the words to express my gratitude to them. At those darker times, they would appear with a bottle of wine, a home made cake, a smile, and plenty of hugs. Thank you ❤️.

In essence, it is a family affair. Be that blood family or members who have joined along the way.

Sorry if the blog has been a bit indulgent. Also, sorry if I have embarrassed anyone through being overly emotional.

And sorry if I have offended my ex-wife.

Vivienne – this is not the intention. I know you won’t be reading this but I am just saying it as it is – let’s say in the 3rd dimension. In fact, I have so much to be grateful to you for, and for that I thank you. #TeamDuke are strong; we are alive and kicking. Ben and Liv have some of your positive characteristics from when you were there for them, as their mum. We do not judge. We observe. We do not carry self pity. We carry emotions and, thankfully, those emotions are intact. Ben and Liv love you from their hearts. I’ll leave it there. I hope as your 50th birthday passes, you can reach inside and remember what role a mum has to play in their children’s lives. You had one of the best role models I can think of.

God bless. It is a family affair.

 

Jon

 

 

Daddy’s source

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 …………………………..be part of #TeamDuke
“Being a father has been, without a doubt, my greatest source of achievement, pride and inspiration. Fatherhood has taught me about unconditional love, reinforced the importance of giving back and taught me how to be a better person.” – Naveen Jain

So, here we are. In the northern hemisphere we are moving towards summer and that always brings hope of a little sunshine and a lot of good times.

For us in #TeamDuke, this summer brings with it a slightly different twist, as we will see the first year pass since Ben and Liv’s mum decided to quit the role she had done so magnificently for many years and felt she had a bigger task – to save the world. Interestingly, since this quest started we have seen Donald Trump elected as the president of the United States, terrorist attacks have continued at an alarming rate around the world, famine is on the rise, thousands are leaving their war torn homelands, and I could continue. However, we in #TeamDuke can sleep easy, as the lands in the microcosm of Portugal where the departed one now resides are well cared for.

But, the tone of this blog is not a negative one, as we have worked hard on not looking back. The tone is very much positive and we celebrate where we are now and we continue to share our lives in the hope it provides some hope, inspiration, fun and, if nothing else, a bit of entertainment.

Welcome, then, to another observation from here at ground level – my view from the ground.

My aim is to reflect honestly and from the heart. Yes, perhaps at times, I digress a tad to look at the reasons for my taking up temporary residence in a dark place. But, as the Rag N Bone Man so accurately put it, “I’m only human”. I’m certainly nothing special. With a twinkle toed side step like Joel Moon (only rugby league – best sport in the world – fans will understand that one), as Chris Martin warbled “I’ve been reading books of old. The legends and the myths. Achilles and his gold. Hercules and his gifts. Spiderman’s control. And Batman with his fists. And clearly I don’t see myself upon that list.”.

As 2017 has rolled on, I have sought to share how #TeamDuke has moved from a state of adversity to a place of happiness. How we have brought our house back to being the home base to which we return for our collective fun and family love. How we look at and are grateful for everything last thing we have, and not be angry at what we don’t. And, so on. The blogs have reached out to people in various ways. Some, perhaps, more relevant to the reader than others. But, as I’ve said before, if one blog helps one people, giving that one person inspiration and hope, then I am a very, very happy soul. Apart from anything else, if that one person then takes that message to help someone else, the multiply effect kicks in.

I remember, in my days of – let’s say – taking this spirituality lark a bit too seriously, being challenged as to what my life purpose was. Basically, why was I on this planet. Well, apart from to eat Indian food, drink red wine, say inappropriate things, and to be the butt of others’ humour I was a bit stuck for an answer.

That is a joke of course. My purpose always has been and always will be to be here for my family and friends. But, I was always challenged that there must be more. Surely, the love that I have for my family and friends could be better used through a greater, a higher, calling. Looking back, it felt like the suggestion that I dare place family and friends above anything else was wrong.

But, no, wait a minute there! How can having your life purpose as being there for your family and friends not be enough? To be there to provide stability, love, comfort, support, to be a rock, and, in essence, to actually BE THERE!

Surely, by providing all of this, by having the sole purpose to be that rock is actually the ground from which life can then grow. It gives that knowledge to those who grow from that base that they can always return to that person when love, support and so on is needed to aid their continued growth. Am I making sense?

I love being a dad! I love being here for Ben and Liv. Simple as that. I love the fact that they know that I am here – always. I may need to travel for work but I return to our home. I love being grateful to have such an awesome, loving son and daughter. I love that we are friends as much as anything else. I love what we all share together. I love that we can inspire others through our love for each other, and that may, just may, help others with their life journey. Is that wrong?

From well watered soil life can grow. That soil needs to have continued watering and tendering to ensure that good life can grow. It needs a constant source of water. I’d say daddy’s source. I’m grateful for being given the opportunity of being that source for #TeamDuke.

Without going too much over the top, but I truly believe that we are bloody awesome. Just saying. And, I am proud that my life purpose is being fulfilled, right here right now. I’m available 24 / 7, where ever I am. That’s the commitment I have made, and I will stick to it. I love my son and daughter with my whole heart. That love does then expand beyond our home, because I know what has been created here is stunning. I am grateful for the family and friends I have in my life, and I am grateful that #TeamDuke has welcomed Audrey as a new team member. We may have to change to #TeamDuke+ARatherSmallPerson. Something to think about.

Okay, time to wind my neck in. Thanks for reading my latest blast of energy. I hope life is good and you can be there for those who need you. Your presence can never be more important than it is today.

Peace and love. Stay safe. Just be careful out there. As I finish this blog, my heart goes to those affected by the latest terrorist attack, this time in London. My heart also goes to those recently affected by terrorist attacks in Manchester and the atrocities in Kabul.

Jon

Animal house. #TeamDuke – a year to remember

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 ……………………….. pick up the poo from the ground………. not a nice view
And so another View From The Ground blog starts with a quote. Not one; not two; yes, threes quotes. Why? Well, in truth, I tried to copy / paste one quote but seemed to collect three. However, in reality I love these quotes as the capture the theme of the latest, all singing and dancing, #TeamDuke update. So, welcome again to regular readers, new readers, and those who are just curious at what may unfold before their eyes.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“Two roads diverged in the road and I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Please bear with me as I unwind what is whirling around in my head. The title of the blog captures three themes, whereas as the sub-title captures what I capture from one of those themes. Mmmmm, now that’s something to behold.

So, I hope life is treating you well and that you are treating life well. Now, there’s a thought straight away – how many of us expect life to be good to us rather than us being good to life? Confused? Let me expand, as this idea has just dropped in.

When we wake up, do we a) groan; or b) express gratitude for a new day? Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m an a) and b) kind of guy these days and am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

Once we are up and about, do we a) dread the day; or b) enjoy the moment and work on making the best out of the day ahead. Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m less a) and more b) and, again, am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

I hope you get the picture. It’s useful exercise and one I personally try to do regularly to switch my old, natural, pessimistic self, into a more positive focussed person. As those who know me well will confirm, it’s a road I still travel daily and I do have occasional slips along the way.

The core at the #TeamDuke base – as featured in the last blog – Our House – is now, an old man (me), a young man (Ben), a young lady (Liv), a cat – the boss (The Zeek), and a dog – a doofus (Ringo).

If someone has said that our home would be made up of 3 humans, a cat and a dog a year ago I’d have thought they were thinking about another home. However, here we are! A veritable animal house and loving it.

The Zeek joined us 16 months ago and is a beautiful , majestic animal. She’s the boss and we all know that.

However, welcoming Ringo into the home has been a completely different experience. Liv has wanted a dog for years but I steadfastly held out that it just wouldn’t work. Recent times have softened me and here we are, With a great big doofus of a border collie.

It’s also being a big thing for Ben, who has always felt uncomfortable around dogs. But, Ben recognised that bringing a dog into the home would be good for Liv, so he gracefully agreed.

And, here we are, Ringo joined us and introduced me to having to deal with the poo from the ground. Nice! However, the many, many wonderful things he has brought to our home have, at times, being overwhelming.

I’ve seen on Facebook a picture of a man and a dog, sitting by a lake with thought bubbles over their heads. The man’s is full of work, money, news, relationships, anger, etc. The dog’s just has an image of the lake, as that is all he sees. I’ve always liked this image, but never really understood it.

But with Ringo, I fully get it now. I know all dog owners will understand this but please bear with me, as this is new experience for #TeamDuke.

The morning is the best example. I roll out of bed, feeling the gratitude for doing so of course. I stumble around the house, doing my best to be positive but remembering the things I need to do in the day, growling at a slightly loose tap (faucet), grumbling that Liv has left the bathroom light on …………. again, reminding myself I need to put some fuel in the day, and so on.

The Zeek wanders around close by, looking at her food bowl and wondering how Donald Trump is the most powerful person in the world. She’s very intelligent. And then, I open the downstairs door to Ringo. Does he leap with delight at seeing me? Does he run around looking for food? Does he ask me whether I’m worried that Theresa May has called at election and she won’t have any dogs standing to be elected for parliament? Nope! He looks at the door and telepathically tells me he’s got a gift for me. Another poo from the ground.

After that, and breakfast, the magic begins. My head is still awash with the day (positively of course), but it’s time to ask the question – “where’s your lead?”. This is where the perspective kicks in and I tune into Ringo’s frequency. Those words trigger unbelievable excitement as he Runs in circles. I can’t help but be swept up by his enthusiasm. No work, money, news, anger issues can break into this bubble of fun. He leaps trying to get into his harness and we end up leaping around together. Yes, dear folk who are used to my scowling, grumpy face, I leap about. It’s impossible not to.

And, that the magic. All of us in #TeamDuke have been effected by the joy for life that Ringo has injected into our home – even The Zeek.

As I said, all dog owners will resonate with this but, for me, this has been such an awakening. My dream for these blogs is to share our learnings and to, hopefully, bring a smile and even some hope when it’s needed. I want people to feel our happiness and, in turn, feel happy.

So, 2017, a year to remember. That was the plan at the start of the year and that continues to be the #TeamDuke mission. So far, so good. As we look at our achievements so far, Ben is doing great at work and is looking forward to a summer of music festivals; Liv has been to Belgium and Denmark this year, going on her own. Such a step forward; me? Well, as I have alluded I have someone in my life now – Audrey. It’s early days but the magic is there to be seen and felt. Im truly grateful for the joy Audrey has brought to me, but also, in turn, to #TeamDuke.

Ben and Liv are such wonderful people and, in the last 10 months, we have really learned about the strength of #TeamDuke. I am so blessed to have such an awesome son and daughter.

Life for #TeamDuke is on an upward trajectory. But we will never take what we have for granted. We are grateful for every day and for everything we have.

And, at this point, I will wrap up another #TeamDuke update. Ringo needs a walk and I’m looking forward to letting the dog out, and having a jump around.

I wish you peace, happiness and that you also have a year to remember.

Jon

Our house – #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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❤️2 ……………………. return home
“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action.” – Mother Teresa

I’m at it again, 2 quotes; 1 blog. However, as ever, there’s a message to share, so please bear with me as we open another window in the house of #TeamDuke.

Welcome to this View From The Ground blog. I hope you are enjoying the sharing of our experiences. To be honest, it’s almost like keep a journal – well, sort of. Please bear with me whilst I expand (just like my stomach) on that point.

Before I do, that you for the great response to the last blog – Talk Talk – It’s my life with #TeamDuke. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who peeked through the curtains into our world. I hope you will stay with us and continue to share, celebrate, hopefully be inspired by our ongoing development as the beautiful #TeamDuke.

Over the course of the year, I have tried to share the experiences of #TeamDuke. We are nothing remarkable, when compared to millions of others. However, we are proud of who we are and where we are in relation to our on-going well being. I’m not going to rehash previous blogs on which I have discussed matters relating to the starting point of our journey. If you want to have a look, the #TeamDuke blog is a good starting point.

However, over the course of this year’s blog, I have shared what I would describe as the building blocks which have helped us grow even stronger as a family of 3 – + Zeekee the cat, Ringo the dog, and, well, the new person in my life.

The building blocks – or as I have just mistyped, ‘building blogs’ (an accidental play on words, but actually quite good, so I’m going to use that) – have been based around love, gratitude for what we have (not what / who we’ve lost), the power of family and friends, open communication, helping others, and so on. But the key has been the building blogs (😀) have been shared in the hope that our experiences will help as many people as possible; maybe even inspire action. I certainly hope they put a smile on the reader’s face.

So, what’s the latest building blog (I really do like this term!) about? Well, you might have guessed it’s about the magic of being at home and the incredible place home is / should.

Our house is nothing outstanding. It’s a nice semi-detached. Our house, in the middle of our street. Sounds like Madness? Not really, but I don’t want to become an embarrassment by going on about the house. But, the magic happens because our house is our home.

I guess my point here is the emphasis being on it being a home, not just a house. A place where we gather to talk, to laugh, maybe to cry, to dance like no one is watching, to sit in perfect peace and to be just so.

Ben reminded me recently in those challenging times last year, there were days when I would come home from work and, within minutes, be exclaiming that I should have stopped at the office. Sadly, the home was suddenly a house. It was soulless. I’m sure those who know me will understand the irony – and, as I seem to say a lot, I do love a bit of irony. Now, this is not a dig; it’s a fact and something for which I accept my fair share of responsibility. I didn’t at the time but, upon reflection, I’ll hold my hand up.

However, the commitment we have made as #TeamDuke is to recreate what this wonderful building was for many years – a beautiful home, where we could welcome family, friends, and basically everyone who wanted to join us.

As I discussed in the previous blog, Talk Talk – It’s my life with #TeamDuke, communication is so very important. In equal measures, having a place where we can talk openly is critical – home!

I love that over the last few months we have returned to having a home where people can and will turn up unannounced – wonderful. Where friends will appear at the door, a bottle of wine in hand, ready to have fun. To many people, I’m sure this is no big deal. I understand that, but for us it has been so important because we had lost that.

So, what’s the message? Having now read nearly 800 words I’m sure this is a question that is whirling around your mind. Sorry. I suppose the message is hidden as another exclamation of gratitude. I’m grateful for my house in the middle of our street. It’s our home; it’s our roots; it’s our little piece of heaven; it’s our place to continue creating those bricks of growth and they, in turn, can become future building blogs.

I think I’ll close there. As I sit at home; in my place of quiet reflection and quiet gratitude for everyone and everything in my life. I am blessed and I hereby place on record my love and gratitude to all who have brush passed me through life. Those who have been and gone, thanks for the memories. This who have come and stayed – watch this space as the ride could get interesting. For now, the door of our home is open to you.
Jon xxx