Ben speaks (#TeamDuke)

Posted on by View from the ground

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The following are the words of Ben – my inspirational son. The words are written from the heart, with love, and are published in the hope that they will reach the target ‘audience’. I also want to publish them to show that there is light after dark, there is hope after despair, and wherever and whenever there is love, good will be the result.

I’m not entirely sure how to start these things, so I’ll start how Dad loves to, with a cheeky quote (although Im pretty sure there is nothing remotely cheeky about this quote, other than taking the pi** out of Dad”

“Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.” – Kay, Peter

Right now that’s done, onto the real reason I’m here. As many of you may, or may not know, this past year (give or take a few months), has been a hectic one, and probably the hardest of my life. It feels appropriate I write this blog on the 5 year anniversary of my incredible Grandad passing away, whom I share many treasured memories with. A wonderful man, married to a wonderful woman and Gran. Unfortunately both are watching down from the heavens now, but I live to make them proud. They made this family everything it ever is, and everything it ever will be. I love them both dearly, and miss them greatly.

The song Angels by Robbie Williams is a song I used as a strength at the time, a song me and Mum used to relate to each other. A song we listened to around the passing of Grandad, because it allowed us to release our emotions. “She offers me protection, a lot of love and affection” etc, this were lyrics I related to Mum, because she was my angel sent from heaven. Spent many of special mother and son moments together, and I was very lucky, so lucky to call her my Mum.

Unfortunately this paragraph takes a little turn for the worst. So, as many of you may know, my Mum walked out on the family over a year ago whilst I was away having the time of my life in America. She “found the light”, and ran away with Rich(ard), a man who shared a similar unrealistic dream of saving the world, and similarly left a wife and two sons behind. Me and Mum were a tight as you could be as a mother & son, inseparable, we were the same person. She was my emotional support, and my rock whenever I was feeling down. So in July 2016 when she walked away from her family, is for the first time really, where we found our roads taking different turns. I chose to stay with my Dad & Sister, and she chose to run. I’d be lying if I said even now, my heart doesn’t break a little everyday when I wake up and realise she isn’t just downstairs for a chat. The whole process felt like mourning, she was alive, but not the Mother I knew and loved it. It genuinely felt like a death, and was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt in my life. To see the affect it had on my Dad (who I’ll get onto later), and my sister was heart wrenching. I knew I had to stay strong for them, even on the days when I wanted to break down and turn into a recluse, I knew I had to stay strong for them. I also knew I’d made the right decision, because family for me is everything, family is my divine.

Fast forward a year, and things regarding Mum are possibly worse. She had deleted Facebook, and told me and my sister she’s cutting contact. We haven’t seen her for over a year, and again it has caused a great amount of emotional outpouring, and even caused me to shed a tear or two. If anyone knows me well enough, they know I don’t cry! But it allowed me to release my emotion and carry on being the strength for my family. All I truly want from her is a sign, some human emotion that she still cares. It’s upsetting reading her open letter on Facebook. All I can impress on people is that is not Mum, it’s what she has been turned into by people who now coward away, and try and hide behind what they’ve done, and instead now turn on the people they previously called their friend. It takes a lot for me to write this down, I’m a closed book and only open up for people I feel a true connection with, and trust. This has possibly been my greatest learning curve in life, and there is no doubt I have come out a stronger person.

The truth is though, we as a family now are stronger than ever for so many reasons and I am happier than I ever have been, and content with the course life is taking. I have a new job, a career driven job and everyday learning something new, and gaining a tremendous amount of experience. A girlfriend (who’d have thought it). Gaby, all though only in my life for a short amount of time, has shown a tremendous amount of courage herself and has been there for me when I was possibly at my lowest. It took me some time to realise it, but I feel I have truly met someone special and someone who I can be myself around, and makes me incredibly happy. My job, working in media for the first time in 2 years has also provided a timely boost, and the start of a new era.

I have my music, music to me is cathartic and switches me off from the world. Although bands like Architects may seem like screamy nonsense to some, to me they are more than that. There music reaches out to me like nothing else can.My sister Liv is moving onto far greater things, and has the fire in her eyes that had be extinguished so cruelly over a year ago. I am prouder of Liv than I could ever tell her. She has overcome adversity and come out fighting! Dad, my hero and my best friend. Taking on the role of Dum (Dad & Mum), even the household chores! This man has been a pillar of strength, and has held me and Liv up when all we wanted to do is fall. I could sit here and write for hours, but he knows, he’s saved us both. He’s everything I want to be, and couldn’t be prouder of everything he does. Audrey, the wee one. The support she has offered has just been off the scale, she has offered me and Liv a female figure to turn to. To her I probably give my biggest thank you. She’s taken on a load that she really didn’t have to, but she cared, she showed that she cares, and that was massive to me, Dad and Liv. She’s a great laugh and just fits in to our home perfectly.
There are too many people to thank, The Wallers, The Dukes/Ashby’s, Kathy, Cathy, Liam, Connor, James etc, the list is endless, but you know who you all are.

I struggle to put this kind of thing into words. We as a family now are at a great point in our lives. If Mum was ever to return I’d welcome her back with open arms. Despite everything that’s happened, I love her dearly, and if anything, the last year has made me appreciate the time I had her there 1000x more than I did.
We’re closer now than we ever have been. Keep an eye out for Dad’s new one, and he’ll tell you all about it.

 

Ben

Eye go here, egos there

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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“To see the world through the eyes of a dog is the greatest awakening I have experienced. To see, to truly see. To hear, to truly hear. To smell, truly smell. Imagine. Now, do it.” – Jon Duke

When is a quote a quote? Can a quote written by the author of the blog actually be a quote? Or is it a quote quote? Now, there’s a debate but to understand what the hell I’m on about, you need to read the last blog – ice cream, double cream, sun scream, #CreamDuke.

As usual with my word trotting, I said start with the title and then plot a map of mayhem to arrive at a point where I actually arrive at what I’m supposed to be exploring.

But, I’m going free form with this blog and I intend to start with where my eyes have gone. And no dear predictable friend, not towards an attractive lady. How very dare you!!!!!!!! I am very happily happy the very wonderful Audrey. I accept, whilst I sit here on the train back home, I would love to be in a carriage full of lovely ladies. Nowt wrong with that.

However, from where I sit, there is an elderly couple. Probably just been on holiday somewhere in the UK. Probably married for 40 – 50 years. Definitely as much in love now as they were when they got married. Lovely little glances. Little jokes. And now he’s been to get her a cardigan as she’s cold. No, I’m not stalking. I’m just revelling in observing love. Beautiful!

Sometimes it’s good to let your eye(s) go for a walk around. It helps to see the wonderment of love. When we have it, it’s the greatest feeling.

So, welcome on board the view from the grounded love train (😀). Thanks again for taking time out to read my blogs. I was chatting about how writing the blogs are therapeutic, cathartic and a great release. My dream remains true hat if publishing these blogs help one person, I am a very happy man. Of course, if I can help more through sharing the world of #TeamDuke, I am a very happy and proud man.

When I tell people that I intend to publish a book, I don’t know who is more doubtful, them or me (😀). Those who know me well, may remember I started a book 2 years ago. Title – Round The Bend or Turning The Corner. 60,000 words from blogs are I’d already published. All rewritten, and with a very personal opening chapter. But, clearly I held off for a good reason. There went my pension ………. Not!

So, the current work of art will come to fruition – You Can Call Me Dum, But Don’t Call Me Dumb.

As for a fictional piece I’ve started, let’s see how that works out. A dark comedy, which, if the 6 degrees of separation worked in my favour, could be a musical as the key character ………….. No, let’s see if I get chance to develop my thinking.

You could say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one once said a wonderfully talented scouser. It’s good to dream. I find it gives me something to aim towards. My dream at the start of the year was that 2017 would be awesome. So far, so good in duffus world of #DreamDuke (notice that clever play on words!).

To be fair, I also dreamt the blogs would help and inspire others to feel the love and gain hope in their own worlds. So far, so good. My next dream is for the blogs to reach out and touch the hearts and lives of thousands (what do you think? 144,000? No, let’s go for 11,110,000).

As I’ve written before, I love the idea of seeing the world through the eyes of our beautiful dog, Ringo. He sees nothing but an opportunity to give and feel the love. The times recently when I’ve worked home, and, let’s say go a tad frustrated. The next thing I know is his head is resting on my leg with that look of ‘oh Jon, I love you’.

Wouldn’t it be great to see everything from a state of love? Impossible? Nooooo. Everything is possible but, I have to admit, it’s going to be one heck of a journey to get there. A few things to work on are road rage, shopping trolley rage, queue rage, referee rage, rage rage. Basically, rage. But, it’s a worthwhile journey and wouldn’t it be good if it is a journey we could all embark on. Not in a weird, let’s form a cult (spellchecked). Not in a happy clapper state. But, in a state of seeing good. And actually looking for the good to see and not letting ego take over.

Ego? What is ego? Some people might think I’ve got a big ……. ego because I take selfie pretty much every day. Nooooo. That’s not ego. It’s self deprecating fun. Look at me? Over weight, under haired, over chinned, under intellectual but overly happy. So, why not put a daft picture on Facebook.

Ego? There are dictionary definitions but I’ll let you decide as you see people and life around you.

I do worry about ego in the world today. Do people do things for the betterment of others or to satisfy their own state of ego. Think world leaders, right now. Think business and financial leaders. But, I won’t let ego dictate that I dictate to you.

All I ask is that we leave our egos at the door and see and share the wonders of the eye – as if been seen by Ringo, or who ever your dog is. I’m going to keep on trying.

I hope you have enjoyed this journey from the train carriage of live.

I truly hope that the world of #TeamDuke can inspire you to step back, look at what you have, and look at what there is around you. It’s a kind of magic.

 

Jon

Ice cream, double cream, sun cream, #CreamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Sun is shinin’ in the sky. There ain’t a cloud in sight. It’s stopped rainin’ everybody’s in a play. And don’t you know.It’s a beautiful new day, hey hey” – Jeff Lynne

Hey hey indeed and welcome to a quote free start to another View From The Ground. I like a good song and Mr. Blue Sky is one of my favourites. I can’t help but smile because it, bizarrely, makes me think of sunshine and a beautiful blue sky. And, from a spiritual and overall emotional perspective, that sums up this year – sunny.

It’s been a funny old few weeks. I’ve felt a rush of words, thus why so many blogs. I’m grateful for the feedback I receive – what ever the shape of the feedback. It’s nice to know they are having an impact.

However, one particularly response I do want to address is concern raised relating to my emotional wellbeing – I think this is due to some references made to circumstances over the last few months, and the causes of those circumstances. I feel it important to reflect a little on past circumstances to afford the reader insight into the starting point for the #TeamDuke growth.

I am grateful for any concern but, rest assured, I have never been better. I think, sometimes, people read too much into words without understanding the writer’s perspective. I try to write with a smile, and sometimes that helps me to address difficult situations with a sense of dark humour, perhaps. So, thank you. #TeamDuke is on top form and very grateful for that. I am feeling incredibly happy. How couldn’t I be. If in doubt, there’s a few blogs to have a look at.

Finally, thank you to everyone who took time to read the last post – An open letter from Liv. The comments have been beautiful and we are very grateful for the support received.

Okay, on we go with the ramblings – and still not a quote quote in sight (I guess using some words from a song is a quote, but it isn’t a quote quote). This actually brings me on to a debate I am having with Audrey about toffee. Now, the immediate thought must be ‘that relationship ain’t going to last’. I accept my track record of late hasn’t been good with relationships and it does look like Audrey and I are travelling down different roads on this subject, and once you disagree about toffee, what next, potatoes (don’t get me started on potatoes!!!!!! (there he goes again with exclamation marks)), and ‘you really talk about toffee’ (don’t get me started about what else is there to talk about. YES I READ THE NEWS!!!!!!!!! (‘exclamation marks again and he’s shouting. He’s an emotional wreck’).

Yes, we talk about toffee. We talk about music. We talk about rugby league (Leeds Leeds Leeds (‘now he’s saying the same word 3 times!!!!!!!!!! And using more exclamation marks. He needs help. Now, quickly. Hey Jon, hold up the mirror. What do you see?’ I SEE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! (‘aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhj’)). We talk about our life together and our lives past, present, and future. We talk about our families. We talk about our friends. We talk about spirituality. We talk about ………….. I’m sure you get the picture.

But, at the moment we talk about toffee. Well, we talk about when does toffee become toffee toffee. According to Audrey, it’s when it’s not treacle toffee – i.e. not toffee toffee!!!!!! (exclamation marks justified). Surely, if it’s not treacle toffee it’s just toffee. Mmmm, now there’s a debate, call it ‘just toffee’. What about peanut toffee? What about rum flavoured toffee? This has even been debated around the table during a meal and I had to concede. So, now I will order toffee toffee in the shop. When I want a certain type of topping for my ice cream it will be ………………, yes, toffee toffee sauce.

Now, there’s a wonderful link to the title for this blast of words – ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, ice cream. That hidden pleasure from childhood which, when rediscovered, smashes you right in the face before you realise it. Actually, I think I’m referring to an altercation in a restaurant years ago when someone’s ice cream dish actually smashed them in the face.

Anyway, yes, ice cream, a pleasure that has been rediscovered of late, aided by the wonderful selection of flavours now on offer. Audrey is completely to blame for the recent growth of my already expanding waistline. Imagine, having being treated to a rather wonderful meal to be asked if I’m interested in some rhubarb and ginger ice cream? WHAT????????? Rhubarb AND ginger. Can life get any better? And, then I was asked if I wanted any cream on it. Not just cream, but DOUBLE CREAM (S T O P S H O U T I N G!!!!!!!!). The bliss was so good, I went into a state of denial and, as I was in denial and therefore didn’t believe I’d had it, I needed a second serving.

As many will recognise, sometimes in life after a high a low might follow. So, I’m sure you can guess my disappointment that we have not been able to find the rhubarb and ginger ice cream again. Was it a gift from another force as a reward for taking Ringo out for a walk? I don’t know, but I’m grateful for that moment.

However, as the life of #TeamDuke has shown, any low is short lived and a replacement taste sensation was discovered – strawberry and clotted cream ice cream with scone bits.OMG!!!!!!!(!!!!!!!). So, there we are – said ice cream, with double cream and, yes and my friend, toffee toffee sauce. Try it and then try and tell me I’m wrong.

Ice cream of course is a perfect treat on a day when the sun is shining in the sky, and there isn’t a cloud in sight. You know what I mean, when it’s stopped raining everybody’s in a play. As well you know, it’s a beautiful new day. Hey hey indeed.

Since 2003 Ben and I have been going to the Leeds Festival – probably the best music festival in the world. We share this glory with our sister site, Reading (😀). It’s 3 days of music magic. It’s always been just me and Ben but, in the world of #TeamDuke, we were delighted to share it with Audrey and her wonderful daughter and son, Gaby (welcome to our awesome world), Phil (brother-in-law) and Michael (nephew). Oh, and 90,000 others.

The norm for the Leeds Festival is the quagmire of mud created by the customary rain. Clarty as Susan would call it.

Not this year. We were blessed (definition of ‘blessed’ for this blog is lucky mingled with a dash of gratitude, kissed with a rush of joy!!!!!) with sunshine and dry fields. So sunny, that a covering of sun cream was needed to protect my extremely large forehead. Wonderful music, awesome company, beautiful weather. What more could I ask for? Rhubarb and ginger ice cream, with double cream and toffee toffee sauce.

With all of that, maybe we should become #CreamDuke. Or maybe even #TeamCreamDukeToffeeToffee.

I’ll close the blog on that thought. It’s good to feel happy. In fact, I might have an ice cream.

Take care,

 

Jon

 

The answer is – a) Poor me; b) Pour me; or c) Paw me aka Cleaning out my closet (#Team Duke – the series)

Posted on by View from the ground

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“When you are here and now, sitting totally, not jumping ahead, the miracle has happened. To be in the moment is the miracle.” – Osho

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
― Tupac Shakur

Oh no! A blog about ‘that’ subject again. Noooooooooo! Fear not, whilst I might reflect (but, so does a mirror. There’s a thought – mirror mirror on the wall, what do you see? Well, now that’s a good question. However, the more relevant question is, what do you see? Is it you or is it a clone? Are you a member of the clone roses brigade?), this is all about cleaning out my closet. Mmmm ‘n’ mmmmmmm.

Hello and welcome to my field of dreams, where I perch to observe and smile.

Following some recent blogs, I have been made aware that they may have been misinterpreted, as they appear to have caused the reader to go to Facebook to express their views – not directly, so maybe I’m being over sensitive. I do have a tendency to be a tad sensitive at times. With reason? You decide.

Anyway, the joys of social media also allow me to restate the purpose of the blogs. So, for the record, they are: –
* written from the heart and with love;
* a reflection of the journey that we have been on for the last 14 months and more;
* honest;
* an open expression of love for family and friends; and
* not written for the consumption of others who want to use the intent of the blogs to massage their guilt / ego / ‘beliefs’.

If the #TeamDuke blogs can inspire others in this world filled with ego, bring it on.

So, any deluded, shapeshifting, ‘we’re on a soul journey’ people out there, I suggest you don’t read on. I’m sure you’ll find 144,000 reasons to think this blog is about you. Don’t forget, save the cheerleader, save the world 😜. Although, as the worldly wise Tina Turner once observed from her view from the stage, ‘we don’t need another hero’. Yatta!

Is this playing out the poor me syndrome? The regular reader will know that I’ve mentioned previously ‘poor me’. It’s a concept from the Celestine Prophecy (excellent book) and it’s something I have had pointed at me in the past. You know what, I agree! I realise I could / can feel blood sorry for myself. Hello, I’m a man, that’s what we do best!! (Exclamation mark frenzy creeping in!!!!!!!!). However, the definition below, lifted from t’internet, is a different kind of person, I believe. A special kind of person. I’ll just leave the words, as below, hanging there as we pause for thought.

‘Poor me’s make us feel guilty and responsible for them. They complain and whinge about problems, offering no solutions. They make you feel guilty when you’re in their presence, even though you know there is no reason to feel that way. Everything they say and do puts you in a place where you have to defend against the idea that you’re not doing enough for them.’

No, please be assured, I’m not play the ‘poor me’ now. I’m celebrating the purpose of the blogs and am grateful for the support that the blogs, and #TeamDuke, continue to receive. Thank you, and similarly thank you from my heart for the beautiful feedback and comments received.

So, another blog in the world of #TeamDuke. In the words of M People, we continue to be moving on up through what has been a real year of progress. Our unity just goes from strength to strength, as we work together as a ……….. team. All for one and one for all! As the regular reader will know (note, I keep referring to ‘reader’ not ‘readers’, as I don’t want to make assumptions), our ‘team’ is a collective of all who want to join us, but the core unit expanded this year with the inclusion of the truly wonderful Audrey. Never has a person completely shown unconditional love – in my eyes – than Audrey. And, the magic is, she doesn’t realise it. So many could learn from her.

But one of my own personal learnings through the past few months, as previously written – #TeamDuke raise a glass and toast routine, is to break routine.

I’m a regular user of Facebook and, as had been pointed out, I did like to share posts about my love of red wine. And rose. And beer. And …… I think you get the picture. I do love a drink but, after my rude awakening last year, I started to thing – do I love a drink or does a drink love me? You know the pattern, a hard day at work, you get home and before you know it you’ve poured a glass of wine. It was a routine.

I’d have a glass of wine, maybe a glass and a half. It just happened. I won’t explore how having a glass and a half of shared bottle of wine always resulted in an empty bottle.

Anyway, time to change the routine. I’m certainly not preaching the virtues of not having a glass of wine. But, and I know to most this will sound obvious, but a nice cuppa tea hits the spot perfectly.

I guess I needed an awakening to realise I had to clean out the wine drinking closet and become me. Glass of wine? Not tonight, I’m have a cuppa. Never night, glass of wine? Don’t mind if I do. As Chicago sang, it’s been a hard habit to break but my new, vibrant, energised, happy, fun, positive (YES, WE GET THE PICTURE!!!! ENOUGH!!) life has opened my eyes. To paraphrase another song, you don’t have to have a drink to have a good time – oh no.

Having said all of the above, I’ve just spend 3 days travelling in and out of the Leeds Festival with Ben (who paid for me 😅) and have been polishing off a couple of drinks before midday. Hypocritical? Nah. Live for the moment, that’s all I’m getting at. It’s been a case of stopping pour me before it became poor me.

Again, as has been written, another welcome addition to #TeamDuke has been our beautiful dog, Ringo. Such a bundle of fun, energy, positivity, and love. When it feels like the weight of the world is falling onto your shoulders, the love of a dog is quite overwhelming (although the sound of him right now pacing and panting because he wants a walk is overwhelming for different reasons). He’s now taken to throw a front leg over me when I’m in bed in the morning to remind me to live in the moment and …….. feel the love. It’s his paw me moment. A damned sight better than poor me or pour me.

Have you chosen your answer to the question in the title?

As so, to close. Cleaning out my closet? As you can tell from this any recent blogs, there has been a lot of cleansing going on for #TeamDuke. A lot of cleaning. The local charity shop will soon benefit from some clothing. There’s still a few copies of the book – These Wings Can Fly. I wrote a blog last year about the 6 degrees of separation. Well I wonder if I, 6 people away from meeting the person who can turn that work of fiction, fabrication, and folly (3 F’s) into a film. I can already see the queue of actors wanting to join in – particularly the actor who plays Captain Obvious in the http://www.hotels.com advertisements in the UK. He would be perfect for the ‘male’ (note, not man) lead. Look the actor up.

I’m afraid some of the books have had to go. 50 Shades Of Purple was a bit of an odd one. I’m not sure I get the channeling of physical energy in the name of been twin souls will appeal to the right minded. Raven Bonkers Or Just Cuckoo is a sad read. Joking apart, I am not making light of mental health issues. As some who has flown in and out of depression for many years, and supported and being their for my daughter who has struggled on a much deeper basis, I know the seriousness of the illness. However, the key is recognising you are ill in the first place. But, with regards to the book title referred to – it helps to know the difference between a raven and a crow.

At that, I will close. As always, I’ve enjoyed writing this blog. I’ll leave you with a final concept I am working on – about how to change myself without changing me. I actually think I’m getting there. Think about it. Some people think they need a whole makeover when it’s just a bit of fine tuning.

I hope you have enjoyed reading these words. If you have, please spread the word. Together is far greater than apart.

 

Jon

A game of clones

Posted on by View from the ground

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‘I’m not ashamed to be me. More than anyone else I know, I love my life and accept myself. What’s wrong with being unique? I am proud of everything that I am and will become.’ – Johnny Weir

‘Family is a unique gift that needs to be appreciated and treasured, even when they’re driving you crazy. As much as they make you mad, interrupt you, annoy you, curse at you, try to control you, these are the people who know you the best and who love you.’ – Jenna Morasca

‘Finding and realising who the unique you is, by yourself, without being distracted by the voices of those filled with self interest and self doubt, is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Through that discovery, your eyes and mind are opened to the incredible possibilities that are available to you.’ – Jon Duke

Uniqueness – ‘the embodiment of unique characteristics; the only specimen of a given kind’ or ‘having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable’ or ‘not typical; unusual’.

Those of us who are old enough will remember a TV programme (yes, my American friends, that is how you spell it 🤣) called Stars In Their Eyes. It was hosted by Matthew Kelly, and contestants would basically be what we call these days a tribute act / impressionist of a famous singer.

So, tonight Matthew I’m going to be Tony Hadley. ‘Thank you for coming home, I’m sorry that the chairs are all worn. I left them here I could have sworn.These are my salad days. Slowly being eaten away. Just another play for today.Oh but I’m proud of you, but I’m proud of you. Nothing left to make me feel small. Luck has left me standing so tall. Gold!’ (Gold – written by Gary Kemp)

I think you get the picture.

Welcome to my view from the ground. It’s been a funny old week. Why Jon? Thank you for asking. Well, it’s the first week back at work after 2 weeks off. I’m lucky, as I enjoy my job and am grateful to work with such a committed group of people. But, it’s hard to recondition to 6 am starts rather than lolloping about in bed until we’re even bothered to get up.

Then there’s things that Ben and Liv are having to deal with, which such an awesome and inspirational son and daughter shouldn’t have to. Imagine, wanting with all your heart to see and speak to a parent (who is ‘alive’) only for said parent to withdraw contact. Apparently, after being ‘guided’ to read my recent blogs and having ‘reflected’, believes she should cease online contact for now. I’m truly saddened that my words are alleged to be the cause. I’m sure you can guess how Ben and Liv feel. I’m trying to work out if this is a control drama or a poor me situation.

I’d like to set the record straight once and for all. I write my blogs from the heart. I write my blogs with the purpose of trying to help others through sharing the journey, yes, journey, that #TeamDuke have been on over the last 14 months – and more to be fair. We’re in a bloody good place now and we want others to be in a similar place of happiness.

Yes, I have been angry at the circumstances that caused us to set sail on this journey but we are bigger (my waist), better, and stronger as a result. Our love for each other is quite unbelievable and we now have Audrey and her wonderful family as part of our group. We are blessed, yes, blessed!, to still be part of the Waller family. What is wrong with that?

Okay, the Dark Side Of The Moonie raised questions. But these were my questions, not from Ben and Liv. And, that’s all they were, questions!

As I said, my blogs are written to help others and, hopefully, put a smile on the reader’s face. I reflect on what I write before I publish it so I stand by every word I’ve written. However, for Ben and Liv to apparently be cast aside by their mother is upsetting and I must question the damaging effect that a person / people around her have had on a woman who was such a wonderfully inspirational mother.

Ok, so what else. Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve watched the reader numbers of the blog grow quite incredibly. I really want to reach out further and would ask if you could share these blogs please. Some are currently been updated ready to be shaped into book 1 – working title now ‘Yes, you can call me Dum’.

As those who know me well, I like to use Facebook – a lot! Sometimes, I will read something that I don’t quite agree with, and sometimes I will respond raising a question to such a post. However, that all it is – a question. I’m not saying the other person is wrong or that I am right. I usually am ………. JOKE! What I don’t intend though is for the writer of the post to be upset and withdraw from a specific Facebook group as a result. We are all entitled to an opinion and we are all unique and should celebrate our uniqueness (well, unless your mind has been bombarded with the warped views of the deluded). So, if I offend anyone by my questioning their posts, sorry. That’s just the unique me.

None of us should be a clone. There are too many people willing to look at someone, read something, be preached to and then hold up a mirror and say ’that’s me, that is’. Really? Is it you or are you a clone? Are you Dolly the sheep? I can hear it now, ‘baa, off he goes!’

Come on world, stand in your own truth. Be you, be unique, and be proud.

And, so, I’d like to finish with some lyrics from a song I heard a couple of days ago. It’s a young Welsh band, Neck Deep, and I found the words quite incredible so I want to share them. I’d recommend looking them up. The new album contains some very personal words.

“Don’t Wait” – Neck Deep (feat. Sam Carter)

“Disrupted they keep dividing

The government is lying

I’m not going to be a Pharisee of this society

Turn off your TV station

That’s not real information

Trying to define the human mind

It’s like puppetry

And they’ve got you by your strings

Playing God for money

A sorry sad charade

You can see right through it

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

Suspend your disbelief

Are you paying close attention

If you blink than you might miss their tricks and their deception

Destruct and disobey their laws

They say cause all the world is dark

And if you choose to read the news

Than you must question everything

And they’ve got you on your knees

They’ve got your milk and honey

And then we put them on the parade

And celebrate what’s coming

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

No path
 No grave 
No justice
 No peace
 The deep parade
 The truth will set you free
 No path 
No grave 
No justice 
No peace

Dig deep and see

The government is lying

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

No path
 No grave
 No justice
 No peace

The deep parade

The truth will set you free

No path
 No grave
 No justice
 No peace

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?”

 

I just love it. Take care and, remember, be unique. It’s not a game of clones.

 

Jon

 

 

 

Somebody told me to be Mr (always look on the) Brightside (of life)

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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‘Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So, we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candour.’ – Tom Hanks

‘Half full?’; ‘Half empty?’. Which are you? Or how about, a bottomless refill kind of person? That’s something to aspire to.

‘Some things in life are bad. They can really make you mad. Other things just make you swear and curse. When you’re chewing on life’s gristle. Don’t grumble, give a whistle. And this’ll help things turn out for the best… And…always look on the bright side of life… Always look on the light side of life.’ – the word according to Monty Python.

What has possessed me? Let’s see as we wind our way to find out quite what the latest View From The Ground looks like.

I receive daily motivational quotes. Most, to be honest, are no better than the Christmas Cracker jokes from the local Pound / Dollar / Euro, and so on, shop. However, I could really resonate with today’s – “Don’t we love the negatives!!!!! No one puts up a great sign ‘Beware a nice dog’”. Just let that hang like a 3 week old celebration balloon from the garden gate for a minute.

Maybe we should get that sign for Ringo. Yes, he barks. But so does Audrey (joke!). She yaps (JOKE!!). But, he is a rather nice dog. Just ask the local take away delivery man. Ringo has helped his sprinting ability – from the front door of the house to the car in 5 seconds.

It’s a funny old world. No, really, it is. A society governed by laws allows the lawless the ability to do what they want whilst the law abiding get the law thrown at them at every opportunity. Surely, that’s fun. No??? Okay, I get it. You’ve had a bad day.

Joking apart, I do worry at some of the lunacy that seems to go on. We’ve just had an example locally of the lawless doing what they want, when a growing group of ‘travellers’ took up residency on some privately owned sports fields. For a week, they used the fields at their will, causing damage to the sports pitches, using trees for toilets, the dogs doing their stuff where ever. Our ineffectual legal system allowed them to do what they wanted, until at last a notice to leave did the job and off they have travelled to their next illegal parking place. If you see them, can you tell them they left their rubbish and toilet remains behind.

Maybe it’s time for me to remember to look on the bright side. Well, that’s what somebody told me.

Well, we’re all vulnerable to slip into having a good old moan. But, I’m slowly learning to ensure that doesn’t become the norm – just an occasional slip. But, sometimes, an occasional slip is quite nice.

Anyway, just imagine if, rather than half full or half empty, we could all be refillable? Well, think about it. We can! Every day is a new start. Another opportunity to punch the air, or the cat (NO!!!!). Punch the air and celebrate, we’re alive. That’s definitely a refillable moment. We can start anew and just get on with the day. If the news of yesterday was so annoying, don’t let it be the news of today. Focus on what you can effect. And that starts with you.

Whoops, sorry, I’ve gone all preachy. Actually, I haven’t. I’m talking to myself. Yes, somebody told me I’m not always mister bright side. Now, that’s a bit of a killer but I am only human. For reasons unknown, some mornings I forget to smile like I mean it.

But, joking apart, this is a routine I have to undergo every day, to ensure I give me the best opportunity to make sure it’s the best day possible. Not only for me but for #TeamDuke and everyone I encounter during the course of the day.

And, perhaps, this is a routine a lot of us need to go through.  Just think about it, if we see ourselves as refillable rather than half empty or half full, or half broken, or whatever, what a great chance we have of positively impacting someone else. I previous wrote a blog about the effect we can have by having a positive interaction with someone else, for them to then do the same, and that person to do it as well, and so on. The 1 5 10 effect. One person soon grows to five, which grows to ten and then one hundred etc. We can all make a difference.

I can hear the question, but what difference does it make? Well, try it. Try it now? How soon is now? You’ll get nowhere fast if you don’t try.

So, the sermon today is concluded with another quick burst of ‘always look on the bright side of life’. As people say, it’s not a rehearsal, so let’s enjoy it. Yes, we’ll make some mistakes and, yes, we don’t need to follow the auto cue (unlike Mr. Trump).

But, live, laugh, love, and refill.

 

Jon

 

 

 

 

Without us we are nothing

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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“Thousands of candles can be lighted from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.” – Buddha

“Human greatness does not lie in wealth or power, but in character and goodness. People are just people, and all people have faults and shortcomings, but all of us are born with a basic goodness.” – Anne Frank

Name 5 people you would invite to dinner. Only 5? Do they have to be alive? (only if you really are going to invite them) And so the deep thought begins. Who would you invite?

Welcome to my perch amongst the undergrowth as I look, with admiration, at the sky. Another random launch into a blog? It’s just one of a series of questions posed at a rather wonderful meal earlier in the week. But it’s a question that really did make me think. Do you invite family / friends? Celebrities? Sports personalities? Beautiful women? World leaders and philosophers? How about homeless people, or lonely people? I bet very few people think that deeply.

I’m lucky in that I get to eat with 5 wonderful people regularly. Maybe not all at the same time. Sometimes, not always in the same room. But, it’s 5 wonderful people.

“Come together as a team to achieve a common goal” = Team. Simple really. But, what am I talking about? Thanks for the question. Here’s the answer.

I guess I’ve focussed on #TeamDuke rather a lot this year. The collective of #TeamDuke started as me, Ben, and Liv, as we rose like a Phoenix from the scorched pit in which we were sheltering. Dramatic, eh?

However, #TeamDuke is so much more than the 3 of us and it certainly isn’t an exclusive club. Anything but to be honest. I now view #TeamDuke as a name for the hope that I believe we can give others through the blogs about our growth to where we are now.

And, along the way, #TeamDuke, as in the collective, has grown and what a joy that has been. The previous blogs have documented our growth but, again, #TeamDuke is not exclusive. The only qualifying criteria is to have an open heart.

So, here we are, already 7 1/2 months into 2017 and what have we achieved? Against a backdrop of world madness, I think we have come a long way but in reality the course of our path has only started.

This year started with the specific objective of making it a brilliant year, certainly better than last year. So far, so good. Through it being a brilliant year that has allowed us to focus better on what we have and on all of those wonderful mindfulness learnings discussed in the last blog – Always On My Mindful aka It’s Not A Sin. Through that, I am keen that we reach out and share our enjoyment of life, our fun, and our gratitude for where we are in the hope of lifting others to a better place.

I found the following anonymous quote this morning ‘Family is anyone who loves you unconditionally’. It really hit me as summing up everything I believe in 7 words. The dictionary definition of family talks about parents and children, blood relatives etc. Well, in my humble opinion, that is complete hogwash. Apart from it misses out on adoption, fostering etc, it completely misses the wider context of family. For me, family are those that are there for you, and who you are there for, unconditionally. Those that are there for you, and that you are there for, no matter who at.

And, that is how #TeamDuke has grown as a collective. A group of unconditionally connected people. A group who also want to reach out to be there for those in their hour of need. But also to be there to celebrate the good and the great.

This is why I see #TeamDuke as a badge. Not actually a badge of honour. A badge of friendship and family.

It’s interesting that since Audrey graced my life / our lives a splint ‘#’ has formed – #TeamDurk – as our families connect. But, let’s not forget the rest of the Duke, Ashby, Kirk, Waller, Smith, Ramsden, etc who have and are gracing our lives. And all of the wonderful friends who have touched our lives and being there to provide strength, love and unity.

The kindness that has been shown has been overwhelming and life affirming and it is my mission to show my gratitude by being there for others in whatever shape or form that is needed.

Without us #TeamDuke is nothing. Without you, we are nothing. With us, we can and will be awesome. Let’s live life like it’s the first day of our lives. Let’s live life likes it’s the best day of our lives. It is, because it’s today. Don’t forget – “What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favourite day,” said Pooh.

Thanks, again, for taking time to share in our world. We love it. Everyday (even the rubbish ones, because we have each other).

 

Jon

Always on my mindful aka it’s not a sin

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.” – Buddha

“What day is it?” asked Pooh. “It’s today,” squeaked Piglet. “My favourite day,” said Pooh. – AA Milne.

“Mindfulness is simply being aware of what is happening right now without wishing it were different; enjoying the pleasant without holding on when it changes (which it will); being with the unpleasant without fearing it will always be this way (which it won’t).” – James Baraz

Throw those curtains wide, sang Guy Garvey, one day like this a year would see me right. Well, I’d quite like a day like this every day. Is today that good? As Pooh said, today is my favourite day.

Hello again. A few days break from the corporate world and the words are flowing. The Dark Side Of The Moonie blog reaction was rather overwhelming. It was based on a subject that has caused me some concern for a while and I’m glad I managed to get the blog completed. Thank you for your support. Anyway, that was then and this is now. It’s all a matter of ABC (an 80s song reference).

What’s so good about today? Well, it’s good because it’s Something Just Like This (a recent blog reference).

Okay, let’s crack on with the blog. Thanks for joining me on this latest View From The Ground. I thought I might be distracted as serious words have started on a Book 2. Book 2? What about Book 1? Was that These Wings Can Fly? Noooooo! As the the main author found her crow like wings and flew off in search of the Fifth Dimension (not a boy band reference), that book is confined to history as one of the greatest books of fiction ever written (apart from my bit). If you want a copy, let me know. Any money raised through the sale of the books will be donated to an appropriate charity.

I have several boxes of the book to off-load as the flown crow left them behind in her haste to convert to Archangel status before becoming an end of year celebrity by featuring on the police missing list. If you see her, perhaps mention the books might be useful in the coming colder weather to light the cult (duly spellchecked) camp fires. At the same time, let her know Ben and Liv say ‘hi’. They’re her son and daughter. I think she’s forgotten. She’ll be with a rather tall and glum looking fella. I won’t speak on behalf of his wonderful family. I’m proud to know his wife and sons and her friends. Truly awesome people.

And, before anyone says ‘ooo, that all sounds a bit harsh’, don’t worry, it’s my bizarre sense of humour. I’m just throwing back the curtains and embracing another awesome day in the world of #TeamDuke. I’m in the middle of a 2 week break from work and am loving every day of it. Lots of time with Ben, Liv and Audrey. Lots of walking the dogs. Lots of laughs. Lots of hugs. Lots of living in the moment. Bliss! And, that’s just it, as Buddha said, concentrate the mind on the present moment.

My above words are not dwelling in the past. I have learned to flip the past anger into present humour. And that brings me back to Book 2 – now provisionally titled ‘And so, the door closed. Archangel De-light’. It’s a fictional work, and I’m having fun writing it. Let’s just say, it’s a great release for my unique look on life.

Book 1? That’s going to be a rewrite of the #TeamDuke blogs, in the hope of providing hope, humour, and humility. Title – You Can Call Me Dummy. Maybe? Work that one out. I guess I have circa 50,000 words to work on so watch this space. I just need to become more mindful rather than having a mind full.

Which, miraculously brings me on to topic for this latest blog (spell check just suggested lasagna, which reminds me I need some bread).

Mindfulness – ‘the psychological process of bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment, which can be developed through the practice of meditation and other training. The term “mindfulness” is a translation of the Pali term sati, which is a significant element of Buddhist traditions. In Buddhist teachings, mindfulness is utilised to develop self-knowledge and wisdom that gradually lead to what is described as enlightenment or the complete freedom from suffering.’

Okay, that’s the intelligent description of mindfulness. However, the key bit for me is ‘bringing one’s attention to experiences occurring in the present moment.’

And it’s the focussing on the present moment that is helping to project #TeamDuke forwards.

I guess a lot of the latter half of 2016 was spent dwelling on the past, almost trying to reach backwards and pull forwards all of the good memories in the hope that they could return. Does that make sense?

However, events had occurred which meant closing that book, and allowing a new book to start writing itself.

In reality, and this is where mindfulness has really helped, I am now understanding the need to just focus on today and by doing that, it can truly be my favourite day. Think about it. Try waking up and just focussing on that exact moment. The first positive is – you woke up!

As those who have read previous blogs will know, we now have a dog – Ringo. He was poorly recently, so I let him sleep with me. He’s well again but, he still sleeps with me. However, he is great for practicing mindfulness because the minute he sees I’m awake, he wants a hug, to be stroked, and to be loved. That’s it. No worries about work, money, news, traffic etc. His only thought is that present moment. Bang! Mindfulness captured on 4 legs.

I’ve already written about my walks with Ringo but, again, it’s mindfulness personified – walk, breathe in the fresh air, listen to the birds, look at the greenery and flowers, enjoy the exercise. Bang! Mindfulness on the end of an extendable lead.

Mindfulness is a daily challenge, so I’m not saying it’s easy. Of course my mind / our minds drift backwards but I that’s becoming more manageable. Of course, the wee Scottish person in my life, Audrey, helps more that she realises. Audrey is a gem beyond words. As I’ve told her, she captures unconditional love in action without trying. She’s there for me, and for Ben and Liv. That’s whilst been an awesome mum to Eilidh and Liam. A true blessing that we are together to enjoy today. Tomorrow? When today is my / our favourite day I / we don’t need to think about tomorrow.

So, there you have in. Always being mindful isn’t a sin. Quite the opposite, it’s the thing!

Let’s follow Pooh and Piglet and make sure we make today our favourite day. Live, laugh, love. Breathe in the joy, look at the beauty, and listen to the magic. It’s the only way.

Throw those curtains wide, today being my favourite day will see me right.

 

Jon

 

 

 

 

Dark side of the moonie

Posted on by View from the ground

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Welcome to a View From The Ground. Yes, another blog but, this time, it’s a slightly left of centre look at a subject which has been high in my thinking for some time. Why? Thank you for asking. Mainly because the subject is something which, in my humble opinion, needs to be looked at.

I’ve been intrigued by spirituality for some time. Partly because I regard myself as a spiritual person but equally because of the various forms it appears to manifest itself into.

So, to start with, let’s look at the definition of spirituality – ‘the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things.’

I think that is very conclusive. However, I then looked at Wikipedia and I want to share some words from their page on spirituality: –

‘Traditionally, spirituality refers to a religious process of re-formation which “aims to recover the original shape of man,” oriented at “the image of God” as exemplified by the founders and sacred texts of the religions of the world. In modern times the emphasis is on subjective experience of a sacred dimension and the “deepest values and meanings by which people live,” often in a context separate from organised religious institution. Modern spirituality typically includes a belief in a supernatural (beyond the known and observable) realm, personal growth, a quest for an ultimate/sacred meaning, religious experience, or an encounter with one’s own “inner dimension.”
The meaning of spirituality has developed and expanded over time, and various connotations can be found alongside each other. The term “spirituality” originally developed within early Christianity, referring to a life oriented toward the Holy Spirit. During late medieval times the meaning broadened to include mental aspects of life, while in modern times the term both spread to other religious traditions and broadened to refer to a wider range of experience, including a range of esoteric traditions.’

I hope I’ve not bored you. I just thought the above text was useful to put into context the traditional definition of spirituality versus a modern, I think, more self absorbing definition.

Now, let me set things straight. My words are just that – mine. This is not a view about any religion. I wouldn’t be so insulting to comment on anyone’s religious beliefs. I guess I’m looking at how a more extreme, radical take on spirituality could be taking a stranglehold on something which is meant to be for the good of all.

A sweeping statement? Maybe, but I believe I have experienced enough to get hold of a brush and sweep away.

I’m not into where badges as it were, but when I look at the way I try and live my life – through love, helping others before myself (unless the oxygen mask drops down on a plane – then I follow the pre-flight instructions), not basing my life around material things (any more), and trying to spread positivity – some would pin the spiritual badge on me. And that’s just fine.

There are always turning points in life and I had one a few years ago when I was encouraged – positively – to re-evaluate the way I looked at life. It was a positive turning point.

For some time, it all developed quite nicely. However, I then started to see – in a few others, one of whom you could say I was rather close to – a darker, more ego lead version of what they still claimed was spirituality. Let me expand (not just my stomach).

I’m not sure how many people have come across the ‘significance’ of the number 144,000. Again, to many, this is just another innocent connection into spirituality. I would have to say, I was one of that many. It seemed like a number, or at least 144, appeared randomly. I got almost obsessed – I’d look at the clock – 1.44 pm; a score at rugby – 14 4; etc. Of course, I didn’t obsess at every other time I saw on the clock or every other rugby score. Yes, I was hooked.

It took a significant ‘jolt’ to shake me into seeing this focus on 144,000 was an obsession.

I’ve been doing a little digging into the meaning of 144,000. Here’s one, in that it is a number one that represents ‘either descendants of Jacob (also called Israel in the Bible) or others to whom God has given a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world’.

Interesting! Let’s just repeat that – a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world.

However, let us not forget that 144,000 is mentioned in the Book Of Revelations. The following are not my words but something else that I have found on-line. The Book Of Revelations predicts and forecasts ‘the incarnation and arrival of 144,000 lightworkers who will save earth from the “forces of darkness” during the end times of the kali yuga. Most of the 144,000 lightworkers are now here and in the process of “waking up” to their divine purpose and mission on earth. The majority of the 144,000 are advanced incarnated starseeds from more advanced planets, although some of the 144,000 are advanced local souls of earth. Most of the 144,000 are now in the process of “waking up” and coming out of their long mental and spiritual hibernation, slowly but surely realising that they are here to assist in the great transformation of earth.’

Now, if you are still reading this, I don’t know about you but most of that reads like another language. However, the key part for me was ‘they are here to assist in the great transformation of earth’.

So, straight away, I have a conflict in my mind – are the 144,000 special ones here to have a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world? Or are they here to assist in the great transformation of earth?

Maybe it’s all down to your particular leaning. Or, is it all down to what fits with your own ego? Just throwing that question out there.

Call me naive – go on. ‘Jon – you’re naive’. Thank you. Anyway, as I’ve said earlier, I see spirituality as something which is about looking inwards at yourself to then be able to look outwards to help others. It’s about not being materialistic but about concentrating on supporting a greater good.

So, where does this ‘greater destiny’ fit in?

So, please let me look at this ‘greater destiny’ malarkey. I have been closely connected with someone who believed that they were 1 of the 144,000 and they believed they were in contact with others who regarded themselves as 1 of the 144,000. I seem to remember that 2 of said group felt that they sat at a table with others and in fact I think a group of 12 connected together. Now, thankfully, I wasn’t 1 of the 12 otherwise I would now be hearing screams of ‘Judas!’

Be it my not being one of the privileged or maybe it was my growing scepticism of this collective of chosen ones, but even last year I started to wonder what the mission was this ‘higher order’. Believe me, it was the latter. The idea of sitting around a table believing that I am akin to being one of the disciples is bordering on laughable. As an over weight, over aged, gruff Yorkshireman, I’m very happy in my earthly skin thank you very much. The only hot air I blast out follows a good old Indian meal.

Well, as the 2 referred to above decided that their ‘greater destiny’ was so great that they abandoned life as we know it – i.e. walked away from family, friends (well, one of them had friends), but more importantly, their children, you must question this extreme take on spirituality. Does abandonment of your children and responsibilities fall into the definition of being ‘here to assist in the great transformation of earth’? Let me leave that question hanging there.

Sticking to the debate over whether the 144,000 special ones are here to have a superior destiny with a distinct role at the time of the end of the world or here to assist in the great transformation of earth, does that bring the requirement to operate under a new name – as an Archangel?

I love it, and I can feel a book coming – Archangel Delight.

Anyway, in my plight to truly understand this subject, a quick look at the various definitions of Archangel was, let’s say, insightful. These words I found particularly interesting – ‘Archangel is a classification of angels who have great rank and power.  Apparently, there are three archangels: Michael, Gabriel, and Lucifer.’

I kid you not when I say that I have seen a communication from 1 of the said 2, signed off as Archangel Michael. I’ll just leave that thought there, with a question – is this quest for the greater good or is this a misguided belief that when the predicted hell reigns on Earth, he with wings and she by his side will rise above the hell and land back on the ground to take their view and to use their skills to life off the land with the other 139,998 life lottery ticket winners.

Don’t worry by the way, I can think of at least 2 predicted world endings that have passed with a whimper – although, when my beloved rugby league team, the mighty Leeds Rhinos were fighting for Super League survival last year it felt like the end of the world.

So, my interest in this extreme form of spirituality has found a group of people who appear to believe that they possibly have a ‘greater destiny’ and an even smaller group who have transformed into Archangels and who, in their higher ‘state’ seem to be gathering a group in their ‘safe’ environment.

Now, I am of an age when I remember a so called group who traded under the banner of the ‘moonies’. For those who don’t know them, the moonies were / are ‘a religious group whose members must obey its rules and teachings completely’.

I am not suggesting anything here, but just throwing it out there. I did have a coffee with a group of moonies in the 80s and was invited to a meeting. Suffice it to say, I’m glad I left it at the coffee – and now drink tea 😱.

The other thinking, at best, is a group of people gathered around an Archangel and partner could be seen as a sect? A sect – ‘a group of people with somewhat different religious beliefs (typically regarded as heretical) from those of a larger group to which they belong.’

As I keep saying, these are just my thoughts as I try to understand this extreme form of spirituality which makes 2 (maybe) normal (maybe) people walk out on their children and, one of them, a family to whom they were a pivotal person. Is this normal spirituality or a dangerous extreme version?

Please be assured that I truly respect everyone has a right to an opinion, a belief, but my concern with this ‘version’ of spirituality has grown. I have seen at first hand it’s damaging effect.

Me? Well, I will keep going on my path. To be a reliable, loving, supportive, unconditional father to a Ben and Liv. To be a loving son, brother, uncle, brother-in-law, friend etc to all of those who mean everything to me. And now, a loving partner to Audrey – the truly awesome soul that I am blessed to have alongside me.

Thank you for reading this. I’m not sure how many people this blog will reach out to but it needed writing. Cathartic in the very least.

 

Jon

Something just like this (a blog without #TeamDuke in the title …….. well……..)

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 …………………………. !!!!!!!!

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

“Every day we have plenty of opportunities to get angry, stressed or offended. But what you’re doing when you indulge these negative emotions is giving something outside yourself power over your happiness. You can choose to not let little things upset you.” – Joel Osteen

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.” – Buddha

3 quotes. 3 quotes! And the blog hasn’t even got wings, let alone started to fly. Wait!!! Sorry!!!! That’s a previous time. Let’s face it, those wings flew some time ago whilst I continue to look up at the world with delight – and, sometimes, concern – rather than down and oblivious.

So, come and sit whilst I navigate you along another beautiful path in the garden of #TeamDuke. Have I been drinking? Noooooo. I’m just a tad philosophical as I work out where this path is taking me for the blog. As ever, I start with an idea and then ramble on from there.

Following the last blog – #TeamDuke raise a glass and toast routine – I’ve been doing more thinking. I know, I do a lot of thinking, particularly over the last couple of years. I guess I’ve gone through a cycle, starting with ‘where am I?’, then ‘do I want to be here?’, moving to ‘how did I get here?’ and ‘what am I going to do?’. Thankfully, this has been followed by ‘how do I move forward?’, then ‘what do I need to do next?’, and getting to ‘how good is this?’.

And that’s just where things feel they are – how good is this? For me, for #TeamDuke, and for #TeamRingo.

It’s a funny old world. Rightly or wrongly – I think the former – I regularly read the news. Or, at least, I read the news that is published. Of course, we are not told everything. But, then, what is everything? The conspiracy theorists would tell us that our minds are being manipulated. I guess there is an element of truth in that. However, if you are to believe he conspiracy theorists, are our minds being manipulated by them? Think about it.

I remember someone I used to be close to and whose opinion I respected (no name needed) telling me she didn’t read the news anymore because she didn’t need to know what was happening in the world and that it shaped peoples’ minds. So, that being the case, what did she do? My belief, now, is that her mind was filled with the warped views and opinions of others (or, actually, other!) and, in essence, not have a mind of her own. So, therefore, became the kind of person she suggested that the news was manipulating the masses to be. Which is the most dangerous? My view, they are equally so. Of course, the news is read by millions. However, one person can bring real problems with their distorted views on family life and life in general.

It is only now that I feel at sufficient enough peace to be able to analyse such things. I hope you don’t mind me sharing this in my blog.

It’s been a funny old week. Poor old Ringo developed a bit of a worrying cough. I moved his cigarettes (JOKE!). I didn’t really move them (JOKE!!). We weren’t sure what the problem was but, so that I could keep any eye on him, I let Ringo sleep with me. Now, if someone had told me a year ago that I’d be sleeping with a dog, I’d have thought – mmmmmmm, life moves on and needs must. However, a 4 legged dog? Is she from Castleford? (JOKE!!!). (For any reader not local to West Yorkshire, that’s a local rugby league reference).

So, yes, sharing a bed with Ringo. Now, when he was not well, that was all good. However, clearly, he now sees this as the norm so, at some point of the night, into my room he trots and he dumps himself on my bed. Don’t tell anyone but it’s quite nice to have him there. For one, he doesn’t have a go at me for snoring.

It’s been a funny old month. It started with going to see Jeff Lynne’s ELO in concert. ELO have been my favourite band since they released Out Of The Blue in the 70’s. I was lucky enough to see them last year. I knew they were playing Hull this year but, due to circumstances beyond my control, I didn’t have the money to get a ticket. So, I’m sure you can imagine my surprise and emotional delight when Audrey announced she had bought tickets and booked a hotel. Stunning. What a woman! (Have you noticed that I’m obsessed with apostrophes. I’m also obsessed with brackets!)!)!)!)!)

Last Saturday was a funny old day (have you noticed I’m obsessed with ‘it’s a funny old …….!!!!!!!)))). A quiet night out (early evening) was arranged for me, Audrey and the awesome Steve and Susan Ramsden. Have I told you what incredible people they are and how they were there for #TeamDuke in our darkest times? Well, they were and I will always be truly grateful for their friendship. You couldn’t meet 2 nicer people (and I include me in that 🤢).

So, picture the scene – 4 ‘mature’ adults, sitting in a bar enjoying 2 for the price of 1 cocktails when we were told that the deal finished in 20 minutes. The picture is below. I love life. I love nights out like that with Audrey, Steve, and Susan. And it was amusing to see Steve being coaxed into a taxi rather than having that ‘one last beer’.

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It’s funny, because, as I have reflected on the blog and read back on some of the previous blogs, if I could have decided where I want my life to be and how I want #TeamDuke to be, I’d have to say it would be something just like this. It’s not filled with financial wealth (quite the opposite!), but it is filled with love, fun, unity, and gratitude. I can’t remember the last time all of those boxes were ticked. It’s filled with honesty, openness, hope, and a willingness to listen to each other about anything and everything. I can’t remember that for a long time. Our house is a home, we are a family (be that #TeamDuke, the Dukes, the Wallers, the Ashbys, and then the friends and so on), and we truly believe in each other and are always there for each other. I don’t need to add any more.

How did we get here? Please read the previous blogs to get an idea. But in addition, we had you the reader, we had each other, and we believed. And through that, we are living and loving a life something just like this.

I hope you enjoyed this latest blog. It would be great if you could spread the word. My dream for the View From The Ground blogs is that they give hope to others. I am nothing special – loud agreement there from many – but who and what I have in my life now is. Honesty, love, and belief.

Have a great day.

 

Jon