Missing you

A blog in the continuation of the theme of Life’s What You Make It and, as we all currently live in a situation most have never experienced, it brings a rollercoaster of emotions.

Welcome to a View from the locked down ground. Welcome to waking up. Waking up healthy. Waking up with love in our hearts.

So, a different kind of blog, I hope, although I’m not sure where it will go.

The last blog, ‘Let’s Stick Together’ provoked a quite opposite response to what was intended. I stick by my word; my observations. That’s it, just my observations. I’d like to think 95% of the blog was positive and supportive. However, in this state of uncertainty and fear, I have real worries. I’ll leave it at that as we need to focus on getting through this pandemic – by sticking together.

Every morning, we wake to hear the grip of the virus takes a stronger hold across most of the globe. More lives are taken despite the valiant work of the relevant doctors and nurses. In the U.K. we have the quite brilliant NHS. Words are not enough to express the gratitude we have for the brilliant people who work within the NHS.

Every morning, we wake and we take another breath. A magnificent start to the day. For most, what feels like a different kind of day will, over the next few days etc, become a routine kind of day.

Every morning we know we are confined to the very place we wake for the rest of the day. Be that to rest, eat, work and, if you’re lucky enough, play. That is, of course, unless you are one of the awesome critical workers.

Of course, we are allowed a walk a day. So, I have found, making the most of that opportunity is a real must. As those who have read previous blogs, we’re blessed to have Ringo in our lives. Not the Beatles drummer, although that would be interesting when we need some help and, right now, all we need is love.

However, our Ringo is a beautiful border collie. And, he loves a walk. He’s always had an early morning walk, round the block as we call it. However, given the current restrictions, that early morning blast has grown into a full on walk. Part to get the exercise, part to inhale the air and the freedom whilst being outside, and part to watch Ringo explore, oblivious to everything.

Of course dogs pick up our anxieties and they do what they can to provide much needed love. But, thankfully for them, they don’t know what is going on. As I’ve said several times, I wish I was a dog.

I love watching Ringo forage for a stick to bring to be thrown, and then chase it. Pure gold at a time where it’s so important to grasp those moments; moments that matter. Moments that hammer home enjoying what we have in the right here, right now.

And that’s one of the early lessons from the early days of the lockdown. Appreciating everything that we have.

Ringo appreciates every stick that he finds. He appreciates the feel of the lead been unclipped from his harness so that he can run. Run freely without a care in the world. Run just so far that when he turns around, he can see me ambling behind. Me with all the cares in the world, watching Ringo without a care. I wish I was a dog.

Every morning, another day dawns without the ability to see those that we love that don’t live in the same house as us.

At the moment, I can’t see Audrey. My beautiful partner for so long now. I miss you Aud. it’s that simple. It hurts. The hugs. The laughs. The being together. As I write this, Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol just came on TV. A bit emotion for a bit. I miss you.

I can’t see my handsome son, Ben, and his lovely partner, Gaby. I miss you. It’s a real challenge not to sneak out of the house on the basis of needing to us the supermarket near them. But, I won’t. We’re in this together and must abide by the government regulations. But it hurts.

Liv and I were just in the car going to the pet store near where Ben and Gaby live for some essential stuff. I wanted to suggest they walk down but that’s not allowed. I couldn’t have a hug anyway. I cried. I miss you. But, this is a small sacrifice for something cataclysmically bigger than we really know.

My mum is 30 miles away. I can’t see her. We speak and it’s important that will all speak to those we love.

And there are family and friends that I can’t see / we can’t see.

But, there are millions in the U.K., billions around the globe feeling the same pain. We are all in this together.

But, all of those people that we miss are with us. They are in our hearts. They are in our memory bank. They are in our pictures. They are days / weeks away from us all been reunited – I hope. We are lucky. They are still here. Just not with us right now. But, I miss you.

We just need to keep positive. We need to speak. We need to feel connected and that we don’t feel lonely. That we don’t feel isolated.

We need to talk. We need to text. We need to reach out. We need to use social media for the greater good. But we need to use our brains and do what we are told. We need to stay safe and we need to protect everyone.

Every morning, I ask that we give thanks for waking. We need to think about those who might just be feeling vulnerable, feeling isolated. And we need to contact them and make sure we unlock that isolation and let them know we’re with them.

We’ll get through this and it will feel bloody good.

Stay safe.


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