#TeamDuke It’s a family affair

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 …………………… keeping loving #TeamDuke

“The most important thing in the world is family and love.” – John Wooden

“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox

“In every conceivable manner, the family is link to our past, bridge to our future.” – Alex Haley

3 quotes for the price of 1. You’re very welcome.

Here we are skipping towards the summer, and here I am, reflecting – AGAIN – on life from my rather grounded view of the world.

I consider myself lucky to be able to observe from this grounded position, as I try and look at what is in front of me. I guess it’s what makes me the person that I am.

Today, I want to celebrate the family. Simple as that. Family again, I hear you ask? Yes, my dear friend, family.

I am lucky when I look out at my family. I was extremely lucky to have been raised by a wonderful mum and dad. They are the reason for me being who I am today. Beyond that, I am grateful to have 2 brothers, who are great friends, and then there are my wonderful sisters in law and nephews, aunt and cousin. And then, there are the great brothers and sisters in law and nephews and nieces on my ex wife’s side of this awesome family. And then, her aunts, uncles, cousins etc etc. And then, my incredible friends, who are as much family as friends.

But, of course, I then look at the family who provide the shield of love at home. Ben, Liv, Ringo, Zeekee, and now Audrey. The unconditional love that they bring can never be under estimated.

And, I guess, that’s where this blog kicks in.

As any discerning reader will know, Ben and Liv’s mum walked out of the family home nearly a year ago. Yes, she walked away from her family – including all of the above wonderful souls. I understand that she believes that she followed her path. No, she walked out and now suggests that her husband, son, and daughter did not support her on her quest. I’ll leave it there, as the purpose of the blog is not to throw mud. However, I think a little humanistic honesty is required. Clearly, I am happy to debate this point – off-line.

So, the last year has been a hell of a ride for #TeamDuke, but the above is where the story started.

As those who have followed the story of #TeamDuke through this year’s blogs, I have looked to celebrate. Yes, celebrate. You can never under estimate the lowest of the low point from where we started. Ben was away at Camp America when he heard what had happened. Liv was suffering from her own challenges. Me? This isn’t about me. This, as I’ve said is a celebration. Of course there has been bitterness. I’m human. I believe I’m loving, caring and loyal. So, the starting point was low.

But, in the last year, the power of the family has been immense. However, for the purpose of this blog, I am going to focus on the wonderment of who I am honoured to call my son and daughter. I want to raise a glass to them, and celebrate our life together.

Ben – for so many years, we have been close. We share a love of music and rugby league. But, it’s so much more than that. He described me as being more like a brother. How awesome is that! I always thought I would get to the point where I would be fading out pottering along behind him at the Leeds Festival. Well, how wrong could I be! This year, Ben will be 23 and HE’S paying for me to go with him. Words fail me.

Ben is such a steadying influence on his sister. Obviously they have spats. But they are so close and, at times of frustration about their absent mother, they support each other.

I don’t think Ben truly understands what a wonderful, loving, funny, charming young man he is. Sorry if I’m being a tad gushing but, it is a family affair and as #TeamDuke we want to inspire others to realise all hope has not gone. Hope is really as long as there is love.

Liv – well, where do I start. A more beautiful, understated soul I am yet to meet. Liv constantly talks about lacking confidence, but when the going gets tough, Liv rises above all others and defeats whatever is placed in front of her.

The last year has been tough for Liv, perhaps longer. It has been suggested Liv is dramatic. No, she’s honest!

Liv was there for me in the early days of ‘well, I didn’t see that coming’; days of feeling rejected.

Liv has some much love in her heart and has grown with such strength.

As a collective, I didn’t think #TeamDuke could be any closer. Through the sharing of love, support, laughter, and a few tears, we have and will continue to do so.

Ben and Liv know I’m there for them 24 / 7, but I know they are for me – although I’m not sure how Liv would react if I woke her at 4 am to tell her there was a moth in my room. Or how Ben would react if I woke him up at 4 am to tell him I’m home from a night out clubbing, and then lay with him for 15 minutes for a chat.

I love it!

And, let’s not forget Ringo (dog) and Zeekee (cat). The positive energy, the unconditional love, and the fun that they bring to our home. 18 months ago I would not have wanted another animal in the house – the latest hamster going to the great wheel in the sky some months before. However, I was so wrong. We are very lucky and I am grateful for the day I woke up.

It would be remiss not to say a few words about Audrey. For so long, friends with a common interest in music and the regular chat around mindfulness, basic spiritual stuff, books on positive thinking, and a bit of psychology. However, here we are, a few months in and going strong. Apart from the happiness that Audrey has ignited within me, she has also provided incredible support and companionship already that Ben and Liv.

Finally, I know I refer to how lucky I am to have such incredible friends. In this blog, I want to name check the phenomenal Ramsdens. I have been close to Steve and Susan for many years, but the support that they have given me / #TeamDuke has been beyond words. I could never find the words to express my gratitude to them. At those darker times, they would appear with a bottle of wine, a home made cake, a smile, and plenty of hugs. Thank you ❤️.

In essence, it is a family affair. Be that blood family or members who have joined along the way.

Sorry if the blog has been a bit indulgent. Also, sorry if I have embarrassed anyone through being overly emotional.

And sorry if I have offended my ex-wife.

Vivienne – this is not the intention. I know you won’t be reading this but I am just saying it as it is – let’s say in the 3rd dimension. In fact, I have so much to be grateful to you for, and for that I thank you. #TeamDuke are strong; we are alive and kicking. Ben and Liv have some of your positive characteristics from when you were there for them, as their mum. We do not judge. We observe. We do not carry self pity. We carry emotions and, thankfully, those emotions are intact. Ben and Liv love you from their hearts. I’ll leave it there. I hope as your 50th birthday passes, you can reach inside and remember what role a mum has to play in their children’s lives. You had one of the best role models I can think of.

God bless. It is a family affair.

 

Jon

 

 

Animal house. #TeamDuke – a year to remember

Posted on by View from the ground

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👁❤️2 ……………………….. pick up the poo from the ground………. not a nice view
And so another View From The Ground blog starts with a quote. Not one; not two; yes, threes quotes. Why? Well, in truth, I tried to copy / paste one quote but seemed to collect three. However, in reality I love these quotes as the capture the theme of the latest, all singing and dancing, #TeamDuke update. So, welcome again to regular readers, new readers, and those who are just curious at what may unfold before their eyes.

“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou

“Two roads diverged in the road and I took the one less traveled by, and that made all the difference.” – Robert Frost

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Please bear with me as I unwind what is whirling around in my head. The title of the blog captures three themes, whereas as the sub-title captures what I capture from one of those themes. Mmmmm, now that’s something to behold.

So, I hope life is treating you well and that you are treating life well. Now, there’s a thought straight away – how many of us expect life to be good to us rather than us being good to life? Confused? Let me expand, as this idea has just dropped in.

When we wake up, do we a) groan; or b) express gratitude for a new day? Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m an a) and b) kind of guy these days and am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

Once we are up and about, do we a) dread the day; or b) enjoy the moment and work on making the best out of the day ahead. Now, if the answer is a), there’s work to do. If the answer is b) you’re in a brilliant place and can stand up and take a round of applause. Me? I’m less a) and more b) and, again, am proud to have developed away from just being an almighty a++) person.

I hope you get the picture. It’s useful exercise and one I personally try to do regularly to switch my old, natural, pessimistic self, into a more positive focussed person. As those who know me well will confirm, it’s a road I still travel daily and I do have occasional slips along the way.

The core at the #TeamDuke base – as featured in the last blog – Our House – is now, an old man (me), a young man (Ben), a young lady (Liv), a cat – the boss (The Zeek), and a dog – a doofus (Ringo).

If someone has said that our home would be made up of 3 humans, a cat and a dog a year ago I’d have thought they were thinking about another home. However, here we are! A veritable animal house and loving it.

The Zeek joined us 16 months ago and is a beautiful , majestic animal. She’s the boss and we all know that.

However, welcoming Ringo into the home has been a completely different experience. Liv has wanted a dog for years but I steadfastly held out that it just wouldn’t work. Recent times have softened me and here we are, With a great big doofus of a border collie.

It’s also being a big thing for Ben, who has always felt uncomfortable around dogs. But, Ben recognised that bringing a dog into the home would be good for Liv, so he gracefully agreed.

And, here we are, Ringo joined us and introduced me to having to deal with the poo from the ground. Nice! However, the many, many wonderful things he has brought to our home have, at times, being overwhelming.

I’ve seen on Facebook a picture of a man and a dog, sitting by a lake with thought bubbles over their heads. The man’s is full of work, money, news, relationships, anger, etc. The dog’s just has an image of the lake, as that is all he sees. I’ve always liked this image, but never really understood it.

But with Ringo, I fully get it now. I know all dog owners will understand this but please bear with me, as this is new experience for #TeamDuke.

The morning is the best example. I roll out of bed, feeling the gratitude for doing so of course. I stumble around the house, doing my best to be positive but remembering the things I need to do in the day, growling at a slightly loose tap (faucet), grumbling that Liv has left the bathroom light on …………. again, reminding myself I need to put some fuel in the day, and so on.

The Zeek wanders around close by, looking at her food bowl and wondering how Donald Trump is the most powerful person in the world. She’s very intelligent. And then, I open the downstairs door to Ringo. Does he leap with delight at seeing me? Does he run around looking for food? Does he ask me whether I’m worried that Theresa May has called at election and she won’t have any dogs standing to be elected for parliament? Nope! He looks at the door and telepathically tells me he’s got a gift for me. Another poo from the ground.

After that, and breakfast, the magic begins. My head is still awash with the day (positively of course), but it’s time to ask the question – “where’s your lead?”. This is where the perspective kicks in and I tune into Ringo’s frequency. Those words trigger unbelievable excitement as he Runs in circles. I can’t help but be swept up by his enthusiasm. No work, money, news, anger issues can break into this bubble of fun. He leaps trying to get into his harness and we end up leaping around together. Yes, dear folk who are used to my scowling, grumpy face, I leap about. It’s impossible not to.

And, that the magic. All of us in #TeamDuke have been effected by the joy for life that Ringo has injected into our home – even The Zeek.

As I said, all dog owners will resonate with this but, for me, this has been such an awakening. My dream for these blogs is to share our learnings and to, hopefully, bring a smile and even some hope when it’s needed. I want people to feel our happiness and, in turn, feel happy.

So, 2017, a year to remember. That was the plan at the start of the year and that continues to be the #TeamDuke mission. So far, so good. As we look at our achievements so far, Ben is doing great at work and is looking forward to a summer of music festivals; Liv has been to Belgium and Denmark this year, going on her own. Such a step forward; me? Well, as I have alluded I have someone in my life now – Audrey. It’s early days but the magic is there to be seen and felt. Im truly grateful for the joy Audrey has brought to me, but also, in turn, to #TeamDuke.

Ben and Liv are such wonderful people and, in the last 10 months, we have really learned about the strength of #TeamDuke. I am so blessed to have such an awesome son and daughter.

Life for #TeamDuke is on an upward trajectory. But we will never take what we have for granted. We are grateful for every day and for everything we have.

And, at this point, I will wrap up another #TeamDuke update. Ringo needs a walk and I’m looking forward to letting the dog out, and having a jump around.

I wish you peace, happiness and that you also have a year to remember.

Jon

Lessons in love. #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

 

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View From The Ground – ❤2 ………………… have found my thing

As we scamper towards the start of a new season, it feels like new life, new experiences and new hope are just in front. Can that be? Let’s explore 😀.

Welcome to the latest ground based observations and worldly words in the continued experiences of #TeamDuke.

Now, I accept, those who know me will struggle with the idea of me scampering, particularly with my excess baggage physique and my enjoyment of, well, not scampering. However, a wordsmith I’m not (no sh!t Sherlock) and I couldn’t think of a better word – so, deal with it ………….. please.

Anyway, let me continue. Those who have looked into previous blogs will know I have a leaning for starting each blog with a quote. As observed in the last blog – 55 reasons to be grateful. #TeamDuke – I don’t know why I do this, but I feels good, and we all like something that feels good. Don’t we? Or maybe it just my thing? Mmmmm, now there’s another hashtag idea – #MyThing.

So, back to quotes. The idea for them comes from the theme of the blog. Well, this time, I’m a bit all over the place theme wise, so here’s 2 quotes to celebrate where my head is right now (not literally as the quote would need to be pillow and bed themed. Sorry, not the best image to plant in your head).

“Learn to enjoy every minute of your life. Be happy now. Don’t wait for something outside of yourself to make you happy in the future. Think how really precious is the time you have to spend, whether it’s at work or with your family. Every minute should be enjoyed and savoured.” – Earl Nightingale

“You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu

So, happiness and family are where I am, thinking-wise. No change there for 2017 I can hear being murmured, and you’re right. Those have been 2 of my key topics. As I’ve said before, I would like to use the #TeamDuke related blogs to spread some happiness and to focus on how we can all, hopefully, pull together to make this a better place to live. Particularly at times of uncertainty and at times when all we read is about negativity and hatred.

I admit that I have a tendency to think about things deeply and over the last 2 or 3 weeks of blog silence I have been thinking about my own personal development. As I have previously observed, the 2nd half of 2016 was truly horrendous for me, Ben and Liv – along with others. However, out of adversity, and the unbelievable love and support, we formed an even closer bond / unity and strength (which we didn’t think possible) and #TeamDuke became the calling cry. The call to arms.

The power of love can be overwhelming. As Holly Johnson so wonderfully said “The power of love. A force from above. Cleaning my soul. Flame on burn desire. Love with tongues of fire. Purge the soul. Make love your goal.” Now, a question, do those lyrics make you think of Christmas? Bizarre. A song which has nothing to do with that time of year but, because it was in the charts over a Christmas many years ago, it features every Christmas.

Sorry, I’m going off on a tangent. Too much tea!

So, I have been thinking, as I feel like #TeamDuke have turned a big corner, what lessons in love have we learned and can share in the hope that these lessons can help, maybe inspire, others. If we can help one person, who helps another, then our mission is truly working.

Talking of corners, that made me think about the song by George Michael, Different Corner. In turn, that made me think about what we can all learn from the sadly departed man. To give is a wonderful thing. To help others is a wonderful thing. To have the financial ability to do both, but to do it without seeking publicity, just through having such a good heart is magnificent. May the man rest in the peace that he deserves.

With regards to the following lessons, these are just things that have impacted on me, on us. I’m not preaching but just wanted to share some of the things that have helped so far this year. As I’ve said before, let’s make 2017 a year to remember for good reasons. That’s #MyThing. #TeamDuke.

* Don’t judge; do be open minded (within the realms of decency) – how easy is it to look at something / someone and immediately place our own thinking or ‘standards’ on that situation or person? Who are we to judge? Surely, we are better placed to learn? Our learning might be that we still don’t feel comfortable and at least we have learned. Now, this is a big one for me. I accept I’m a traditionalist so I can place, perhaps, limiting thinking to situations. So, this year an open minded approach to life has been eye opening and liberating. But, with the caveat of decency (ooo, eeer, missus) and ensuring that the situation does not have a negative impact on others.

* Look to love without limits – some may badge this as ‘unconditional love’. Even with my newly opened mind, I wouldn’t. Why? Because, my experience of ‘unconditional love’ has been that there are conditions place on believing it. I do love a bit of irony. Thus why my learning has been to love without limits. Doing my thing for people without thinking about me. Doing it because I can and because it will help someone else. Simple.

#TeamDuke have seen great examples of this. 2 that spring to mind are both food related. Now, I’ve already referred to my excessive baggage physique and that tells a story of being blessed to enjoy food. But, of late, I’ve seen Ben willing volunteer to cook at least once a week. Now, some may say ‘big deal’. But arriving home to a freshly prepared meal is a real treat for me. And that meal is superb.

But, on one occasion, when I was returning late from London and I’d said to Ben I’d do a bacon sandwich when I got home, walking through the door to a wonderfully cook meal almost reduced me to tears. Love without limits.

The 2nd example involves Liv. Now Liv is not know for spending a lot of time in the kitchen – unless she’s making cookies. However, after one particular long and hard day at the desk (a good day, so I’m not complaining!), I phoned home to be asked what I wanted for the evening meal. Lo and behold, I walked through the door to a great meal. Wonderful! Love without limit.

I am truly blessed #TeamDuke.

* A friend in need has been neglected – a big lesson in love is that, in our time of unhappiness, we have needed for nothing. The love without limit has been stunning. To feel the support from all corners has given us not only strength but a reminder never to neglect anyone. Be a friend, be there. It’s the silence that speaks volumes so, if you have a friend who you haven’t heard from for a while, check in. They just might need you.

* Treat each day as a gift – this is an oldie but goldie. How ver, how many of us groan as we get out of bed (at least when we’re getting up for work). However, I have learned to be grateful that I can wake up, that I can get up, and that I can see, hear, smell, and feel the new day. I’m just saying.

* Smile, laugh, and give others a reason to join in – I’ve just been listening to an interview with Haemin Sunim who talked about the power of smiling, both for yourself and others. Simple again but just imagine. Now, many know I like a laugh but smiling, particularly on a Monday, is not so natural. But, as I have said above, the love that #TeamDuke have received gives us every reason to smile and I hope reading our story gives you reason to join in. #Smile with #TeamDuke.

* Try and do something every day for someone which in turn will encourage them to do a good act for someone else. The domino effect in reverse – I.e. Touch the first domino watch it touch the next domino, which is flat on the ground, and watch it rise, and so on. I think what I have said above gives a feel for how this works. It’s almost like a game of tig. Do something good for someone, tig them and pass it on and, hopefully, as they do something good for another person the magic begins. (I’m not sure how to spell tig, so if this is incorrect, tig me and let me know and I can pass it on)

And, so I was getting ready to close this latest look into our world until I saw a post for Facebook about Monday, 20 March being a global Day Of Happiness.

Now, a day of happiness on a Monday! However, I love the idea of a global day of happiness. If you want more details, have a look at http://www.dayofhappiness.net.

There is also http://www.actionforhappiness.org which looks at the broader concept of bring happiness to our dysfunctional world. What a lesson in love.

And, so, let’s finish with another quote . I hope this inspires you, as it has me.

“Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence” ~ Aristotle

I wish you much happiness.

 
Jon

55 reasons to be grateful. #TeamDuke

Posted on by View from the ground

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View From The Ground- ❤ 2 …………………… be grateful

Now, I usually open the blogs with a quote but before I do, I wanted to offer a heartfelt thanks that you have opened the link to another View From The Ground blog. I am always grateful that people take the time to read, and share, these blogs. I am not a qualified, trained, experienced writer. I set out to write from the heart, but in my own, authentic, voice.

My aim is to share my thoughts and experiences in the hope that they actually offer hope to others – particularly at times of darkness and challenge. But also, I want to share a bit of fun along the way. I am aware that, perhaps, the blogs at times in the latter stages of 2016 were a tad ‘pointed’, but, as I have said in previous blogs this year, the focus is on making 2017 the best year yet – for #TeamDuke and for as many others as we can possibly reach.

Now, I know my blog earlier in the week – Anger Is An Energy – was, how do i put this, angry but that was just a reflection of my frustration about homelessness. If you haven’t seen it, or did see it and thought ‘Anger? I don’t like the sound of that. Where has all the happy clapper stuff gone?’, I would ask that you have a read. As I said, it’s a call to arms to try and eliminate homelessness.

Anyway, moving back to my rambling, rather than ranting.

After reflecting on my mission to make this the best year yet for #TeamDuke, it all got me thinking about the theme for this blog and what quote to use. The theme of the blog is usually the thinking for the quote. Although actually – other than the continued growth of #TeamDuke – does there always need to be a theme? Let’s see how this blog develops.

I’m not a Paris Hilton fan and, word has it, she’s not keen on me. When I say she’s not keen on me, she doesn’t know who I am and therefore I’m probably doing her a great dis – service. If she met me, she’d love me. Of course!! Anyway, I liked these words from her – “The way I see it, you should live everyday like its your birthday”.

Okay, so with those words in my mind and, as I have just passed another milestone (as in age, not toiletry movement). Reaching an age where, as a Liv tells me, I am now closer to 60 than 50 has been a bit of a moment. It is my first birthday in the era of #TeamDuke, as in it being me, Ben and Liv (not forgetting The Zeek).

There is no doubt, we should all live each day like it’s your birthday as we wake up to the greatest gift of all – life.

But, then I have reflected on another great gift I have been granted in this new chapter in my life – happiness. And, happiness is certainly something I will always be grateful to all of those who have enabled me find again true happiness and what a gift it is.

I love a quote I found – “I shall take the heart. For brains do not make one happy, and happiness is the best thing in the world.” ― L. Frank Baum, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz.

I will remain eternally grateful to Ben and Liv for all they have done and all that they are doing for me. I am also grateful to my wonderful family and friends for the support that they continue to provide and the happiness that brings.

As we move towards Spring, that sense of happiness accentuates as new life starts to grow around us. The sight and smell of new life. The lighter days and nights to enjoy walks with friends or loved ones, or friends who have become loved ones.

For those of us who are lucky enough to walk, it is a gift that takes no money to enjoy.

I must admit, I am always grateful to Ben when I get home from work and he suggests grabbing a walk, and talk. It’s a beautiful thing to be blessed with a son who wants to have a regular walk with his old man.

And then I reflect on my day of celebrating moving closer to being 60 years old. The awesome time with #TeamDuke; the phone calls from family, the multitude of Facebook messages, and the visits from friends on or around the big day.

There was a time when I really struggled to celebrate my own big day. But with the advent of rediscovering happiness, I celebrate whatever and when ever I can. One day, I may even remember smile a bit more. I am smiling inside. I just struggle to smile outwardly. Maybe I’m a bit worried that someone might rip it away …… again. I don’t know why I worry as I know I am lucky enough to know now that I am surrounded by true, unconditional, love.

Is that 55 reasons to be grateful? I don’t know because maybe the blog title should just be ‘every reason to be grateful’.

I truly believe that there is always a reason to be grateful. Sometimes, when it feels like life has dealt us a few blows, I understand it can be hard to see reasons to be grateful. It’s at those moments I look at The Zeek.

Every morning, she comes downstairs with me and sits on the kitchen looking at me until I stroke her at which point she purrs and rolls on the floor (if only human life was that easy). After the stroke fest has been completed she sits again until I’ve got her food and drink sorted. After that, she may walk upstarts and leave me a little gift in her sh!t box to deal with. After that, she will lay next to the radiator for warmth. After that she will have a sleep.

My point? The Zeek is grateful for all of the above, and she is happy. She dos not worry about the weather. She does not worry about what might happen in 2 hours. She does not worry about what story is being peddled by a world leader about what has or hasn’t happened in Sweden. She doesn’t worry about Brexit, even though I’ve talked to her about it in detail. She doesn’t worry about our plans to get a dog. Mainly because she speak Cat, not English.

So, I try and follow The Zeek’s lead. And with that, when I get to work and I’m asked how I am maybe I should respond ‘meow purr meow meow purr’.

And, so to close, I guess you could say the journey to feel and enjoy true happiness continues. So far, it feels good, but then I know that it should.

Take care, and I hope your life is filled with love and reasons to be grateful and to be happy.
Jon

 

Reasons to be cheerful 1 2 3 (#TeamDuke and the #family and #friends)

Posted on by View from the ground

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View From The Ground – ❤ 2 ……………… be cheerful

“We tend to focus on our problems in life and to take for granted our blessings and achievements. It is natural that we think about the difficulties we face and the challenges we have to overcome but there is a real danger that when we do this we can become become weighed down with worry or negative feelings. It is good to step back for a moment from our day to day cares and to list all the things that are going well in our life. It will give us a positive lift and help to put our problems into perspective.” – Paul Sloane

Hello and welcome to another view from the ground. Here we are, at the start of the second month of 2017 and another step in what has been set as an awesome year.

I truly hope that it is an awesome year from all, in and amongst the continued lunacy that is spread before us on the news. I don’t need to go into detail and, of course, we all have different views as to what us going on around us. I still wish someone would launch a new channel that featured good news only. Imagine that! Of course, the owners of our news media would not allow that. They need us to live in fear. Whoops, sorry – dangerous opinion alert 😀.

Anyway, my intention is to focus on positivity and to help anyone and everyone who want to join #TeamDuke on our adventures in 2017.

The blogs so far this year have been a step away from last year’s blogs. But the intentions are the same – to provide help and support to others; to provide hope; and to hopefully have some fun.

There’s a book in the making. The original draft from last year needs a complete rewrite, to reflect the change in direction that my life has taken. The new book is taking shape and there’ll be more news on that.

I hope the blogs are providing, at the very least, some entertainment and beyond that an injection of positivity. And, that where the idea for reasons to be cheerful came from. Again, reflecting on the ‘have’ not the ‘have not’. A quick listen to the brilliant song by Ian Dury, which includes “Something nice to study, phoning up a buddy. Being in my nuddy. Saying hokey-dokey, Sing along with Smokey”, provided the encouragement to reflect the many reasons to be cheerful, and here’s not 1, not 2, but 3.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 1

I know I have talked a lot about #TeamDuke. But I am fiercely proud of our bond, our love, our unity, and our friendship. I hope to inspire others that, in the face of our collective adversity that we have become so strong and are now purely focussed on continuing to move forwards.

A big commitment Ben, Liv and I have made is to be always there for each other and to be ready to talk at any time. So, there’s nothing like a good chat at 4:00 am. #TeamDuke is a 24/7 thing. To share the highs, the lows, and the fuzzy bits in the middle. But a great learning I have experienced is based on one of the oldest sayings – life is short, so don’t waste a minute of it.

I know sleep is important for our mental well being and I know it is one if the first things I recommend that people should be wary of. But, I wouldn’t want to miss the chance of a chilled chat with Ben or Liv at whatever time. So, when a rather ‘relaxed’ Ben appears at the bedroom door at 4:00 am checking on how I am, it’s not an opportunity I am going to miss. And a good chat it was. I love the connection the 3 of us have. Before coming in to talk to me, Ben and Liv had been chewing the cud in the living room (lounge; front room; or what ever you call it). Again, awesome!

I know what we have is not exclusive. I really don’t want it to be. I want this kind of connection to be enjoyed by everyone. What a wonderful world that would be, and what a great news story it would me. If it was allowed to make the news.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 2

As I have said before, family and friends are critical to the rise of #TeamDuke. My love and appreciation of their / your support will never be forgotten or taken for granted.

I know I have talked about it in previous blogs, particularly in ‘The importance of being honest’, but I can’t over emphasise the importance of talking to people, especially when we are feeling down or vulnerable. I have to be honest in that I have spent most of my life being a closed book, and had almost been proud of the fact. It was no ones fault but my own. I was regularly being asked if I was okay, and I would always answer the same way – ‘yeah, I’m okay’, or ‘not bad’ (an expression I NEVER use now). How many people do the same?

How many times are we actually saying ‘I’m pretty rubbish but what’s the point of talking about it. Things won’t change.’ We close the book and leave our feelings to deteriorate in doing so. It’s easier to do that, because we fear that by talking about what is making us feel down, it will make us feel worse. Or, that it wouldn’t help anyway. Again, I will put my hand up (as it were) and admit that person used to me. Poor me.

But, what about, when someone cares enough to keep asking, and then ask again. And, after asking again, and again, you realise that person really wants to hear what you have to say. They want you to open the book. How easier is it not to realise that person could be the one, along with your family and friends, who could be the one to bring the additional dimension to your moving further forward?

I would strongly urge each and every person I come into contact with to be ready and willing to open their book, because once it opens and those words come tumbling out, the world can feel like a whole better place.

Reasons to be cheerful, part 3

Well, I am blessed to have many, many reasons to be cheerful and I am lucky enough to have been able to write about them. For now, my 3rd reason to be cheerful will have to wait for another blog in the Spring. For now, I am glad that my book has been opened and I don’t intend to close it.

And, at that, I will close. I hope you have many reasons to be cheerful. Have a listen to The late, great Ian Dury. He’ll give you some reasons to be cheerful.

Take care.
Jon

The importance of being honest

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A view from the ground – ❤ 2 …………….. be #honest (with myself)

“Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from a struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices” – Paul Tournier

Wow! A bit of a heavy quote to open the latest ground based view at how #TeamDuke are progressing in 2017. As I’ve said before, these blogs are intended to celebrate our learnings with the hope that it helps you along the way. Hopefully, we can have some fun at the same time.

As those who have checked out the #TeamDuke and ❤2 ………….. be loved blogs, I’ve kind of talked a bit about …………. love! I guess my, almost, obsession with the subject has been borne out of the realisation that receiving and giving love has been a significant part of the #TeamDuke world following the change to our lives mid- 2016.

Over the last few years, I have been on a personal journey (I don’t like using that word as it sounds like 20th century management speak, but I can’t think of anything better at the moment. Has anyone noticed that one of the latest expressions in ‘super’? Super great; super lovely; super shut up!!!!).

I realised a few years ago that I’d got wrapped up too much in negative thinking. Envy, frustration, anger and half empty thinking were the order of the day. Those who know me, know I started on this journey with my, then, wife and I contributed to her book, These Wings Can Fly (still available through me. If you want to buy a copy, let me know. I intend to donate all money raised to a local charity supporting homeless people). It’s a great read, and from that book a View From The Ground was born. Since then, we have gone in our separate directions.

However, the journey we started has helped me to fully understand that retaining a positive outlook is critical not only for ones own development and health, but it, from a personal perspective, it has given the drive, desire, passion, to reach out (more management speak) and help as many people as possible. As I’ve discussed in a previous blog, 1 5 10, if one person can help one person, and that person helps someone else as a result, the multiplier effect is incredible.

Clearly, the events of last year challenged the ability to remain positive, but by receiving love, the positivity actually grew and has allowed me / us to give love.

But, and here I am again with my big butt (sic), what happens if you wake up not feeling positive. You wake up feeling sad, angry, lonely, or some other not positive emotion.

Do you pretend it’s not happening? Do you hide from it? Do you think f**k it, I knew this positive thinking was a waste of time? Do you even think, what’s the point, it would be easier for everyone else if I wasn’t here?

Now, as with all of my blogs, these words are how I deal with things. I am not qualified, I am not claiming to be a professional advisor (I’d love to be!!!!) but I write with a passion and a desire to try and help others. Hell, if I thought I could just inspire 1 person to feel there is true hope, I would feel like a king (rather than a Duke).

So, what happens when those not so positive emotions sweep in? For me, it has been a case of learning to stare the emotion in the face – like looking in the mirror – and acknowledging how I feel. I know that sounds obvious but I was quite that grave. The old me may have slid into denial and to hide from the emotion.
However, the braver thing to do is to deal with that emotion. It’s not wrong to feel sad, angry, lonely or whatever. We are after all only human. However, that is not to say that there are some who manage to walk through life in a permanent state of positivity. I admire them. As I admire my cat whose only thoughts revolve around food, warmth, love, and her sh!t box being cleaned.

But, actually being honest with yourself is also liberating – I have found. Accepting that not every day is going to feel awesome. It is awesome, of course, because we have as much, if not more, to be grateful for as we did in the previous day. But, and again it’s a but (not bottom), we have allowed something to occupy our mind that has triggered a not so positive feeling / emotion.

The magic is recognising it, understanding the cause, and then working on a way to plan out what can you do to deal with it. The damage can be if you hide from negative emotion. Again, I have found, through personal mistakes (another word I don’t like), that by hiding from those not positive thoughts and emotions I built a multi-layer of negativity which after a while resulted in me popping like a champagne cork (no rude images please).

At worse, it’s happened twice – the most recent was just short of 2 months again. Not as dramatic as the first, as I recognised the signs and took preventative action. However, only after I went and sought a solution was I told by some of those close to me that they had been concerned.

So, I promise you, when I write as I have above, it is from personal experience – not because I feel I have a level of educational learning that I am seeking to impart.

And, there you have it. My different take on #honesty. I guess I could have called the blog ‘Honesty + Acceptance = Happiness. But I’m not that clever.

To finish – a quote from a man who is that clever – “Happiness can exist only in acceptance” – George Orwell.

Take care; be happy. But, if you wake up not feeling happy, I hope the above words give you hope. As I said, if these blogs help just one person – job done. My dream, to do the same for many thousands. I can only do that with your continued help and support. Please share these blogs and ask people to join the View From The Ground Facebook page, blog site, and Twitter.

Thank you.

 

Jon

#TeamDuke

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View From The Ground

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me….You may not realise it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” —Walt Disney

As I woke this morning, I looked around, and just thought about what a lucky person I am. I love where we live – that was a good start.

Then, I thought about my wonderful son, Ben, in the next room. My son, best friend, and an incredible person – full of fun, charm, cheek, intelligence, and love.

In the room across from him was my beautiful daughter, Liv. My daughter, best friend and another incredible person – full of passion, determination, fun, intelligence, and love. They, of course, have a lot more but, in the unlikely chance they read this blog, I don’t want to embarrass them.

Just outside my door, in the 4th member of #TeamDuke – our beautiful cat, Zeekee. I hope she understands the love she brings to the house and the love we have for her. If someone had told me 12 months ago I would be so attached to an animal I would have questioned just how well they know me. But, attached I am / we are. She has seen us through our tough times and has provided a constant throughout – love!

I’m aware that through View From The Ground I have been quite expressive this year already. I have alluded to the tough time that we have faced without providing any detail. That will remain the case for many reasons, but primarily, I don’t believe in airing the dirty laundry in public; we all have to face tough times and ours compared to others are small; and my quest is to move forward and not keep looking back. Of course, I don’t want anyone to think I am playing ‘poor me’. I’ll leave that to others better qualified.

However, as I have said, I am going to focus a lot of the 2017 blogs on the theme of ‘❤ 2 …………’. The idea being to look at those things we can do to make this an incredible year. So far I have looked at ‘❤ 2 …………….. make things happen‘ and ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’.

But, as I thought though things this morning, I started to understand that my driving force for the theme of these blogs is #TeamDuke. We have talked about making 2017 an incredible year, and about the need to be, and remain, positive.

And, I guess, when writing about my blessing of #TeamDuke, I am hoping that it helps you to look at your own space and I feel the love that you have around you.

In reality, when I talk about #TeamDuke and refer to Ben and Liv (and Zeekee), the actual collective is so much bigger than that. We are blessed, yes blessed, to have such wonderful family and friends around us. People who send random messages checking on us, dropping round to the house because they felt compelled to come (you know who you are ❤), who provide hugs (I’m not tactile but I’ve learned to love hugs), invitations to go out for a beer, more hugs, and so on. To each and every person who have been there / are there, we truly love you. I know we will all make sure 2017 is bl00dy brilliant.

To those who have maybe presented the challenges that saw such a change in our life direction – thank you. Without intending it, you have been the catalyst for the beautiful creation that we call #TeamDuke. We are strong, we are happy, and we are #love. I dedicate this blog to you.

I appreciate this has been a little self indulgent but my intention is to provide hope to anyone facing adversity. The Walt Disney quote at the start of the blog is so true. I would recommend using that adversity to give you the strength to smash through any wall of doubt and be strong.

Have a great day.

Love from #TeamDuke

👁 ❤ 2 ……………… be positive

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View From The Ground – an individual take on making 2017 bl00dy brilliant!!!

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened” – Mark Twain

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone

Here we are again. So soon, but already bursting into 2017 and trying to live by that mantra of the last blog, ‘❤ 2 ……………….. Make Things Happen‘, focussing on the present and using this to move forward. Definitely not dwelling on the past.

Welcome back to the grounded view from which to watch everything unfold before us.

In the last blog – ❤ 2 ……………… Make Things Happen (have I already said that? Sorry, I enjoyed writing it) – I mentioned about launching ‘❤ 2……..’ as a regular feature in the View acromegaly The Ground blogs. The idea being to take about things I love, in the hope of spreading positivity and support. Well, I’ve gone for a variation on that theme already – ‘👁 ❤ 2’. Yes, you’ve got it ‘I love to ………..’. A bit goofy, but a nice hook I hope you agree.

Anyway, enough of the waffle and on with the subject in hand. Positivity. Ironic that I choose to look at positivity after one of the hardest years, and right into what many feel is the hardest month of the year. But, it is actually an easy subject to look at. Mainly, because it is a choice. Easy for me to day? Not really but, again, it’s a choice and, to be honest, it’s a daily exercise.

Let me expand (although, from a waistline point of view, any further expansion may require serious action). Those who know me will automatically smirk at the very title of this blog. Perhaps my old persona may have edged towards thinking good things wouldn’t happen; there’s a few clouds in the sky and therefore it’s going rain; it’s Monday so it will be a bad day. Actually, let’s park the discussion about Monday, that’s work in progress. But, I think you get the idea.

So, moving back to the subject in hand – I love to be positive. Don’t we all?

One of the exercises I have practiced recently is to look at: –

1. What makes me happy; and

2. What doesn’t make me happy.

I appreciate that it sounds simple, but by looking at these simple things it has provided the opportunity to then look deeper.

To start with, by thinking about what doesn’t make me happy, I then created a list. I found it quite easy – although I would ask that you don’t take that as an indication that I don’t love to be positive. I do, I do, I do.

But, by making a list of what doesn’t make me happy, it provides some focus. Things such as the following don’t make me happy: –

Dark mornings
Dark nights
Rain
Bad drivers
Rubbish TV
Monday mornings
Rude people
Delays on the train
Strikes
and so on ………………

Hopefully you get the idea. There’s loads more such as world poverty, war, hunger, homelessness, insufficient government spending on the life’s of schooling, hospitals, emergency services etc. But, let’s concentrate on the list.

I’m sure this seems obvious to many people but, by focusing on the list, I can then think about whether I can do anything to effect any of those items listed. Quite clearly I can’t – it’s as simple as that. So, if I can’t effect them what is the point of letting them make me unhappy.

I am sure, if you’ve got to this part of the blog you’re thinking that time it’s taken you to read the first 600 words of ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’ is time that you will never get back.

However, if just one person benefits from reading this, I feel incredibly happy. It’s all part of that drive for us all to join together, in a very grounded, un-weird, way to support each other and to create a better place for us to exist. A place where we can all live, laugh, and love.

Right, now moving to what makes me happy: –

Family
Friends
My home
Zeekee (our cat)
Where we live
Love
Laughing
Music
Rugby league (a proper sport)
Red wine
A hug
The sun
Lying on a beach
The sea
Indian food
Tea
Coffee
Lying in bed, reading, relaxing, feeling warm
The countryside
Smiling people
Friendly people
Politeness
……………… and I could go on.

Basically, I found, if you really thinking about it, the list of things that make you happy, or could make you happy, is endless. It’s those things that we should express gratitude for on a daily basis.

I know I have written many times about gratitude, but, surely if we are grateful for what we have, that gives us a positive focus.

To celebrate the ‘have’, not mourn the ‘have not’ or, as is more the case, ‘can not’ – in other words, those things we don’t like but can not do anything about.

I know this all seems quite simple, but in my quest to make 2017 bl00dy brilliant, I intend to focus on what makes me happy. Then, I intend to remember to look at those things that don’t make me happy – if I can’t effect them, then stop letting them make me unhappy. If I can effect them, get off my butt, and it is a big butt, and to deal with them.

And, that’s it. I hope you too love to be positive. I’m still learning but in 2017 I’m getting there and 👁 ❤ it!!!!!

Take care, and keep positive. It’s addictive.

Jon

❤ 2 ………….. make it happen

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View From The Ground – 2017

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” – Barack Obama

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

Welcome to the first @viewftg blog of 2017. A year of hope, optimism, and real drive to help create something new and meaningful.

Of course, 2017 will present challenges and, from a personal point of view, the current challenges which have pulled through from the mess that was better known as 2016 are being worked through and will – I pray – have a happy ending.

However, the focus for this coming year is to live for the day and look forward to better times. But those hours be better times that we create. Not better times that we expect.

So, how do we do that I hear you ask? After such a tough 2016, how can we create better times? Blimey, 2 questions! But thank you for asking.

Well, in my humble opinion, we all have the ability to help make this a better year. To make this a year of hope, optimism, and to create something new and meaningful.

There is no doubt that 2016 was tough for many, many people. I know there are always people worse off than us and, personally, I am always grateful for the life I have been gifted.

However, I know I have / am experiencing things that I would not wish on anyone else. But, as I have spoken about before, the bad times that me, Ben and Liv have / are experiencing have taught us a lesson about love. The incredible love that we continue to feel from our beautiful family and friends, and many, man people who have stepped forward to provide support.

It is our experiences that make me truly believe that we can make 2017 a wonderful year. I truly believe that all it takes is for us to BELIEVE that we can make it happen.

As Barack Obama said “Don’t wait for good things to happen to you.” Lets start looking at how we can make things happen.

I know that I bang on about the things that I am passionate about – love, gratitude, helping those less fortunate, mindfulness, family, friends and much, much more. Sorry if I overwhelm with my enthusiasm for being passionate about things. Hell, I even won an award for passion. Let me clarify – this was passion about my job (at work) ……………… unfortunately not something else. However, who knows. In fact, who does know????

Sorry, back to the matter in hand – as it were. I am absolutely committed to using my energy to help make this a wonderful year. I want to help others to do the same, so that people can feel love, can start having hope, and to feel good about life. In the 1 5 10 blog I talked about the effect we could have by helping 1 person, and that could soon become 5, and then 10. If those 10 did the same to 10, and so on, the effect could be magnificent.

During 2017 I am going to focus the blogs on things that I love to do in relation to try to create a better life for me, my family, friends and everyone else that I can. I want to focus on positivity and on looking forward. What has gone is just that – it’s gone. We can learn but we can’t change it. If we reflect on it too much it changes what we see today, and in turn effects on what we see tomorrow.

So, I commit to any reflection I see is the reflection of the present day, not the previous one. Thus I can ensure that reflection is the best one possible. Don’t worry, I won’t be looking in the mirror – that reflection has been created in the past, through too much food and wine.

To use my regular question – does that make sense?

Many future blogs will be posted – like this one – with the title of ‘❤2 ………….’. I hope you like them. I know I will enjoy writing them and sharing my thoughts with you. I am grateful that hat you take you value time to have a read. I find writing the blogs real therapy.

Okay, I think I have taken up enough of your time. As I regularly say, if you want to contact me, I’m on Facebook or drop me an email to jonlduke@icloud.com.

Let’s finish with a song. I’ve shared these words from Louis Armstrong before, but they’re appropriate.

“What A Wonderful World”

“I see trees of green,
red roses too.
I see them bloom,
for me and you.
And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow,
So pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by,
I see friends shaking hands.
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying,
“I love you”.

I hear babies cry,
I watch them grow,
They’ll learn much more,
Than I’ll ever know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Yes, I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Oh yeah.”

Please take care. Please join the revolution and let’s all love to make it happen.
Jon

#HappyNewYear aka Here Is The Love

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“I wanted to say thanks… and share my gratitude for everything I’ve been blessed with. Family, friends, and continued support from everyone.” – Travis Barker

What? Another View From The Ground blog? So soon? Indeed. There’s times when words and thoughts come tumbling out, and today is just one of those times.

As we claw our way out of 2016, with a veritable yelp of relief, we have 2017 presented before us. A new year; a new start; a new chance. A new chance or just another chance to make the same mistakes?

Welcome to the closing thoughts from my place on the ground. A place I am proud to share with so many wonderful people.

2016? As I have alluded to in previous blogs, it’s been a tough one for so many people. The Syrian crisis; Yemen crisis; terrorism; Brexit in the U.K. And the millions of pounds wasted on that campaign; the USA presidential campaign and outcome and the millions of dollars wasted on that campaign; the continuing plight of refugees and asylum seekers; increased homelessness; increasing mental health issues, and so on.

On top of that, we all have our own personal challenges. Those challenges can make you feel like you are the only one suffering and that the world is against you. I’m sure we all feel like that during our darker moments. To be honest, I certainly have. But, and I’m back to my big but (note: not butt), the important thing I have found in those times of darkness there has always been someone or something to shine a bright light to sow me how to move forward. And for that I am and will always be grateful.

This year has brought me on a personal level many, many lessons. But the greatest lesson has been that love, real love, conquers all. And that love can be found from so many sources – how ever unexpected some of those sources may be.

In turn, having received so much love, I now feel compelled to share that love and to offer that helping hand in 2017 that I have had offered in abundance this year.

Adversity has brought reflection. Reflection on the past person I was – when looking in the mirror, who was I – and that then brings the question, who do I want to be?

I guess this is a useful exercise for us all. Looking in the mirror, what do we see and, more importantly, who do w want to see.

I have previously quoted Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson. I make no apology for sub quoting some of the lyrics again : –

“I’m Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life. It’s Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference. Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat. This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind. I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat. Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs.”

“I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror. I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways. And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer. If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change”

“Got To Make That Change, Today!”

I hope that makes sense. It’s just a few of the lyrics from the song but they are so appropriate from a personal perspective. The love that I + Ben and Liv have received has been beyond anything I released was possible. So, when looking in that mirror, rather than seeing a ‘poor me’ I now know I am seeing a man so wealthy (I was going to say rich, but that’s not a word I like!), that my ‘love’ glass is truly overflowing.

On that basis, I see 2017 as the opportunity to make that change. How many others, on true reflection, can make that change and hold out our hands and offer others at the start of 2017 love and support.

If, when we look in the mirror, we feel that love is there, then we have learned hat responsibility to help others.

My personal view from the ground is that I know know there is so much more that I can offer, and I hope you dear reader feel the same. I would truly love to hear from you – how can you help? Do you need help? My email address is jonlduke@icloud.com. I’m happy to help.

So, to close the last blog of 2017, I will close with a quote.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for being with my throughout a surreal year. Thank you to all if those who have provided love and support.

Love Jon