Animal house. #TeamDuke – a year to remember

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 ……………………….. pick up the poo from the ground………. not a nice view
And so another View From The Ground blog starts with a quote. Not one; not two; yes, threes quotes. Why? Well, in truth, I tried to copy / paste one quote but seemed to collect three. However, in reality I love these quotes as the capture the theme of the latest, all singing and dancing, #TeamDuke update. So, welcome again to regular readers, new readers, and those who are just curious at what may unfold before their eyes.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“Two roads diverged in the road and I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Please bear with me as I unwind what is whirling around in my head. The title of the blog captures three themes, whereas as the sub-title captures what I capture from one of those themes. Mmmmm, now that’s something to behold.

So, I hope life is treating you well and that you are treating life well. Now, there’s a thought straight away – how many of us expect life to be good to us rather than us being good to life? Confused? Let me expand, as this idea has just dropped in.

When we wake up, do we a) groan; or b) express gratitude for a new day? Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m an a) and b) kind of guy these days and am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

Once we are up and about, do we a) dread the day; or b) enjoy the moment and work on making the best out of the day ahead. Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m less a) and more b) and, again, am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

I hope you get the picture. It’s useful exercise and one I personally try to do regularly to switch my old, natural, pessimistic self, into a more positive focussed person. As those who know me well will confirm, it’s a road I still travel daily and I do have occasional slips along the way.

The core at the #TeamDuke base – as featured in the last blog – Our House – is now, an old man (me), a young man (Ben), a young lady (Liv), a cat – the boss (The Zeek), and a dog – a doofus (Ringo).

If someone has said that our home would be made up of 3 humans, a cat and a dog a year ago I’d have thought they were thinking about another home. However, here we are! A veritable animal house and loving it.

The Zeek joined us 16 months ago and is a beautiful , majestic animal. She’s the boss and we all know that.

However, welcoming Ringo into the home has been a completely different experience. Liv has wanted a dog for years but I steadfastly held out that it just wouldn’t work. Recent times have softened me and here we are, With a great big doofus of a border collie.

It’s also being a big thing for Ben, who has always felt uncomfortable around dogs. But, Ben recognised that bringing a dog into the home would be good for Liv, so he gracefully agreed.

And, here we are, Ringo joined us and introduced me to having to deal with the poo from the ground. Nice! However, the many, many wonderful things he has brought to our home have, at times, being overwhelming.

I’ve seen on Facebook a picture of a man and a dog, sitting by a lake with thought bubbles over their heads. The man’s is full of work, money, news, relationships, anger, etc. The dog’s just has an image of the lake, as that is all he sees. I’ve always liked this image, but never really understood it.

But with Ringo, I fully get it now. I know all dog owners will understand this but please bear with me, as this is new experience for #TeamDuke.

The morning is the best example. I roll out of bed, feeling the gratitude for doing so of course. I stumble around the house, doing my best to be positive but remembering the things I need to do in the day, growling at a slightly loose tap (faucet), grumbling that Liv has left the bathroom light on …………. again, reminding myself I need to put some fuel in the day, and so on.

The Zeek wanders around close by, looking at her food bowl and wondering how Donald Trump is the most powerful person in the world. She’s very intelligent. And then, I open the downstairs door to Ringo. Does he leap with delight at seeing me? Does he run around looking for food? Does he ask me whether I’m worried that Theresa May has called at election and she won’t have any dogs standing to be elected for parliament? Nope! He looks at the door and telepathically tells me he’s got a gift for me. Another poo from the ground.

After that, and breakfast, the magic begins. My head is still awash with the day (positively of course), but it’s time to ask the question – “where’s your lead?”. This is where the perspective kicks in and I tune into Ringo’s frequency. Those words trigger unbelievable excitement as he Runs in circles. I can’t help but be swept up by his enthusiasm. No work, money, news, anger issues can break into this bubble of fun. He leaps trying to get into his harness and we end up leaping around together. Yes, dear folk who are used to my scowling, grumpy face, I leap about. It’s impossible not to.

And, that the magic. All of us in #TeamDuke have been effected by the joy for life that Ringo has injected into our home – even The Zeek.

As I said, all dog owners will resonate with this but, for me, this has been such an awakening. My dream for these blogs is to share our learnings and to, hopefully, bring a smile and even some hope when it’s needed. I want people to feel our happiness and, in turn, feel happy.

So, 2017, a year to remember. That was the plan at the start of the year and that continues to be the #TeamDuke mission. So far, so good. As we look at our achievements so far, Ben is doing great at work and is looking forward to a summer of music festivals; Liv has been to Belgium and Denmark this year, going on her own. Such a step forward; me? Well, as I have alluded I have someone in my life now – Audrey. It’s early days but the magic is there to be seen and felt. Im truly grateful for the joy Audrey has brought to me, but also, in turn, to #TeamDuke.

Ben and Liv are such wonderful people and, in the last 10 months, we have really learned about the strength of #TeamDuke. I am so blessed to have such an awesome son and daughter.

Life for #TeamDuke is on an upward trajectory. But we will never take what we have for granted. We are grateful for every day and for everything we have.

And, at this point, I will wrap up another #TeamDuke update. Ringo needs a walk and I’m looking forward to letting the dog out, and having a jump around.

I wish you peace, happiness and that you also have a year to remember.

Jon

Our house – #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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❤️2 ……………………. return home
“Where we love is home – home that our feet may leave, but not our hearts.” – Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.

“Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action.” – Mother Teresa

I’m at it again, 2 quotes; 1 blog. However, as ever, there’s a message to share, so please bear with me as we open another window in the house of #TeamDuke.

Welcome to this View From The Ground blog. I hope you are enjoying the sharing of our experiences. To be honest, it’s almost like keep a journal – well, sort of. Please bear with me whilst I expand (just like my stomach) on that point.

Before I do, that you for the great response to the last blog – Talk Talk – It’s my life with #TeamDuke. I was overwhelmed by the number of people who peeked through the curtains into our world. I hope you will stay with us and continue to share, celebrate, hopefully be inspired by our ongoing development as the beautiful #TeamDuke.

Over the course of the year, I have tried to share the experiences of #TeamDuke. We are nothing remarkable, when compared to millions of others. However, we are proud of who we are and where we are in relation to our on-going well being. I’m not going to rehash previous blogs on which I have discussed matters relating to the starting point of our journey. If you want to have a look, the #TeamDuke blog is a good starting point.

However, over the course of this year’s blog, I have shared what I would describe as the building blocks which have helped us grow even stronger as a family of 3 – + Zeekee the cat, Ringo the dog, and, well, the new person in my life.

The building blocks – or as I have just mistyped, ‘building blogs’ (an accidental play on words, but actually quite good, so I’m going to use that) – have been based around love, gratitude for what we have (not what / who we’ve lost), the power of family and friends, open communication, helping others, and so on. But the key has been the building blogs (😀) have been shared in the hope that our experiences will help as many people as possible; maybe even inspire action. I certainly hope they put a smile on the reader’s face.

So, what’s the latest building blog (I really do like this term!) about? Well, you might have guessed it’s about the magic of being at home and the incredible place home is / should.

Our house is nothing outstanding. It’s a nice semi-detached. Our house, in the middle of our street. Sounds like Madness? Not really, but I don’t want to become an embarrassment by going on about the house. But, the magic happens because our house is our home.

I guess my point here is the emphasis being on it being a home, not just a house. A place where we gather to talk, to laugh, maybe to cry, to dance like no one is watching, to sit in perfect peace and to be just so.

Ben reminded me recently in those challenging times last year, there were days when I would come home from work and, within minutes, be exclaiming that I should have stopped at the office. Sadly, the home was suddenly a house. It was soulless. I’m sure those who know me will understand the irony – and, as I seem to say a lot, I do love a bit of irony. Now, this is not a dig; it’s a fact and something for which I accept my fair share of responsibility. I didn’t at the time but, upon reflection, I’ll hold my hand up.

However, the commitment we have made as #TeamDuke is to recreate what this wonderful building was for many years – a beautiful home, where we could welcome family, friends, and basically everyone who wanted to join us.

As I discussed in the previous blog, Talk Talk – It’s my life with #TeamDuke, communication is so very important. In equal measures, having a place where we can talk openly is critical – home!

I love that over the last few months we have returned to having a home where people can and will turn up unannounced – wonderful. Where friends will appear at the door, a bottle of wine in hand, ready to have fun. To many people, I’m sure this is no big deal. I understand that, but for us it has been so important because we had lost that.

So, what’s the message? Having now read nearly 800 words I’m sure this is a question that is whirling around your mind. Sorry. I suppose the message is hidden as another exclamation of gratitude. I’m grateful for my house in the middle of our street. It’s our home; it’s our roots; it’s our little piece of heaven; it’s our place to continue creating those bricks of growth and they, in turn, can become future building blogs.

I think I’ll close there. As I sit at home; in my place of quiet reflection and quiet gratitude for everyone and everything in my life. I am blessed and I hereby place on record my love and gratitude to all who have brush passed me through life. Those who have been and gone, thanks for the memories. This who have come and stayed – watch this space as the ride could get interesting. For now, the door of our home is open to you.
Jon xxx

Talk Talk – It’s My Life with #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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View From The Ground- ❤ 2 …………………….. communicate
“It’s my life. It’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever.I just want to live while I’m alive.” – the wise words of Jon Bon Jovi.

Now, those with any form of musical bent would have derived from the title of the blog I would have quoted from Mark Hollis’s classic song (there’s No Doubt those across the pond will know the song by another band). I also thought that, but then the anthemic (is that a word?) tones of Mr BJ (ooo er missus) rang out in my head.

Hello again. It’s been a while. Strangely, the words ‘if you have nothing to say, say nothing’ are whirling round my head. Ironic really (and I do love my irony. I hate ironing, but love irony) – when you consider the theme of the blog. But, I try to write meaningfully rather than just presenting a wall of words. That probably why the 2 – yes, 2 – books I’m storyboarding are taking time. I need to feel inspired whereas at the moment it is more a feeling of being perspired.

Anyway, watch this space – book 1 is based on the blogs and the on-going learning that #TeamDuke use to inspire our development. I just need to shape them into being current, meaningful and interesting enough to inspire people to want to read it.

The 2nd book, well, this is going to be an interesting project. I’ve always loved the author, Tom Sharpe. I love the dry, sometimes dark, humour that he uses. My challenge – I’m not a skilled or trained writer (yes, I know, I’m stating the obvious). So, the plan is to through some ideas down and then have a co – writer to help make sense of those words. As they say, watch this space. The process will be fun and very cathartic.

So, life for #TeamDuke continues to blossom. In the week we have introduced a dog into our world – or has he introduced us to his? Liv discovered a dog rescue centre and, to cut a long story short, we met and fell in love with Ringo – a 7 1/2 year old border collie. As daft as a brush (have you ever seen a daft brush? No, me neither, so what does ‘as daft as a brush’ mean?. I should talk to someone). So, that means there’s me, Ben, Liv, The Zeek, and now Ringo.

And that’s not all. After the horrors of last year, I am blessed to have someone in my life now. I’ll say no more for now other than I feel very lucky 😀.

Talk talk? Is it a band, is (was) it a mobile phone brand? No, it’s a way of life and survival.

Isn’t it strange how so many of us – particularly men – bottle up our troubles and woes because we fear that people will see it as a weakness if we say ‘I’m not feeling too great about life’? Isn’t it strange that there are people who, when you say ‘I’m not feeling too great’, tell you to get over it, it’s all in your mind, you’re been dramatic? Isn’t it strange that right now there is someone self harming because they feel that they don’t have a voice? Isn’t it strange that there is a high focus on mental health at the moment but, right now, governments dropping bombs that cost millions when that money could be better used in actually supporting mental health?

Strange, but true. Sorry, I got a bit heavy there but as I look at the news today, I truly wonder what the hell is going on. But, let’s move on.

I’d also regarded myself as a private person, a close book. But, last year’s events taught me the importance of talking. But, more importantly, it taught me the importance of getting others to taught and in turn, the importance of listening. Just listening. Not saying ‘I know, let me tell you about when that happened to me’, or even worse, say ‘don’t be so daft. You’re just being dramatic’.

To have someone to listen, or to be that person to listen is pure magic. When you know that you have someone who will, and wants to, listen, it’s almost like being given a key to open you up. Magic.

I’ve certainly found the importance of listening. When Ben asks if I want to go out for a walk, I know he has something he wants to talk about. And I am so grateful that he does want to talk. If Liv comes into see me at 3:00 am, I know she needs to talk. And I am truly grateful to be able to give her the ability to talk.

And I know Ben, Liv, and many others give me the chance to talk, and they listen without judgment. Magic.

It is magic and I guess the purpose of this blog is to put it out there – the importance of being able to talk, talk. The importance of not bottling it up because if that bottle pops, then it could be messy (not the footballer).

So, are you a closed book? Are you bottling it up because you don’t think someone will listen? Do you know someone who you think is bottling up their troubles? Do we know someone who locks themselves away, is sullen and withdrawn? Maybe, just maybe if you would listen listen, they might just talk talk.

And there’s the magic of #TeamDuke. We talk, we listen, we move forward and we grow. We grow in strength and in number. It’s my life, it’s our life, it’s life. Live; laugh; love.

Take care – in the words of Talk Talk, life’s what you make it. Let’s make it magnificent.

JonIMG_2059 

Lessons in love. #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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View From The Ground – ❤2 ………………… have found my thing

As we scamper towards the start of a new season, it feels like new life, new experiences and new hope are just in front. Can that be? Let’s explore 😀.

Welcome to the latest ground based observations and worldly words in the continued experiences of #TeamDuke.

Now, I accept, those who know me will struggle with the idea of me scampering, particularly with my excess baggage physique and my enjoyment of, well, not scampering. However, a wordsmith I’m not (no sh!t Sherlock) and I couldn’t think of a better word – so, deal with it ………….. please.

Anyway, let me continue. Those who have looked into previous blogs will know I have a leaning for starting each blog with a quote. As observed in the last blog – 55 reasons to be grateful. #TeamDuke – I don’t know why I do this, but I feels good, and we all like something that feels good. Don’t we? Or maybe it just my thing? Mmmmm, now there’s another hashtag idea – #MyThing.

So, back to quotes. The idea for them comes from the theme of the blog. Well, this time, I’m a bit all over the place theme wise, so here’s 2 quotes to celebrate where my head is right now (not literally as the quote would need to be pillow and bed themed. Sorry, not the best image to plant in your head).

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savoured.” – Earl Nightingale

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu

So, happiness and family are where I am, thinking-wise. No change there for 2017 I can hear being murmured, and you’re right. Those have been 2 of my key topics. As I’ve said before, I would like to use the #TeamDuke related blogs to spread some happiness and to focus on how we can all, hopefully, pull together to make this a better place to live. Particularly at times of uncertainty and at times when all we read is about negativity and hatred.

I admit that I have a tendency to think about things deeply and over the last 2 or 3 weeks of blog silence I have been thinking about my own personal development. As I have previously observed, the 2nd half of 2016 was truly horrendous for me, Ben and Liv – along with others. However, out of adversity, and the unbelievable love and support, we formed an even closer bond / unity and strength (which we didn’t think possible) and #TeamDuke became the calling cry. The call to arms.

The power of love can be overwhelming. As Holly Johnson so wonderfully said “The power of love. A force from above. Cleaning my soul. Flame on burn desire. Love with tongues of fire. Purge the soul. Make love your goal.” Now, a question, do those lyrics make you think of Christmas? Bizarre. A song which has nothing to do with that time of year but, because it was in the charts over a Christmas many years ago, it features every Christmas.

Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent. Too much tea!

So, I have been thinking, as I feel like #TeamDuke have turned a big corner, what lessons in love have we learned and can share in the hope that these lessons can help, maybe inspire, others. If we can help one person, who helps another, then our mission is truly working.

Talking of corners, that made me think about the song by George Michael, Different Corner. In turn, that made me think about what we can all learn from the sadly departed man. To give is a wonderful thing. To help others is a wonderful thing. To have the financial ability to do both, but to do it without seeking publicity, just through having such a good heart is magnificent. May the man rest in the peace that he deserves.

With regards to the following lessons, these are just things that have impacted on me, on us. I’m not preaching but just wanted to share some of the things that have helped so far this year. As I’ve said before, let’s make 2017 a year to remember for good reasons. That’s #MyThing. #TeamDuke.

* Don’t judge; do be open minded (within the realms of decency) – how easy is it to look at something / someone and immediately place our own thinking or ‘standards’ on that situation or person? Who are we to judge? Surely, we are better placed to learn? Our learning might be that we still don’t feel comfortable and at least we have learned. Now, this is a big one for me. I accept I’m a traditionalist so I can place, perhaps, limiting thinking to situations. So, this year an open minded approach to life has been eye opening and liberating. But, with the caveat of decency (ooo, eeer, missus) and ensuring that the situation does not have a negative impact on others.

* Look to love without limits – some may badge this as ‘unconditional love’. Even with my newly opened mind, I wouldn’t. Why? Because, my experience of ‘unconditional love’ has been that there are conditions place on believing it. I do love a bit of irony. Thus why my learning has been to love without limits. Doing my thing for people without thinking about me. Doing it because I can and because it will help someone else. Simple.

#TeamDuke have seen great examples of this. 2 that spring to mind are both food related. Now, I’ve already referred to my excessive baggage physique and that tells a story of being blessed to enjoy food. But, of late, I’ve seen Ben willing volunteer to cook at least once a week. Now, some may say ‘big deal’. But arriving home to a freshly prepared meal is a real treat for me. And that meal is superb.

But, on one occasion, when I was returning late from London and I’d said to Ben I’d do a bacon sandwich when I got home, walking through the door to a wonderfully cook meal almost reduced me to tears. Love without limits.

The 2nd example involves Liv. Now Liv is not know for spending a lot of time in the kitchen – unless she’s making cookies. However, after one particular long and hard day at the desk (a good day, so I’m not complaining!), I phoned home to be asked what I wanted for the evening meal. Lo and behold, I walked through the door to a great meal. Wonderful! Love without limit.

I am truly blessed #TeamDuke.

* A friend in need has been neglected – a big lesson in love is that, in our time of unhappiness, we have needed for nothing. The love without limit has been stunning. To feel the support from all corners has given us not only strength but a reminder never to neglect anyone. Be a friend, be there. It’s the silence that speaks volumes so, if you have a friend who you haven’t heard from for a while, check in. They just might need you.

* Treat each day as a gift – this is an oldie but goldie. How ver, how many of us groan as we get out of bed (at least when we’re getting up for work). However, I have learned to be grateful that I can wake up, that I can get up, and that I can see, hear, smell, and feel the new day. I’m just saying.

* Smile, laugh, and give others a reason to join in – I’ve just been listening to an interview with Haemin Sunim who talked about the power of smiling, both for yourself and others. Simple again but just imagine. Now, many know I like a laugh but smiling, particularly on a Monday, is not so natural. But, as I have said above, the love that #TeamDuke have received gives us every reason to smile and I hope reading our story gives you reason to join in. #Smile with #TeamDuke.

* Try and do something every day for someone which in turn will encourage them to do a good act for someone else. The domino effect in reverse – I.e. Touch the first domino watch it touch the next domino, which is flat on the ground, and watch it rise, and so on. I think what I have said above gives a feel for how this works. It’s almost like a game of tig. Do something good for someone, tig them and pass it on and, hopefully, as they do something good for another person the magic begins. (I’m not sure how to spell tig, so if this is incorrect, tig me and let me know and I can pass it on)

And, so I was getting ready to close this latest look into our world until I saw a post for Facebook about Monday, 20 March being a global Day Of Happiness.

Now, a day of happiness on a Monday! However, I love the idea of a global day of happiness. If you want more details, have a look at http://www.dayofhappiness.net.

There is also http://www.actionforhappiness.org which looks at the broader concept of bring happiness to our dysfunctional world. What a lesson in love.

And, so, let’s finish with another quote . I hope this inspires you, as it has me.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” ~ Aristotle

I wish you much happiness.

 
Jon

55 reasons to be grateful. #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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View From The Ground- ❤ 2 …………………… be grateful

Now, I usually open the blogs with a quote but before I do, I wanted to offer a heartfelt thanks that you have opened the link to another View From The Ground blog. I am always grateful that people take the time to read, and share, these blogs. I am not a qualified, trained, experienced writer. I set out to write from the heart, but in my own, authentic, voice.

My aim is to share my thoughts and experiences in the hope that they actually offer hope to others – particularly at times of darkness and challenge. But also, I want to share a bit of fun along the way. I am aware that, perhaps, the blogs at times in the latter stages of 2016 were a tad ‘pointed’, but, as I have said in previous blogs this year, the focus is on making 2017 the best year yet – for #TeamDuke and for as many others as we can possibly reach.

Now, I know my blog earlier in the week – Anger Is An Energy – was, how do i put this, angry but that was just a reflection of my frustration about homelessness. If you haven’t seen it, or did see it and thought ‘Anger? I don’t like the sound of that. Where has all the happy clapper stuff gone?’, I would ask that you have a read. As I said, it’s a call to arms to try and eliminate homelessness.

Anyway, moving back to my rambling, rather than ranting.

After reflecting on my mission to make this the best year yet for #TeamDuke, it all got me thinking about the theme for this blog and what quote to use. The theme of the blog is usually the thinking for the quote. Although actually – other than the continued growth of #TeamDuke – does there always need to be a theme? Let’s see how this blog develops.

I’m not a Paris Hilton fan and, word has it, she’s not keen on me. When I say she’s not keen on me, she doesn’t know who I am and therefore I’m probably doing her a great dis – service. If she met me, she’d love me. Of course!! Anyway, I liked these words from her – “The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday”.

Okay, so with those words in my mind and, as I have just passed another milestone (as in age, not toiletry movement). Reaching an age where, as a Liv tells me, I am now closer to 60 than 50 has been a bit of a moment. It is my first birthday in the era of #TeamDuke, as in it being me, Ben and Liv (not forgetting The Zeek).

There is no doubt, we should all live each day like it’s your birthday as we wake up to the greatest gift of all – life.

But, then I have reflected on another great gift I have been granted in this new chapter in my life – happiness. And, happiness is certainly something I will always be grateful to all of those who have enabled me find again true happiness and what a gift it is.

I love a quote I found – “I shall take the heart. For brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world.” ― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

I will remain eternally grateful to Ben and Liv for all they have done and all that they are doing for me. I am also grateful to my wonderful family and friends for the support that they continue to provide and the happiness that brings.

As we move towards Spring, that sense of happiness accentuates as new life starts to grow around us. The sight and smell of new life. The lighter days and nights to enjoy walks with friends or loved ones, or friends who have become loved ones.

For those of us who are lucky enough to walk, it is a gift that takes no money to enjoy.

I must admit, I am always grateful to Ben when I get home from work and he suggests grabbing a walk, and talk. It’s a beautiful thing to be blessed with a son who wants to have a regular walk with his old man.

And then I reflect on my day of celebrating moving closer to being 60 years old. The awesome time with #TeamDuke; the phone calls from family, the multitude of Facebook messages, and the visits from friends on or around the big day.

There was a time when I really struggled to celebrate my own big day. But with the advent of rediscovering happiness, I celebrate whatever and when ever I can. One day, I may even remember smile a bit more. I am smiling inside. I just struggle to smile outwardly. Maybe I’m a bit worried that someone might rip it away …… again. I don’t know why I worry as I know I am lucky enough to know now that I am surrounded by true, unconditional, love.

Is that 55 reasons to be grateful? I don’t know because maybe the blog title should just be ‘every reason to be grateful’.

I truly believe that there is always a reason to be grateful. Sometimes, when it feels like life has dealt us a few blows, I understand it can be hard to see reasons to be grateful. It’s at those moments I look at The Zeek.

Every morning, she comes downstairs with me and sits on the kitchen looking at me until I stroke her at which point she purrs and rolls on the floor (if only human life was that easy). After the stroke fest has been completed she sits again until I’ve got her food and drink sorted. After that, she may walk upstarts and leave me a little gift in her sh!t box to deal with. After that, she will lay next to the radiator for warmth. After that she will have a sleep.

My point? The Zeek is grateful for all of the above, and she is happy. She dos not worry about the weather. She does not worry about what might happen in 2 hours. She does not worry about what story is being peddled by a world leader about what has or hasn’t happened in Sweden. She doesn’t worry about Brexit, even though I’ve talked to her about it in detail. She doesn’t worry about our plans to get a dog. Mainly because she speak Cat, not English.

So, I try and follow The Zeek’s lead. And with that, when I get to work and I’m asked how I am maybe I should respond ‘meow purr meow meow purr’.

And, so to close, I guess you could say the journey to feel and enjoy true happiness continues. So far, it feels good, but then I know that it should.

Take care, and I hope your life is filled with love and reasons to be grateful and to be happy.
Jon

 

#TeamDuke #StillBreathing

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View from the ground – ❤ 2 ………… have a view from the gods (at Leeds Arena) of #GreenDay on the #RevRad tour 

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox

Few words are available to express the magic and joy of bellowing out Still Breathing by Green Day with Ben and Liv and 13,500 others at the First Direct Arena in Leeds tonight. Arms round each other. The words have true meaning. A moment that will live with me.

Pride, joy, passion, love, togetherness, hope, and celebration are just some of the emotions experienced.

Thank you Ben and Liv. You’ll never truly know what you mean to me.

xxxx

Reasons to be cheerful 1 2 3 (#TeamDuke and the #family and #friends)

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View From The Ground – ❤ 2 ……………… be cheerful

“We tend to focus on our problems in life and to take for granted our blessings and achievements. It is natural that we think about the difficulties we face and the challenges we have to overcome but there is a real danger that when we do this we can become become weighed down with worry or negative feelings. It is good to step back for a moment from our day to day cares and to list all the things that are going well in our life. It will give us a positive lift and help to put our problems into perspective.” – Paul Sloane

Hello and welcome to another view from the ground. Here we are, at the start of the second month of 2017 and another step in what has been set as an awesome year.

I truly hope that it is an awesome year from all, in and amongst the continued lunacy that is spread before us on the news. I don’t need to go into detail and, of course, we all have different views as to what us going on around us. I still wish someone would launch a new channel that featured good news only. Imagine that! Of course, the owners of our news media would not allow that. They need us to live in fear. Whoops, sorry – dangerous opinion alert 😀.

Anyway, my intention is to focus on positivity and to help anyone and everyone who want to join #TeamDuke on our adventures in 2017.

The blogs so far this year have been a step away from last year’s blogs. But the intentions are the same – to provide help and support to others; to provide hope; and to hopefully have some fun.

There’s a book in the making. The original draft from last year needs a complete rewrite, to reflect the change in direction that my life has taken. The new book is taking shape and there’ll be more news on that.

I hope the blogs are providing, at the very least, some entertainment and beyond that an injection of positivity. And, that where the idea for reasons to be cheerful came from. Again, reflecting on the ‘have’ not the ‘have not’. A quick listen to the brilliant song by Ian Dury, which includes “Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy. Being in my nuddy. Saying hokey-dokey, Sing along with Smokey”, provided the encouragement to reflect the many reasons to be cheerful, and here’s not 1, not 2, but 3.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 1

I know I have talked a lot about #TeamDuke. But I am fiercely proud of our bond, our love, our unity, and our friendship. I hope to inspire others that, in the face of our collective adversity that we have become so strong and are now purely focussed on continuing to move forwards.

A big commitment Ben, Liv and I have made is to be always there for each other and to be ready to talk at any time. So, there’s nothing like a good chat at 4:00 am. #TeamDuke is a 24/7 thing. To share the highs, the lows, and the fuzzy bits in the middle. But a great learning I have experienced is based on one of the oldest sayings – life is short, so don’t waste a minute of it.

I know sleep is important for our mental well being and I know it is one if the first things I recommend that people should be wary of. But, I wouldn’t want to miss the chance of a chilled chat with Ben or Liv at whatever time. So, when a rather ‘relaxed’ Ben appears at the bedroom door at 4:00 am checking on how I am, it’s not an opportunity I am going to miss. And a good chat it was. I love the connection the 3 of us have. Before coming in to talk to me, Ben and Liv had been chewing the cud in the living room (lounge; front room; or what ever you call it). Again, awesome!

I know what we have is not exclusive. I really don’t want it to be. I want this kind of connection to be enjoyed by everyone. What a wonderful world that would be, and what a great news story it would me. If it was allowed to make the news.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 2

As I have said before, family and friends are critical to the rise of #TeamDuke. My love and appreciation of their / your support will never be forgotten or taken for granted.

I know I have talked about it in previous blogs, particularly in ‘The importance of being honest’, but I can’t over emphasise the importance of talking to people, especially when we are feeling down or vulnerable. I have to be honest in that I have spent most of my life being a closed book, and had almost been proud of the fact. It was no ones fault but my own. I was regularly being asked if I was okay, and I would always answer the same way – ‘yeah, I’m okay’, or ‘not bad’ (an expression I NEVER use now). How many people do the same?

How many times are we actually saying ‘I’m pretty rubbish but what’s the point of talking about it. Things won’t change.’ We close the book and leave our feelings to deteriorate in doing so. It’s easier to do that, because we fear that by talking about what is making us feel down, it will make us feel worse. Or, that it wouldn’t help anyway. Again, I will put my hand up (as it were) and admit that person used to me. Poor me.

But, what about, when someone cares enough to keep asking, and then ask again. And, after asking again, and again, you realise that person really wants to hear what you have to say. They want you to open the book. How easier is it not to realise that person could be the one, along with your family and friends, who could be the one to bring the additional dimension to your moving further forward?

I would strongly urge each and every person I come into contact with to be ready and willing to open their book, because once it opens and those words come tumbling out, the world can feel like a whole better place.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 3

Well, I am blessed to have many, many reasons to be cheerful and I am lucky enough to have been able to write about them. For now, my 3rd reason to be cheerful will have to wait for another blog in the Spring. For now, I am glad that my book has been opened and I don’t intend to close it.

And, at that, I will close. I hope you have many reasons to be cheerful. Have a listen to The late, great Ian Dury. He’ll give you some reasons to be cheerful.

Take care.
Jon

The importance of being honest

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A view from the ground – ❤ 2 …………….. be #honest (with myself)

“Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from a struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices” – Paul Tournier

Wow! A bit of a heavy quote to open the latest ground based view at how #TeamDuke are progressing in 2017. As I’ve said before, these blogs are intended to celebrate our learnings with the hope that it helps you along the way. Hopefully, we can have some fun at the same time.

As those who have checked out the #TeamDuke and ❤2 ………….. be loved blogs, I’ve kind of talked a bit about …………. love! I guess my, almost, obsession with the subject has been borne out of the realisation that receiving and giving love has been a significant part of the #TeamDuke world following the change to our lives mid- 2016.

Over the last few years, I have been on a personal journey (I don’t like using that word as it sounds like 20th century management speak, but I can’t think of anything better at the moment. Has anyone noticed that one of the latest expressions in ‘super’? Super great; super lovely; super shut up!!!!).

I realised a few years ago that I’d got wrapped up too much in negative thinking. Envy, frustration, anger and half empty thinking were the order of the day. Those who know me, know I started on this journey with my, then, wife and I contributed to her book, These Wings Can Fly (still available through me. If you want to buy a copy, let me know. I intend to donate all money raised to a local charity supporting homeless people). It’s a great read, and from that book a View From The Ground was born. Since then, we have gone in our separate directions.

However, the journey we started has helped me to fully understand that retaining a positive outlook is critical not only for ones own development and health, but it, from a personal perspective, it has given the drive, desire, passion, to reach out (more management speak) and help as many people as possible. As I’ve discussed in a previous blog, 1 5 10, if one person can help one person, and that person helps someone else as a result, the multiplier effect is incredible.

Clearly, the events of last year challenged the ability to remain positive, but by receiving love, the positivity actually grew and has allowed me / us to give love.

But, and here I am again with my big butt (sic), what happens if you wake up not feeling positive. You wake up feeling sad, angry, lonely, or some other not positive emotion.

Do you pretend it’s not happening? Do you hide from it? Do you think f**k it, I knew this positive thinking was a waste of time? Do you even think, what’s the point, it would be easier for everyone else if I wasn’t here?

Now, as with all of my blogs, these words are how I deal with things. I am not qualified, I am not claiming to be a professional advisor (I’d love to be!!!!) but I write with a passion and a desire to try and help others. Hell, if I thought I could just inspire 1 person to feel there is true hope, I would feel like a king (rather than a Duke).

So, what happens when those not so positive emotions sweep in? For me, it has been a case of learning to stare the emotion in the face – like looking in the mirror – and acknowledging how I feel. I know that sounds obvious but I was quite that grave. The old me may have slid into denial and to hide from the emotion.
However, the braver thing to do is to deal with that emotion. It’s not wrong to feel sad, angry, lonely or whatever. We are after all only human. However, that is not to say that there are some who manage to walk through life in a permanent state of positivity. I admire them. As I admire my cat whose only thoughts revolve around food, warmth, love, and her sh!t box being cleaned.

But, actually being honest with yourself is also liberating – I have found. Accepting that not every day is going to feel awesome. It is awesome, of course, because we have as much, if not more, to be grateful for as we did in the previous day. But, and again it’s a but (not bottom), we have allowed something to occupy our mind that has triggered a not so positive feeling / emotion.

The magic is recognising it, understanding the cause, and then working on a way to plan out what can you do to deal with it. The damage can be if you hide from negative emotion. Again, I have found, through personal mistakes (another word I don’t like), that by hiding from those not positive thoughts and emotions I built a multi-layer of negativity which after a while resulted in me popping like a champagne cork (no rude images please).

At worse, it’s happened twice – the most recent was just short of 2 months again. Not as dramatic as the first, as I recognised the signs and took preventative action. However, only after I went and sought a solution was I told by some of those close to me that they had been concerned.

So, I promise you, when I write as I have above, it is from personal experience – not because I feel I have a level of educational learning that I am seeking to impart.

And, there you have it. My different take on #honesty. I guess I could have called the blog ‘Honesty + Acceptance = Happiness. But I’m not that clever.

To finish – a quote from a man who is that clever – “Happiness can exist only in acceptance” – George Orwell.

Take care; be happy. But, if you wake up not feeling happy, I hope the above words give you hope. As I said, if these blogs help just one person – job done. My dream, to do the same for many thousands. I can only do that with your continued help and support. Please share these blogs and ask people to join the View From The Ground Facebook page, blog site, and Twitter.

Thank you.

 

Jon

❤ 2 …………….. #BeLoved

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View From The Ground

“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones you accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you you no matter what.” – Unknown

So, we return with another view of life from the ground and, without apology, I return to look deeper at love, family, and friends.

When I say deeper, following the #TeamDuke blog (thank you to everyone who took time to read it and share a piece of my world. Thank you also for the wonderful feedback. It means so much to know that the blog resonated so much), I would like to share more about the Team Duke journey and look at the extended members of Team Duke and their contribution to our life and how we are continuing to grow strength from their strength. But also how the inner collective of Team Duke, being me, Ben, and Liv move forward together. And let’s not forget the starring role of Zeekee.

My intention through sharing our development is to show that there is hope for everyone. As I’ve said previously, we have had our dark hour – or, as some would say, our dark night of the soul – but, as I featured in the #TeamDuke blog, we were blessed to have light provided through incredible family and friends. And, as the quote above says, family isn’t always blood so effectively we have all joined as family.

I know I’ve featured the definition of love in previous blogs but I found this, which I believe sums up what we have been lucky enough to experience – “Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful. If you find it, don’t let it go.”

It’s funny – not in a ROFLMAO sort of way – but I always thought I understood love until the dark hour came. Only then did I truly start to understand love. The sacrifices that people made in the quest to support us; the happiness that people brought to us; and the light that was shone.

I’d previously been very focussed on doing my own thing, but a big, big lesson that was learned quickly was, if help and support is offered – accept it gratefully and gracefully. The more you say ‘yes’ the more the offers flow – ‘come round for a me or we’ll bring the food to you’, ‘do you fancy some company’, ‘do want to meet for a drink – wine, coffee, tea, whatever’ etc. Just say ‘yes’.

It’s good for the soul to feel the love, to be loved. When the support comes in, it tops up your strength to then look after the inner family – in our case, Team Duke. Over the last 6 months or so the support has been constant and consistent and for that we send our love to each and every person who has been there for us. Your support – in what ever form it has been – has been so appreciated. You make feel a quick text or Facebook message is nothing, but you hey all mean so much. To know people are there.

So, my advice for those who have tough times, accept every offer of help because you are blessed to have such wonderful people around you. I promise to be there for who ever needs me.

And then, there’s the continuing development of Team Duke. I talk (maybe too much) about where we were and where we are in the previous blog. But, as I have previously discussed, I never though the Team Duke could get closer, but how wrong could I be. It’s the small things, and it’s the big things. But, the main point is our bond is so strong.

I think a key learning for us, and something I talk about when ever I get chance is that we talk, and then we talk some more.

As a family we have always had our meals around the dining room table. We have always been a communicative family. But, since that dark hour, his need to communicate has been more and more important. To talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. It doesn’t matter, just talk. Then, it’s looking for the telltale signs that something is not good. When asking ‘how’s things?’, if the answer is ‘okay; ‘yeah, alright ‘; ‘not bad’ (double negative), I always dig deeper. But, it’s not just about me. Ben and Liv do the same. We’re a team of 3 (plus Zeekee) initially, so we look out for each other. We look after each other. And we always talk, whether up and or somewhere in between.

My learning has been the importance of verbalising not bottling up. To bottle up is, I believe dangerous and bad for your health. Eventually, the risk os of popping like a champagne cork.

And to close. Again, as featured in the #TeamDuke blog, I’ve learned to love a good hug. I’ve never been a tactile person but, as I’ve talked about above, I don’t refuse an offer these days. So, hugs have become a feature. Thank you to all for the offers 😀.

Even the offer at 5:00 am this morning from Ben. I’m a light sleeper, so when I heard voices from the living room, I was a bit concerned, only to find that Ben and Liv were talking. Ben had just got home from a ‘good’ night out; Liv is a late sleeper. The sound of my large feet resulted in a beaming Ben appearing with the hug offer. You can’t say no!

Okay. That’s it for now. I hope you’ve enjoy the update. The next blog may be back to one of my other passions. Who knows. I hope you’re enjoyed the read.

Lots of love

Jon

#TeamDuke

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View From The Ground

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me….You may not realise it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” —Walt Disney

As I woke this morning, I looked around, and just thought about what a lucky person I am. I love where we live – that was a good start.

Then, I thought about my wonderful son, Ben, in the next room. My son, best friend, and an incredible person – full of fun, charm, cheek, intelligence, and love.

In the room across from him was my beautiful daughter, Liv. My daughter, best friend and another incredible person – full of passion, determination, fun, intelligence, and love. They, of course, have a lot more but, in the unlikely chance they read this blog, I don’t want to embarrass them.

Just outside my door, in the 4th member of #TeamDuke – our beautiful cat, Zeekee. I hope she understands the love she brings to the house and the love we have for her. If someone had told me 12 months ago I would be so attached to an animal I would have questioned just how well they know me. But, attached I am / we are. She has seen us through our tough times and has provided a constant throughout – love!

I’m aware that through View From The Ground I have been quite expressive this year already. I have alluded to the tough time that we have faced without providing any detail. That will remain the case for many reasons, but primarily, I don’t believe in airing the dirty laundry in public; we all have to face tough times and ours compared to others are small; and my quest is to move forward and not keep looking back. Of course, I don’t want anyone to think I am playing ‘poor me’. I’ll leave that to others better qualified.

However, as I have said, I am going to focus a lot of the 2017 blogs on the theme of ‘❤ 2 …………’. The idea being to look at those things we can do to make this an incredible year. So far I have looked at ‘❤ 2 …………….. make things happen‘ and ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’.

But, as I thought though things this morning, I started to understand that my driving force for the theme of these blogs is #TeamDuke. We have talked about making 2017 an incredible year, and about the need to be, and remain, positive.

And, I guess, when writing about my blessing of #TeamDuke, I am hoping that it helps you to look at your own space and I feel the love that you have around you.

In reality, when I talk about #TeamDuke and refer to Ben and Liv (and Zeekee), the actual collective is so much bigger than that. We are blessed, yes blessed, to have such wonderful family and friends around us. People who send random messages checking on us, dropping round to the house because they felt compelled to come (you know who you are ❤), who provide hugs (I’m not tactile but I’ve learned to love hugs), invitations to go out for a beer, more hugs, and so on. To each and every person who have been there / are there, we truly love you. I know we will all make sure 2017 is bl00dy brilliant.

To those who have maybe presented the challenges that saw such a change in our life direction – thank you. Without intending it, you have been the catalyst for the beautiful creation that we call #TeamDuke. We are strong, we are happy, and we are #love. I dedicate this blog to you.

I appreciate this has been a little self indulgent but my intention is to provide hope to anyone facing adversity. The Walt Disney quote at the start of the blog is so true. I would recommend using that adversity to give you the strength to smash through any wall of doubt and be strong.

Have a great day.

Love from #TeamDuke