FORK IT! THE CHOICE IS YOURS

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.” – George Orwell

“Be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.” – Omar Khayyam

Happy – ‘delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing.’

Fork it! You’re at the point in your world, that a new road must be sought. What do you? Collapse in a heap at the road from which you have been force? Or bravely step onto the new, unknown road ahead. Fork it!

Welcome again to the continued progression of #TeamDuke alternatively recognised as their 2018 rebirth, #TeamDurky.

Yes, given the development of #TeamDuke in 2017, as we prepare for the next year I think it only appropriate, like the good Dr. Who, to gently close the door on the year and to then fling it open for the New Year in our new guise.

As I always say, I write these blogs with a positive heart and with the intention to motive, raise a smile and give some hope. Some blogs hit the right note. The last, Sixteen Minutes To Three, missed the target so apologies for that. It’s a learning and something I will monitor. Perhaps too many blogs (he says whilst writing another). As we get close to the end of the year, I guess they will slow down naturally.

Anyway, thank you for joining me and the team. Lots of talk about Christmas at the moment. How different (hopefully) things look this year. We are hopeful not to be joined by the police this year on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day! Not of our making may I add. Let’s leave it there. I’m sure those responsible will neither be reading this or care how truly damaging their actions were. And, that comment is not restricted to the main characters either. And, before there is any accusations of bitterness or being emotionally damaged, really????? Just think about it.

But, then I’d better be careful what I wish for. Life is good and I’m ever so grateful for that.

This week is a hell of a music week. Between me, Ben, Audrey, Eilidh and Liam we are seeing The Killers, Enter Shikari, Royal Blood, and Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark. If I’m to be honest, I am lucky enough to see all of these bands.

We all love our music – including Liv and Gaby (although, a bit of work is needed about Craig David 😀).

Music is the ‘luxury’ we allow ourselves. No posh meals; extravagant label clothing; £400 million pictures. But, a few belting concerts – yes. I call it creating memories. I look back on my life and some of my best memories revolve around music. And, that is definitely the case this year.

I know I’ve talked about the beauty of music in previous blogs, but it is such a key part of our lives. I guess we all have memories where we can instantly relate a piece of music to it – good memories and not so good. But mainly good. There are some songs that come to the radio and we instantly change to another channel. I can think of a few.

It’s nice that Audrey and I are already creating a playlist when we talk – with songs that have become special to us in our first year together. Songs like Something Just Like This by The Chainsmokers and Coldplay, and Bring Me To Life by Evanescence. Listen to the lyrics. They are effectively my thank you to Audrey for what she means to me. Simple as that.

I know we are lucky to see so many amazing artists and bands, and we are all truly grateful.

But this week has also re-emphasised the strength of #TeamDuke / Durky. With this highs there come the balancing lows which, this time last year, would have sent us into a bit of a spiral. Nothing significant, but our usual reminder of the Poor Me concept in play. However, I am so proud of Ben and Liv in their resilience and strength to rise above the challenges.

So, just fork it. Do you choose the path of being happy, or at least trying to be, or the path of feeling sorry for yourself?

As I hope you know, when #TeamDuke arrived at the fork – without asking to be there – but we chose the road, the path, of being happy. Some days are a challenge but or key wish is to be happy. And to share that happiness.

I think another of our learnings – as I have spoken about before – is to talk. Talk about the good, the bad, and the downright ugly (no, not me!). We get it all out so that we can then celebrate the good, plan how to work through the bad and, when appropriate, hope the mirror up to the ugly.

Now, when I say ‘hold the mirror up to the ugly’ I don’t say that with humour. However, sometimes the best way to deal with someone who creates an ugly situation is to hold the mirror up, to let them see what is reflected back at them.

Just think about it. Rather than reacting with anger, to respond by responding by allowing the source of the ‘ugly’ to see what their actions or comments look like. Let them stand in your shoes. Let them reflect on the effects of their actions and, hopefully, see why those actions are wrong.

Ultimately, the choice is theirs and I would hope they would choose to fork it and do the right thing.

Thankfully the good outweighs the bad and the ugly by a long way. We celebrate everyday having each other. We are grateful for the opportunity that life has given us. We are thankful to wake up every morning and for being us.

So, as the songs go: –

Thank you for the music
We are family
You’ve got a friend
Talk talk
Something just like this
Love is all around us
I wish it could be Christmas every day

Now, that last one is a lead into what will be the last blog ………………. of the year. Or maybe, who knows?

Anyway, that’s due mid-December. So watch out for #TeamDurky; feeling perky, acting quirky and looking forward to turkey (with vegetarian options available).

Take care and don’t forget – when you have to make that choice – FORK IT!

 

Jon

 

Sing for the moment

Posted on by View from the ground

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“How can you see into my eyes like open doors? Leading you down, into my core. Where I’ve become so numb, without a soul. My spirit’s sleeping somewhere cold. Until you find it there, and lead it, back, home.” – excerpt from Bring Me To Life, Evanescence.

Think of a significant time in your life and, more often than not, a song or a piece of music can be associated with it. The magic of music. There are many times when I hear a song and it invokes a memory, and then there are other times when I think of a memory and it invokes the sound of a song.

And, so we start to rummage through another bag of words in the shopping trolley full of #TeamDuke goodies.

You will have noticed, I hope (if you’ve read previous blogs) I like to plough the fields and scatter the occasional seeds of songs from the past. Obsessed in music? Well it’s better than being lost in music. Although, don’t get caught in a trap as there will be no turning back and you, will then, be lost in music.

What in the name of Sister Sledge am I on about?

For the discerner ‘View From The Ground’ blog reader (note, the use of singular), you will have noticed a music connection with a lot of the recent ramblings that have been posted – in no specific order: –

Thinking back over the years with Ben and Liv, there are specific songs, or CDs, that invoke wonderful memories. For many, many years, Ben came with me to pick up our Friday night take away and 2 CDs stick in my mind – by Evanescence and Eminem. We listened to them endlessly – I can even pick certain parts of the journey – and that feeling of complete contentment – after all of these years (don’t get me wrong, Ben still comes with me for the take away when he’s at home. We just walk, talk, and take Ringo now as I we have local take away now). But, the power of music is incredible.

I know there are certain songs that, if we allow it, can bring through certain sad memories. It’s up to us whether we want to allow that. For some, it can be cathartic. For some, it may be an opportunity to release emotion and surely that can be good. However, I choose music as a route to remember happy events; to think about those who are special in my life; that just make me smile. I’ve now got a ‘Sing for the moment’ playlist. Maybe a compilation album to accompany the book.

But, it’s those specific songs that are just so perfect. I always remember a couple of years ago when Ben put a CD together for me for my birthday. A CD where all of the songs had a meaning. Bands such as Sum 41 – the first gig I took Ben to when he was 8 years old. He’s 23 now and been to over 100 gigs and 25+ festivals. There was Fire by Kasabian – that song brings back incredible memories of a Leeds Festival from a few years ago. Me and Ben, bouncing around in wellies like nothing else mattered. Magic! And, then there’s the song that reduced me to tears Hero by Foo Fighters. I’ll say no more.

And then there’s songs that always make me think of Liv. I remember the first time Liv saw Green Day live – at Wembley stadium. The look on her face when they hit the stage to 21st Century Breakdown. It will stay with me. Pure excitement.

Liv and I have done some concerts together. The Fray in Manchester. Liv has always said she feels uncomfortable in crowds and yet, for The Fray she pushed us towards the front. It’s the power of being able to escape; to feel part of something that music can bring. That a great band / artist can bring.

Music can also help with those ‘dark’ moments. Last year, Liv and I spent a lot of time in the car together and Biffy Clyro were a regular on the CD selection. The song ‘Medicine’ was played over and over again as we sang our hearts out. Some quite appropriate lyrics for the occasion – ‘I shouldn’t waste my time. Having you around. What was up’s gone down. You take your road and I’ll take mine. I was done talking but I still couldn’t sleep’. The singing was a real help, even though it was tinged with tears at times. No for me, for Liv and how she was at that time. We still sing it but, now, there’s a sparkle.

The music runs through us like blood. It’s very rare that there isn’t music being played. And, when the mood takes us, we sing for the moment.

And, since Audrey stepped on board #TeamDuke, more musical memories have been created.

I heard ‘Something just like this’ by Chainsmokers and Coldplay and I could immediately relate it to me and Audrey and what our relationship represented. I messaged Audrey about the song and I was overwhelmed by the underwhelming response. How could “Where do you wanna go. How much do you wanna risk? I’m not looking for somebody with some superhuman gifts. Some superhero, Some fairytale bliss. Just something I can turn to. Somebody I can kiss. I want something just like this.” miss the spot.

But, the lightbulb moment struck and the same realisation swept in that struck me. What we have is just perfect ……….. for us. We’re perfectly matched in every way. What we have is special but, to someone else, it maybe looks like a case of ‘what’s all the fuss about’. And that’s just the point and so it us with all beautiful relationships – there’s no superhero involved but it’s perfect for it to be something just like this.

As #TeamDuke we have been blessed to enjoy some wonderful gigs and Festivals. Incredible memories have been created which can never be taken away. Those moments of balling out classic songs – Basket Case – Green Day; Gold – Tony Hadley (Spandau Ballet); Don’t You Want Me – Human League; Mr Blue Sky, Telephone Line, Turn To Stone, etc – ELO; Wonderwall – Liam Gallagher; Fire – Kasabian; sing For The Moment – Eminem; Heaven – Psychedelic Furs. The list could go on. The other awesome bands. I think 70+ bands seen so far this year. So lucky.

One highlight in amongst was Green Day, when they sang Still Breathing. This is a song that became the #TeamDuke anthem at the start of the year – ‘’Cause I’m still breathing. ‘Cause I’m still breathing on my own. My head’s above the rain and roses. Making my way away. ‘Cause I’m still breathing. ‘Cause I’m still breathing on my own. My head’s above the rain and roses. Making my way, away’ (Green Day). Love it!

Music and the importance of singing for the moment, getting lost in that music. It can never be under estimated. I have imprinted on my mind such stunning memories. I also have songs that I can listen to which can invoke great memories.

I hope it is the same for you. I hope this blog gives the opportunity to sit back and think about, and then to find that song and you can then just drift away, for the moment.

 

And, so there we have it. Time to the close another trip with the good people onboard the #TeamDuke ship. Or, have we being doing the equivalent of runnin’ down the avenue? If we have, I hope the sun has being shining brightly (sorry, had to close with a final song reference).

Strangely, during a recent morning walk with Ringo, I managed to change the title of the planned book 3 times. I think I have now landed where I want to be, which, ironically (and I love a bit of irny bru), is right back with a previous title idea. Watch this space. I am kind of buzzing about the book process. Having got the title locked in, that has lead on to a few structural changes. One thing I would love to do is use some of the wonderful comments about the #TeamDuke blogs. Of course, I will need permission to use them – so, if you get a request through, please be kind 😀.

Take care in these days of world leaders name calling. Bizarre. Maybe they need to just sit down and put on some good music.

For now,

 

Jon

And I’ve been sleeping like a dog (#TeamDuke move on from yesterday)

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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Have you been losing sleep? Have you been losing sleep over where the term ‘blog’ originates from? No? Me neither, however it dates back to the 1990s and is an abbreviation of weblog. Sleep well my friends.

Sleep? A state of rest where, before descending into that beautiful state of nothing, many wonder whether they will experience a dream.

Dream? ‘A state of mind in which someone is or seems to be unaware of their immediate surroundings.’

‘Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment.’ – Buddha

‘Yesterday is but today’s memory, and tomorrow is today’s dream.’ – Khalil Gibran

And, there you have it in 110 words, a pretty amazing start to the latest View From The Ground blog …………… not! But then, my dream is to ensure no blog starts identically to a previous one. Yes, there’s a couple of quotes. Yes, it’s already rambling more that an over excited hiker.

However, it’s different and, for once, it has an indirectly directly indirect link to the title of the blog – sleep!

How can a blog be formed out of talking about sleep? Interesting question, so bear with me.

From the offset of the journey for #TeamDuke, the context of sleep has taken on a different meaning. You read the studies about the importance of uninterrupted sleep. About sleep been important for the mind and body. So on and so forth.

What the studies don’t seem to analyse is when does sleep take on less importance. When do you have to be available to those endless waking hours? When do you learn that it’s not ‘all about me?’.

And, of course, the answer is when some else’s waking challenges outweigh your need for sleep. When someone needs to talk.

I learned, very quickly, last year about the importance of talking. And, I guess, although not linked to the title – maybe I should have called it ‘Help’ – that’s a bit of a theme I want to explore – talking.

I wrote a blog a while ago – ‘Talk Talk – its my life with #TeamDuke – so I know it’s a subject already trodden. However, as events unfold I want to return to the importance of being honest through talking and, hopefully, through the blog, can inspire someone who has been a closed book to open up and trill like a bird.

As previous readers know, my dream, through sharing some very personal experiences in the #TeamDuke blogs, is to inspire others to take action and to understand there is hope. And, there is always hope.

I believe some people read my words and think I’m having a meltdown; that I’m bitter towards the root cause of the starting point of the #TeamDuke; that my emotional state is of concern. I use the expression ‘he protesteth too much’ a lot and it would be a fair challenge to suggest this applies here. However, it couldn’t be further from the truth. There’s no doubt, last year, when the darkness still hung over the house, I was angry. I was upset. And, I was on meds. Worse, though, is the effect it all had on Ben and Liv. You can’t imagine! But, during our growth this year, under the banner of #TeamDuke life is good thank you very much.

So, any reference to the past is just that, a reference. It might be a reference with a tongue firmly in the cheek – that’s just me playing.

I’ve just had to read back into the blog to remind myself what I am talking about and, ironically, it’s about talking. In Britain, I believe, we are too willing to bottle things up. Certainly men are. Talk? It’s not what men do. Not real men. Real men talk about women, and sport, and flatulence (is that how you spell it?) and beer! No, my friend, real men talk and listen and are open and are proud of who they are.

So, getting right back to the subject – when someone wants to talk, the need, the real need, is not for sleep but it’s to make sure that person knows you want to listen.

This is something me, Ben, and Liv have learned and something we practice. There have been times when my bedroom door would creek open for me to be joined by Ben or Liv. They need to talk! I need, no I want, to listen. It has been so important for us all to listen. And, now, there’s Audrey. Always, unconditionally, willing to listen. Of course, my challenge is ensuring that Audrey also talks. We all have the need to talk – don’t we?

So, the morale is – speak up and don’t hold back. By doing so, it will help you to forget about yesterday, to enjoy today, and to plan for tomorrow. And to, over time, let it be.

Then, of course, there are those nights when sleep is available to you and it wants to embrace you. But, our mind is working overtime. Strangely enough, for me, the cure came when I stepped into helping Ringo cure from a rather horrific ear infection. I decided to let him sleep in my room so I could monitor him. Great idea at the time. However, not being an expert in the mind of a dog, I did not appreciate the routine that would be built into Ringo’s thinking so, weeks later, guess who thunders upstairs when I say I’m going to bed? Audrey?????? If only. She’s so mini Ringo sweeps her out of the way when she’s here, in his excitement to claim his spot on the bed. Well, actually, just to claim the bed.

And, the wonderful thing is, since Ringo has been joining me on the bed, I really have been sleeping like a dog. Blissful, restful sleep (apart from last night, when my ageing bladder wound me up). He’s very calming and always willing for a morning hug without wanting a coffee (😀). Who’d have thought it.

So, at that happy point, I will bring another blog to a random end. I hope, at the very least, these words have caused a smile, so thought and, hopefully, you won’t be thinking that was a minute of your time to that you’ll never get back.

 

Jon

 

 

#TeamDuke, the journey aka don’t stop believing

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Let’s make this the best year yet” – Me and then Ben, and then Liv!!!! – 01 January 2017 and beyond.

Hold on to that feeling, indeed.

Welcome to #TeamDuke taking a view from the 2017 ground to date. This follows on from the latest blog. Well, I wouldn’t call it a blog. ‘Ben speaks’ was so much more. Truly heartfelt words which, in reality, should never have needed to be written.

“Blood makes you related. Loyalty makes you family”.

You know what, I’ve started nearly all of this year’s blogs with a quote. So, let’s shake it up.

“Where do animals go when their tails fall off? ………………………. The retail store”

Perhaps, I’ll stick to the quotes.

As those close to me, I like to reflect. In fact, anyone who has the misfortune to enter into any kind of conversation with me will know I like to reflect. Perhaps I should do a blog – Mirror Man. Hold that thought.

But, for a whole host of reasons, I have been reflecting on 2017, and unlike my reflection in the mirror, it made me smile.

Strangely enough, Ben was commenting about how good things are and how we are now at a point where, if we look back over, let’s say, a year, we can see development. We are also at a place of enjoying the day and looking forward. Such words are music to my ears and emphasised why it is important that you don’t stop believing and that you certainly should hold on to that feeling.

I know I have already charted the course of #TeamDuke through the waters of the year so far. But, in reflecting through my rear view mirror, it has been so heart lifting to understand the changes that have occurred. And through that understanding, then to be able to see clearly through the windscreen to the road ahead. There’s no doubt that there will be unexpected turns in the road, a few unwanted bumps. But, I feel we can see where we are going as we head forwards.

From a person perspective, to see how Ben and Liv have grown throughout the year. To see how they have been strong, for themselves, for each other, for us as #TeamDuke, and for others when they falter.

To see Ben, with a new job which has given him confidence in himself and gives him real opportunity to develop in a media related role. I’m so proud of him. As he starts a relationship with the wonderful Gaby. He’s a tower of strength and a beacon of love. Always there for others, always there for a chat, always there with that twinkle in his eye as he lines up the latest wind up. There’s no doubt that the year has brought its challenges for Ben, but he’s faced them and won. Ben brings a smile into any room!

And, then there’s Liv and her development. Getting ready to relaunch her university life. The way that Liv has grown throughout the year is an inspiration to anyone. Her bounce back ability has been incredible. I have provided a backdrop of the challenges that Liv has faced – but have wanted to maintain privacy on the true pain she has suffered – but this blog is a celebration of where we are now. Liv has been surrounded by some awesome friends and she has shown incredible strength and maturity and I am proud of her.

Ben and Liv have been my inspiration and light through this journey that we have been on. There’s no doubt I have lost my way on occasion, but Ben and Liv have taken my hand to bring me back onto the right path.

And then there has been the welcoming of Audrey into #TeamDuke. I know I have said it before, but Audrey wears the term ‘unconditional love’ like an invisible badge. She’s there for everyone and anyone who needs her. A real quality of Audrey is that she doesn’t know how special she is – and fen though I try to remind her every day. I am blessed – yes, blessed – to have her in my life. And #TeamDuke is all the better for her been with us (not forgetting her priorities are Eilidh and Liam).

I’ve already written about our animal house. The house bossed by a cat – Zeekee – and cared for by a dog – Ringo. When I say cared for, I mean the ‘spiritual’ care that only an animal could bring.

When one of us is getting wound up, upset, or angry about something, Ringo, without any prompting, just wanders over and plonks his head on your leg giving you those eyes that say ‘what’s up buddy?’. Awesome.

Over the last few days, I’ve come up with the phrase ‘be like Ringo’ – to be applied when things feel a little crazy, a little frustrating. If you’d have told me this time last year that I would have such love for and such understanding of a dog, I’d have barked myself silly. And let’s not forget bum wiggling Susie – Audrey’s dog. Again, the love she gives is incredible.

Of course, Zeekee has been with us for nearly 2 years now and she’s seen her share of ups and downs and ups again. A beautiful cat, and a perfect pal for Ringo. She’s definitely the boss – but then I’m bound to say that. As we do with all females in our lives, we let them feel like they’re the boss. 😀😱

Love, love, love. Yes, as Messrs Lennon and McCartney said, ‘all you need is love’. A subject that I have covered many times before and will cover many times again. Love can pick you up, and it can help you to understand how totally lucky you are. Love is the touchstone of life.

And love has been the feast upon which #TeamDuke has fed at a time when it could have felt that we were starved of it. When you’ve had love and then it turns out that the love was a lie, at least in the way you believed it was shared, that hits you in the pit of your soul.

But, when true love, unconditional love, is fed to you, the taste stays with you even when you are feeling uncertain about your situation.

Emotionally, there have still being times when this year has felt like riding a stormy sea but, in the main, it’s been a river cruise (all these water references are effecting my bladder). I’ve chartered our well navigated journey over the course of the blogs this year and to all of the many, many stars of our show, thank you, thank you, thank you (last year, 3 was a concept introduced to me as being significant. Nah, I just like repeating myself).

‘Ben Speaks’ gave thanks to our family / families and friends. There’s also The Ramsden family who I have name checked before. But I will always be indebted to the light that they brought in the dark times of #TeamDuke. And now our lives are full of light Steve and Susan join in with our good times.

There are the many, many people who have reached out to us on Facebook. We are so lucky to have such support.

I should also mention Liv’s gaming friends – in Belgium, in Denmark, in the USA and everywhere else in between. You will never know just how grateful I am for the belief that you showed Liv. You are truly wonderful people.

And, so, there it is. Our journey so far. As we sit here and look in awe at where we are, one of our learnings has been to always, always accept offers of support and love. That support and love is the water that helps our roots and strength to grow and flourish. With that growth and that strength, we can the, always be willing and able to give.

Never doubt it, love will find you. Let it happen, and when it does don’t forget to share it.

So, as I bring another humble blog to a close, I have to admit to being in awe of Liv and Ben for their recent postings – ‘An open letter from Liv’ and ‘Ben speaks’. The responses have been quite overwhelming. Both postings were written with love, not anger. They were written from the heart. They were written with the intention of reconciliation, not to divide or isolate. These are 2 young adults who had their worlds ripped apart through an act purely self focussed, self absorbed, and with no thought for their feelings. An act which continues to hit them in the pit of their emotional make up. And yet, no response or acknowledgement from the person they are appealing to. The person who out poured on Facebook due to something read that caused reflection, and who then records a message criticising those who challenge her and her soulless partner. If that sounds harsh, sorry. As I said, the posts from a Liv and Ben were filled with love, but the response to their attempts to reach out – nothing. Whilst I understand she is not now on Facebook, perhaps if one of her ‘followers’ read this (and, yes thank you, my emotional well being is still intact – although that may be questioned if they know where I’m writing this. Please learn to differentiate between parental frustration and irrational comments), please let Ben and Liv’s mum know they say ‘hi, how about getting in touch, we love you’.

Having said all of the above paragraph , we don’t stop believing in #TeamDuke, we continue to hold on to that feeling because all you need is love. And we have an abundance of love, love, love.

 

Jon

 

Ben speaks (#TeamDuke)

Posted on by View from the ground

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The following are the words of Ben – my inspirational son. The words are written from the heart, with love, and are published in the hope that they will reach the target ‘audience’. I also want to publish them to show that there is light after dark, there is hope after despair, and wherever and whenever there is love, good will be the result.

I’m not entirely sure how to start these things, so I’ll start how Dad loves to, with a cheeky quote (although Im pretty sure there is nothing remotely cheeky about this quote, other than taking the pi** out of Dad”

“Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.” – Kay, Peter

Right now that’s done, onto the real reason I’m here. As many of you may, or may not know, this past year (give or take a few months), has been a hectic one, and probably the hardest of my life. It feels appropriate I write this blog on the 5 year anniversary of my incredible Grandad passing away, whom I share many treasured memories with. A wonderful man, married to a wonderful woman and Gran. Unfortunately both are watching down from the heavens now, but I live to make them proud. They made this family everything it ever is, and everything it ever will be. I love them both dearly, and miss them greatly.

The song Angels by Robbie Williams is a song I used as a strength at the time, a song me and Mum used to relate to each other. A song we listened to around the passing of Grandad, because it allowed us to release our emotions. “She offers me protection, a lot of love and affection” etc, this were lyrics I related to Mum, because she was my angel sent from heaven. Spent many of special mother and son moments together, and I was very lucky, so lucky to call her my Mum.

Unfortunately this paragraph takes a little turn for the worst. So, as many of you may know, my Mum walked out on the family over a year ago whilst I was away having the time of my life in America. She “found the light”, and ran away with Rich(ard), a man who shared a similar unrealistic dream of saving the world, and similarly left a wife and two sons behind. Me and Mum were a tight as you could be as a mother & son, inseparable, we were the same person. She was my emotional support, and my rock whenever I was feeling down. So in July 2016 when she walked away from her family, is for the first time really, where we found our roads taking different turns. I chose to stay with my Dad & Sister, and she chose to run. I’d be lying if I said even now, my heart doesn’t break a little everyday when I wake up and realise she isn’t just downstairs for a chat. The whole process felt like mourning, she was alive, but not the Mother I knew and loved it. It genuinely felt like a death, and was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever felt in my life. To see the affect it had on my Dad (who I’ll get onto later), and my sister was heart wrenching. I knew I had to stay strong for them, even on the days when I wanted to break down and turn into a recluse, I knew I had to stay strong for them. I also knew I’d made the right decision, because family for me is everything, family is my divine.

Fast forward a year, and things regarding Mum are possibly worse. She had deleted Facebook, and told me and my sister she’s cutting contact. We haven’t seen her for over a year, and again it has caused a great amount of emotional outpouring, and even caused me to shed a tear or two. If anyone knows me well enough, they know I don’t cry! But it allowed me to release my emotion and carry on being the strength for my family. All I truly want from her is a sign, some human emotion that she still cares. It’s upsetting reading her open letter on Facebook. All I can impress on people is that is not Mum, it’s what she has been turned into by people who now coward away, and try and hide behind what they’ve done, and instead now turn on the people they previously called their friend. It takes a lot for me to write this down, I’m a closed book and only open up for people I feel a true connection with, and trust. This has possibly been my greatest learning curve in life, and there is no doubt I have come out a stronger person.

The truth is though, we as a family now are stronger than ever for so many reasons and I am happier than I ever have been, and content with the course life is taking. I have a new job, a career driven job and everyday learning something new, and gaining a tremendous amount of experience. A girlfriend (who’d have thought it). Gaby, all though only in my life for a short amount of time, has shown a tremendous amount of courage herself and has been there for me when I was possibly at my lowest. It took me some time to realise it, but I feel I have truly met someone special and someone who I can be myself around, and makes me incredibly happy. My job, working in media for the first time in 2 years has also provided a timely boost, and the start of a new era.

I have my music, music to me is cathartic and switches me off from the world. Although bands like Architects may seem like screamy nonsense to some, to me they are more than that. There music reaches out to me like nothing else can.My sister Liv is moving onto far greater things, and has the fire in her eyes that had be extinguished so cruelly over a year ago. I am prouder of Liv than I could ever tell her. She has overcome adversity and come out fighting! Dad, my hero and my best friend. Taking on the role of Dum (Dad & Mum), even the household chores! This man has been a pillar of strength, and has held me and Liv up when all we wanted to do is fall. I could sit here and write for hours, but he knows, he’s saved us both. He’s everything I want to be, and couldn’t be prouder of everything he does. Audrey, the wee one. The support she has offered has just been off the scale, she has offered me and Liv a female figure to turn to. To her I probably give my biggest thank you. She’s taken on a load that she really didn’t have to, but she cared, she showed that she cares, and that was massive to me, Dad and Liv. She’s a great laugh and just fits in to our home perfectly.
There are too many people to thank, The Wallers, The Dukes/Ashby’s, Kathy, Cathy, Liam, Connor, James etc, the list is endless, but you know who you all are.

I struggle to put this kind of thing into words. We as a family now are at a great point in our lives. If Mum was ever to return I’d welcome her back with open arms. Despite everything that’s happened, I love her dearly, and if anything, the last year has made me appreciate the time I had her there 1000x more than I did.
We’re closer now than we ever have been. Keep an eye out for Dad’s new one, and he’ll tell you all about it.

 

Ben

Eye go here, egos there

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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“To see the world through the eyes of a dog is the greatest awakening I have experienced. To see, to truly see. To hear, to truly hear. To smell, truly smell. Imagine. Now, do it.” – Jon Duke

When is a quote a quote? Can a quote written by the author of the blog actually be a quote? Or is it a quote quote? Now, there’s a debate but to understand what the hell I’m on about, you need to read the last blog – ice cream, double cream, sun scream, #CreamDuke.

As usual with my word trotting, I said start with the title and then plot a map of mayhem to arrive at a point where I actually arrive at what I’m supposed to be exploring.

But, I’m going free form with this blog and I intend to start with where my eyes have gone. And no dear predictable friend, not towards an attractive lady. How very dare you!!!!!!!! I am very happily happy the very wonderful Audrey. I accept, whilst I sit here on the train back home, I would love to be in a carriage full of lovely ladies. Nowt wrong with that.

However, from where I sit, there is an elderly couple. Probably just been on holiday somewhere in the UK. Probably married for 40 – 50 years. Definitely as much in love now as they were when they got married. Lovely little glances. Little jokes. And now he’s been to get her a cardigan as she’s cold. No, I’m not stalking. I’m just revelling in observing love. Beautiful!

Sometimes it’s good to let your eye(s) go for a walk around. It helps to see the wonderment of love. When we have it, it’s the greatest feeling.

So, welcome on board the view from the grounded love train (😀). Thanks again for taking time out to read my blogs. I was chatting about how writing the blogs are therapeutic, cathartic and a great release. My dream remains true hat if publishing these blogs help one person, I am a very happy man. Of course, if I can help more through sharing the world of #TeamDuke, I am a very happy and proud man.

When I tell people that I intend to publish a book, I don’t know who is more doubtful, them or me (😀). Those who know me well, may remember I started a book 2 years ago. Title – Round The Bend or Turning The Corner. 60,000 words from blogs are I’d already published. All rewritten, and with a very personal opening chapter. But, clearly I held off for a good reason. There went my pension ………. Not!

So, the current work of art will come to fruition – You Can Call Me Dum, But Don’t Call Me Dumb.

As for a fictional piece I’ve started, let’s see how that works out. A dark comedy, which, if the 6 degrees of separation worked in my favour, could be a musical as the key character ………….. No, let’s see if I get chance to develop my thinking.

You could say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one once said a wonderfully talented scouser. It’s good to dream. I find it gives me something to aim towards. My dream at the start of the year was that 2017 would be awesome. So far, so good in duffus world of #DreamDuke (notice that clever play on words!).

To be fair, I also dreamt the blogs would help and inspire others to feel the love and gain hope in their own worlds. So far, so good. My next dream is for the blogs to reach out and touch the hearts and lives of thousands (what do you think? 144,000? No, let’s go for 11,110,000).

As I’ve written before, I love the idea of seeing the world through the eyes of our beautiful dog, Ringo. He sees nothing but an opportunity to give and feel the love. The times recently when I’ve worked home, and, let’s say go a tad frustrated. The next thing I know is his head is resting on my leg with that look of ‘oh Jon, I love you’.

Wouldn’t it be great to see everything from a state of love? Impossible? Nooooo. Everything is possible but, I have to admit, it’s going to be one heck of a journey to get there. A few things to work on are road rage, shopping trolley rage, queue rage, referee rage, rage rage. Basically, rage. But, it’s a worthwhile journey and wouldn’t it be good if it is a journey we could all embark on. Not in a weird, let’s form a cult (spellchecked). Not in a happy clapper state. But, in a state of seeing good. And actually looking for the good to see and not letting ego take over.

Ego? What is ego? Some people might think I’ve got a big ……. ego because I take selfie pretty much every day. Nooooo. That’s not ego. It’s self deprecating fun. Look at me? Over weight, under haired, over chinned, under intellectual but overly happy. So, why not put a daft picture on Facebook.

Ego? There are dictionary definitions but I’ll let you decide as you see people and life around you.

I do worry about ego in the world today. Do people do things for the betterment of others or to satisfy their own state of ego. Think world leaders, right now. Think business and financial leaders. But, I won’t let ego dictate that I dictate to you.

All I ask is that we leave our egos at the door and see and share the wonders of the eye – as if been seen by Ringo, or who ever your dog is. I’m going to keep on trying.

I hope you have enjoyed this journey from the train carriage of live.

I truly hope that the world of #TeamDuke can inspire you to step back, look at what you have, and look at what there is around you. It’s a kind of magic.

 

Jon

Ice cream, double cream, sun cream, #CreamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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“Sun is shinin’ in the sky. There ain’t a cloud in sight. It’s stopped rainin’ everybody’s in a play. And don’t you know.It’s a beautiful new day, hey hey” – Jeff Lynne

Hey hey indeed and welcome to a quote free start to another View From The Ground. I like a good song and Mr. Blue Sky is one of my favourites. I can’t help but smile because it, bizarrely, makes me think of sunshine and a beautiful blue sky. And, from a spiritual and overall emotional perspective, that sums up this year – sunny.

It’s been a funny old few weeks. I’ve felt a rush of words, thus why so many blogs. I’m grateful for the feedback I receive – what ever the shape of the feedback. It’s nice to know they are having an impact.

However, one particularly response I do want to address is concern raised relating to my emotional wellbeing – I think this is due to some references made to circumstances over the last few months, and the causes of those circumstances. I feel it important to reflect a little on past circumstances to afford the reader insight into the starting point for the #TeamDuke growth.

I am grateful for any concern but, rest assured, I have never been better. I think, sometimes, people read too much into words without understanding the writer’s perspective. I try to write with a smile, and sometimes that helps me to address difficult situations with a sense of dark humour, perhaps. So, thank you. #TeamDuke is on top form and very grateful for that. I am feeling incredibly happy. How couldn’t I be. If in doubt, there’s a few blogs to have a look at.

Finally, thank you to everyone who took time to read the last post – An open letter from Liv. The comments have been beautiful and we are very grateful for the support received.

Okay, on we go with the ramblings – and still not a quote quote in sight (I guess using some words from a song is a quote, but it isn’t a quote quote). This actually brings me on to a debate I am having with Audrey about toffee. Now, the immediate thought must be ‘that relationship ain’t going to last’. I accept my track record of late hasn’t been good with relationships and it does look like Audrey and I are travelling down different roads on this subject, and once you disagree about toffee, what next, potatoes (don’t get me started on potatoes!!!!!! (there he goes again with exclamation marks)), and ‘you really talk about toffee’ (don’t get me started about what else is there to talk about. YES I READ THE NEWS!!!!!!!!! (‘exclamation marks again and he’s shouting. He’s an emotional wreck’).

Yes, we talk about toffee. We talk about music. We talk about rugby league (Leeds Leeds Leeds (‘now he’s saying the same word 3 times!!!!!!!!!! And using more exclamation marks. He needs help. Now, quickly. Hey Jon, hold up the mirror. What do you see?’ I SEE ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! (‘aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhj’)). We talk about our life together and our lives past, present, and future. We talk about our families. We talk about our friends. We talk about spirituality. We talk about ………….. I’m sure you get the picture.

But, at the moment we talk about toffee. Well, we talk about when does toffee become toffee toffee. According to Audrey, it’s when it’s not treacle toffee – i.e. not toffee toffee!!!!!! (exclamation marks justified). Surely, if it’s not treacle toffee it’s just toffee. Mmmm, now there’s a debate, call it ‘just toffee’. What about peanut toffee? What about rum flavoured toffee? This has even been debated around the table during a meal and I had to concede. So, now I will order toffee toffee in the shop. When I want a certain type of topping for my ice cream it will be ………………, yes, toffee toffee sauce.

Now, there’s a wonderful link to the title for this blast of words – ice cream. Ice cream? Yes, ice cream. That hidden pleasure from childhood which, when rediscovered, smashes you right in the face before you realise it. Actually, I think I’m referring to an altercation in a restaurant years ago when someone’s ice cream dish actually smashed them in the face.

Anyway, yes, ice cream, a pleasure that has been rediscovered of late, aided by the wonderful selection of flavours now on offer. Audrey is completely to blame for the recent growth of my already expanding waistline. Imagine, having being treated to a rather wonderful meal to be asked if I’m interested in some rhubarb and ginger ice cream? WHAT????????? Rhubarb AND ginger. Can life get any better? And, then I was asked if I wanted any cream on it. Not just cream, but DOUBLE CREAM (S T O P S H O U T I N G!!!!!!!!). The bliss was so good, I went into a state of denial and, as I was in denial and therefore didn’t believe I’d had it, I needed a second serving.

As many will recognise, sometimes in life after a high a low might follow. So, I’m sure you can guess my disappointment that we have not been able to find the rhubarb and ginger ice cream again. Was it a gift from another force as a reward for taking Ringo out for a walk? I don’t know, but I’m grateful for that moment.

However, as the life of #TeamDuke has shown, any low is short lived and a replacement taste sensation was discovered – strawberry and clotted cream ice cream with scone bits.OMG!!!!!!!(!!!!!!!). So, there we are – said ice cream, with double cream and, yes and my friend, toffee toffee sauce. Try it and then try and tell me I’m wrong.

Ice cream of course is a perfect treat on a day when the sun is shining in the sky, and there isn’t a cloud in sight. You know what I mean, when it’s stopped raining everybody’s in a play. As well you know, it’s a beautiful new day. Hey hey indeed.

Since 2003 Ben and I have been going to the Leeds Festival – probably the best music festival in the world. We share this glory with our sister site, Reading (😀). It’s 3 days of music magic. It’s always been just me and Ben but, in the world of #TeamDuke, we were delighted to share it with Audrey and her wonderful daughter and son, Gaby (welcome to our awesome world), Phil (brother-in-law) and Michael (nephew). Oh, and 90,000 others.

The norm for the Leeds Festival is the quagmire of mud created by the customary rain. Clarty as Susan would call it.

Not this year. We were blessed (definition of ‘blessed’ for this blog is lucky mingled with a dash of gratitude, kissed with a rush of joy!!!!!) with sunshine and dry fields. So sunny, that a covering of sun cream was needed to protect my extremely large forehead. Wonderful music, awesome company, beautiful weather. What more could I ask for? Rhubarb and ginger ice cream, with double cream and toffee toffee sauce.

With all of that, maybe we should become #CreamDuke. Or maybe even #TeamCreamDukeToffeeToffee.

I’ll close the blog on that thought. It’s good to feel happy. In fact, I might have an ice cream.

Take care,

 

Jon

 

An open letter from Liv

Posted on by View from the ground

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As many will know from the blogs, the last 14 months have been difficult for #TeamDuke. But, with the love and support of each other, family and friends we have walked through the storm and are stronger than ever.

However, it can never be under estimated the effects of a parent walking away from their children – regardless of their ages – can have.

My love and admiration for Ben and Liv grows stronger every day.

I now want to publish the below letter, from Liv to her mum. The purpose for it being published in such an open way is the hope that Ben and Liv’s mum will understand, truly understand on a human level. Not on the level that she has been morphed into.

To their mum – if you are reading this, please read it as Ben and Liv’s mum. The person who raised them so wonderfully for so many years before ……….. Well, that’s where I stop.

And, anyone who believes this is mean spirited / inappropriate to post publically, you don’t need to read it. In fact, I would ask that you don’t.

These are Liv’s words and are written from the heart and from a place of love: –

“I have noticed my mum having posted an open letter on Facebook over Facebook, of course it warranted some level of response seeing as I am her daughter and I know people worry about mine and my elder brother’s reaction to seeing stuff like this on Facebook. To be blunt, it does sting, the only true communication that we have with our mother is through Messenger, and recently at least on my end, it’s been filled with what looks like both of us talking about two completely different things.

Me and Ben however are fine. I am about to go to university, while my brother is about to go into a new job in Media. We are keeping moving forward, trying to shoulder through the things that at times sting. We have an amazing Father, and his amazing partner, Audrey, who keep pushing us forward if we happen to get caught in the moment. I know I’m known as the more sickly of the two, Ben is more of a health freak than me and I’m someone who has ups and downs, but at the moment my life is mostly ups, thanks to the amazing support of both my family, and some of the greatest friends that I have ever had the pleasure of establishing. Ben’s social life is as active as ever, and he is still addicted to festivals and Rugby.

I’m sorry if I seem rude, disrespectful and all that, but in the recent months we have learned to just try and avoid the drama around my mum. I know what has happened here, I wish I was my age now (as in when this all started) I could’ve stopped it but back then I was too young, as was Ben. We didn’t know what was happening, and I never noticed that my mum was crumbling after the deaths of my beloved grandparents. I know my mum will read this, I know you will likely shake your head over it. But, me and you are too similar for me to not notice how you are ticking, as I am very much the same. We have the same vulnerabilities, and our thought process is likely very similar. Without the careful support of some very patient friends, I used to victimise myself, I still do at times, and it’s something I wish to work myself out of. It’s a slow process, but it will get there. You say how we are mirrors, it made me think about what happened between us. I think you saw me, and I saw you. We took very different paths in dealing with our issues, and I am still scared for you. I am still scared that eventually I am going to lose you completely in one way or another, and this thought haunts both me and Ben. I’ve offered my hand out, it’s still there. After everything, it is still there. I don’t know if you deserve that, after everything you have done to not only me, but my Dad, my brother, my aunts and my uncles, my grandparents and your friends.

While I am writing this, I don’t know if it will get through to you. I’ve written things so similar to this, and it’s like a constant cycle of me never getting a proper response from you. Just something cryptic, something about you being chosen or even that I am chosen. Mum, we are both humans. The same as everyone else, we are not better, we are not worse, we are simply humans. We aren’t some chosen to survive the eventual storm, if there was truly a divine, they wouldn’t do that. Pick a group of random people, and make them abandon their family. You’re just using this as an excuse to run away, run away from the fact that you have majorly messed up this time. What sort of divine creature would make a woman not only have an affair on a loving husband, but abandon their entire family in the process. None. So please, stop running from this, it doesn’t do any good, it just makes everything worse, and I know I am your daughter and a generation apart from you, but this is something that you need to trust me on.

You need to work with us on this, your friends need to work with us and support you. These thoughts, these visions, don’t get me wrong, I don’t fully disbelieve in a spiritual presence but I know something isn’t right about it. The divine doesn’t happen to appear after death and trauma in the family, but I know something else does, and I know how corruptive it can become. And in the end how dangerous. You coming to terms with what has happened will bring relief to many people who I know sit around and fret about you, even when you say that you’re okay, it is simply like it is written on thin paper. We don’t know if it is true or not, we don’t know if it is actually you writing that to us.

So I ask that you please stop victimising yourself in this, Mum. And that you please stop running away on this path of self discovery or whatever the hell you’re doing now. I’m trying to still believe that somewhere in there is the woman that raised me, that somewhere in there is the person that I picked a large chunk of my personality from, and that you just take both mine and my brothers hands. We are here to try and pull this drama to end. I will do anything, I will pay for your ticket, me and Ben and the family will do everything we can. I know you ignore everyone, everything that says this. But you need to come home.

Love from your daughter, Liv”

To their mum – once you have read it, read it again, on your own. Look at the pictures at the start of this blog, and try to cut through to that human and humane person that you were for so many years. This is not about me and you. In truth, it never has been. This is about you, Ben and Liv. About you, Phil and Bruce. About you and the rest of the family. And, this is about you and the countless friends who wanted / want to be there for you. As Liv said, people are waiting to support you. They are even happy to embrace you being a vegan 😀. Jon

The answer is – a) Poor me; b) Pour me; or c) Paw me aka Cleaning out my closet (#Team Duke – the series)

Posted on by View from the ground

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“When you are here and now, sitting totally, not jumping ahead, the miracle has happened. To be in the moment is the miracle.” – Osho

“You can spend minutes, hours, days, weeks, or even months over-analysing a situation; trying to put the pieces together, justifying what could’ve, would’ve happened… or you can just leave the pieces on the floor and move the fuck on.”
― Tupac Shakur

Oh no! A blog about ‘that’ subject again. Noooooooooo! Fear not, whilst I might reflect (but, so does a mirror. There’s a thought – mirror mirror on the wall, what do you see? Well, now that’s a good question. However, the more relevant question is, what do you see? Is it you or is it a clone? Are you a member of the clone roses brigade?), this is all about cleaning out my closet. Mmmm ‘n’ mmmmmmm.

Hello and welcome to my field of dreams, where I perch to observe and smile.

Following some recent blogs, I have been made aware that they may have been misinterpreted, as they appear to have caused the reader to go to Facebook to express their views – not directly, so maybe I’m being over sensitive. I do have a tendency to be a tad sensitive at times. With reason? You decide.

Anyway, the joys of social media also allow me to restate the purpose of the blogs. So, for the record, they are: –
* written from the heart and with love;
* a reflection of the journey that we have been on for the last 14 months and more;
* honest;
* an open expression of love for family and friends; and
* not written for the consumption of others who want to use the intent of the blogs to massage their guilt / ego / ‘beliefs’.

If the #TeamDuke blogs can inspire others in this world filled with ego, bring it on.

So, any deluded, shapeshifting, ‘we’re on a soul journey’ people out there, I suggest you don’t read on. I’m sure you’ll find 144,000 reasons to think this blog is about you. Don’t forget, save the cheerleader, save the world 😜. Although, as the worldly wise Tina Turner once observed from her view from the stage, ‘we don’t need another hero’. Yatta!

Is this playing out the poor me syndrome? The regular reader will know that I’ve mentioned previously ‘poor me’. It’s a concept from the Celestine Prophecy (excellent book) and it’s something I have had pointed at me in the past. You know what, I agree! I realise I could / can feel blood sorry for myself. Hello, I’m a man, that’s what we do best!! (Exclamation mark frenzy creeping in!!!!!!!!). However, the definition below, lifted from t’internet, is a different kind of person, I believe. A special kind of person. I’ll just leave the words, as below, hanging there as we pause for thought.

‘Poor me’s make us feel guilty and responsible for them. They complain and whinge about problems, offering no solutions. They make you feel guilty when you’re in their presence, even though you know there is no reason to feel that way. Everything they say and do puts you in a place where you have to defend against the idea that you’re not doing enough for them.’

No, please be assured, I’m not play the ‘poor me’ now. I’m celebrating the purpose of the blogs and am grateful for the support that the blogs, and #TeamDuke, continue to receive. Thank you, and similarly thank you from my heart for the beautiful feedback and comments received.

So, another blog in the world of #TeamDuke. In the words of M People, we continue to be moving on up through what has been a real year of progress. Our unity just goes from strength to strength, as we work together as a ……….. team. All for one and one for all! As the regular reader will know (note, I keep referring to ‘reader’ not ‘readers’, as I don’t want to make assumptions), our ‘team’ is a collective of all who want to join us, but the core unit expanded this year with the inclusion of the truly wonderful Audrey. Never has a person completely shown unconditional love – in my eyes – than Audrey. And, the magic is, she doesn’t realise it. So many could learn from her.

But one of my own personal learnings through the past few months, as previously written – #TeamDuke raise a glass and toast routine, is to break routine.

I’m a regular user of Facebook and, as had been pointed out, I did like to share posts about my love of red wine. And rose. And beer. And …… I think you get the picture. I do love a drink but, after my rude awakening last year, I started to thing – do I love a drink or does a drink love me? You know the pattern, a hard day at work, you get home and before you know it you’ve poured a glass of wine. It was a routine.

I’d have a glass of wine, maybe a glass and a half. It just happened. I won’t explore how having a glass and a half of shared bottle of wine always resulted in an empty bottle.

Anyway, time to change the routine. I’m certainly not preaching the virtues of not having a glass of wine. But, and I know to most this will sound obvious, but a nice cuppa tea hits the spot perfectly.

I guess I needed an awakening to realise I had to clean out the wine drinking closet and become me. Glass of wine? Not tonight, I’m have a cuppa. Never night, glass of wine? Don’t mind if I do. As Chicago sang, it’s been a hard habit to break but my new, vibrant, energised, happy, fun, positive (YES, WE GET THE PICTURE!!!! ENOUGH!!) life has opened my eyes. To paraphrase another song, you don’t have to have a drink to have a good time – oh no.

Having said all of the above, I’ve just spend 3 days travelling in and out of the Leeds Festival with Ben (who paid for me 😅) and have been polishing off a couple of drinks before midday. Hypocritical? Nah. Live for the moment, that’s all I’m getting at. It’s been a case of stopping pour me before it became poor me.

Again, as has been written, another welcome addition to #TeamDuke has been our beautiful dog, Ringo. Such a bundle of fun, energy, positivity, and love. When it feels like the weight of the world is falling onto your shoulders, the love of a dog is quite overwhelming (although the sound of him right now pacing and panting because he wants a walk is overwhelming for different reasons). He’s now taken to throw a front leg over me when I’m in bed in the morning to remind me to live in the moment and …….. feel the love. It’s his paw me moment. A damned sight better than poor me or pour me.

Have you chosen your answer to the question in the title?

As so, to close. Cleaning out my closet? As you can tell from this any recent blogs, there has been a lot of cleansing going on for #TeamDuke. A lot of cleaning. The local charity shop will soon benefit from some clothing. There’s still a few copies of the book – These Wings Can Fly. I wrote a blog last year about the 6 degrees of separation. Well I wonder if I, 6 people away from meeting the person who can turn that work of fiction, fabrication, and folly (3 F’s) into a film. I can already see the queue of actors wanting to join in – particularly the actor who plays Captain Obvious in the http://www.hotels.com advertisements in the UK. He would be perfect for the ‘male’ (note, not man) lead. Look the actor up.

I’m afraid some of the books have had to go. 50 Shades Of Purple was a bit of an odd one. I’m not sure I get the channeling of physical energy in the name of been twin souls will appeal to the right minded. Raven Bonkers Or Just Cuckoo is a sad read. Joking apart, I am not making light of mental health issues. As some who has flown in and out of depression for many years, and supported and being their for my daughter who has struggled on a much deeper basis, I know the seriousness of the illness. However, the key is recognising you are ill in the first place. But, with regards to the book title referred to – it helps to know the difference between a raven and a crow.

At that, I will close. As always, I’ve enjoyed writing this blog. I’ll leave you with a final concept I am working on – about how to change myself without changing me. I actually think I’m getting there. Think about it. Some people think they need a whole makeover when it’s just a bit of fine tuning.

I hope you have enjoyed reading these words. If you have, please spread the word. Together is far greater than apart.

 

Jon

A game of clones

Posted on by View from the ground

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‘I’m not ashamed to be me. More than anyone else I know, I love my life and accept myself. What’s wrong with being unique? I am proud of everything that I am and will become.’ – Johnny Weir

‘Family is a unique gift that needs to be appreciated and treasured, even when they’re driving you crazy. As much as they make you mad, interrupt you, annoy you, curse at you, try to control you, these are the people who know you the best and who love you.’ – Jenna Morasca

‘Finding and realising who the unique you is, by yourself, without being distracted by the voices of those filled with self interest and self doubt, is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Through that discovery, your eyes and mind are opened to the incredible possibilities that are available to you.’ – Jon Duke

Uniqueness – ‘the embodiment of unique characteristics; the only specimen of a given kind’ or ‘having no like or equal; unparalleled; incomparable’ or ‘not typical; unusual’.

Those of us who are old enough will remember a TV programme (yes, my American friends, that is how you spell it 🤣) called Stars In Their Eyes. It was hosted by Matthew Kelly, and contestants would basically be what we call these days a tribute act / impressionist of a famous singer.

So, tonight Matthew I’m going to be Tony Hadley. ‘Thank you for coming home, I’m sorry that the chairs are all worn. I left them here I could have sworn.These are my salad days. Slowly being eaten away. Just another play for today.Oh but I’m proud of you, but I’m proud of you. Nothing left to make me feel small. Luck has left me standing so tall. Gold!’ (Gold – written by Gary Kemp)

I think you get the picture.

Welcome to my view from the ground. It’s been a funny old week. Why Jon? Thank you for asking. Well, it’s the first week back at work after 2 weeks off. I’m lucky, as I enjoy my job and am grateful to work with such a committed group of people. But, it’s hard to recondition to 6 am starts rather than lolloping about in bed until we’re even bothered to get up.

Then there’s things that Ben and Liv are having to deal with, which such an awesome and inspirational son and daughter shouldn’t have to. Imagine, wanting with all your heart to see and speak to a parent (who is ‘alive’) only for said parent to withdraw contact. Apparently, after being ‘guided’ to read my recent blogs and having ‘reflected’, believes she should cease online contact for now. I’m truly saddened that my words are alleged to be the cause. I’m sure you can guess how Ben and Liv feel. I’m trying to work out if this is a control drama or a poor me situation.

I’d like to set the record straight once and for all. I write my blogs from the heart. I write my blogs with the purpose of trying to help others through sharing the journey, yes, journey, that #TeamDuke have been on over the last 14 months – and more to be fair. We’re in a bloody good place now and we want others to be in a similar place of happiness.

Yes, I have been angry at the circumstances that caused us to set sail on this journey but we are bigger (my waist), better, and stronger as a result. Our love for each other is quite unbelievable and we now have Audrey and her wonderful family as part of our group. We are blessed, yes, blessed!, to still be part of the Waller family. What is wrong with that?

Okay, the Dark Side Of The Moonie raised questions. But these were my questions, not from Ben and Liv. And, that’s all they were, questions!

As I said, my blogs are written to help others and, hopefully, put a smile on the reader’s face. I reflect on what I write before I publish it so I stand by every word I’ve written. However, for Ben and Liv to apparently be cast aside by their mother is upsetting and I must question the damaging effect that a person / people around her have had on a woman who was such a wonderfully inspirational mother.

Ok, so what else. Well, I’m glad you asked. I’ve watched the reader numbers of the blog grow quite incredibly. I really want to reach out further and would ask if you could share these blogs please. Some are currently been updated ready to be shaped into book 1 – working title now ‘Yes, you can call me Dum’.

As those who know me well, I like to use Facebook – a lot! Sometimes, I will read something that I don’t quite agree with, and sometimes I will respond raising a question to such a post. However, that all it is – a question. I’m not saying the other person is wrong or that I am right. I usually am ………. JOKE! What I don’t intend though is for the writer of the post to be upset and withdraw from a specific Facebook group as a result. We are all entitled to an opinion and we are all unique and should celebrate our uniqueness (well, unless your mind has been bombarded with the warped views of the deluded). So, if I offend anyone by my questioning their posts, sorry. That’s just the unique me.

None of us should be a clone. There are too many people willing to look at someone, read something, be preached to and then hold up a mirror and say ’that’s me, that is’. Really? Is it you or are you a clone? Are you Dolly the sheep? I can hear it now, ‘baa, off he goes!’

Come on world, stand in your own truth. Be you, be unique, and be proud.

And, so, I’d like to finish with some lyrics from a song I heard a couple of days ago. It’s a young Welsh band, Neck Deep, and I found the words quite incredible so I want to share them. I’d recommend looking them up. The new album contains some very personal words.

“Don’t Wait” – Neck Deep (feat. Sam Carter)

“Disrupted they keep dividing

The government is lying

I’m not going to be a Pharisee of this society

Turn off your TV station

That’s not real information

Trying to define the human mind

It’s like puppetry

And they’ve got you by your strings

Playing God for money

A sorry sad charade

You can see right through it

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

Suspend your disbelief

Are you paying close attention

If you blink than you might miss their tricks and their deception

Destruct and disobey their laws

They say cause all the world is dark

And if you choose to read the news

Than you must question everything

And they’ve got you on your knees

They’ve got your milk and honey

And then we put them on the parade

And celebrate what’s coming

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

No path
 No grave 
No justice
 No peace
 The deep parade
 The truth will set you free
 No path 
No grave 
No justice 
No peace

Dig deep and see

The government is lying

Don’t wait for anyone

Say it for you

Say it for yourself

What if God was the beggar in disguise

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?

No path
 No grave
 No justice
 No peace

The deep parade

The truth will set you free

No path
 No grave
 No justice
 No peace

Would it make any difference

Would you open your eyes?”

 

I just love it. Take care and, remember, be unique. It’s not a game of clones.

 

Jon