The importance of being honest

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A view from the ground – ❤ 2 …………….. be #honest (with myself)

“Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from a struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices” – Paul Tournier

Wow! A bit of a heavy quote to open the latest ground based view at how #TeamDuke are progressing in 2017. As I’ve said before, these blogs are intended to celebrate our learnings with the hope that it helps you along the way. Hopefully, we can have some fun at the same time.

As those who have checked out the #TeamDuke and ❤2 ………….. be loved blogs, I’ve kind of talked a bit about …………. love! I guess my, almost, obsession with the subject has been borne out of the realisation that receiving and giving love has been a significant part of the #TeamDuke world following the change to our lives mid- 2016.

Over the last few years, I have been on a personal journey (I don’t like using that word as it sounds like 20th century management speak, but I can’t think of anything better at the moment. Has anyone noticed that one of the latest expressions in ‘super’? Super great; super lovely; super shut up!!!!).

I realised a few years ago that I’d got wrapped up too much in negative thinking. Envy, frustration, anger and half empty thinking were the order of the day. Those who know me, know I started on this journey with my, then, wife and I contributed to her book, These Wings Can Fly (still available through me. If you want to buy a copy, let me know. I intend to donate all money raised to a local charity supporting homeless people). It’s a great read, and from that book a View From The Ground was born. Since then, we have gone in our separate directions.

However, the journey we started has helped me to fully understand that retaining a positive outlook is critical not only for ones own development and health, but it, from a personal perspective, it has given the drive, desire, passion, to reach out (more management speak) and help as many people as possible. As I’ve discussed in a previous blog, 1 5 10, if one person can help one person, and that person helps someone else as a result, the multiplier effect is incredible.

Clearly, the events of last year challenged the ability to remain positive, but by receiving love, the positivity actually grew and has allowed me / us to give love.

But, and here I am again with my big butt (sic), what happens if you wake up not feeling positive. You wake up feeling sad, angry, lonely, or some other not positive emotion.

Do you pretend it’s not happening? Do you hide from it? Do you think f**k it, I knew this positive thinking was a waste of time? Do you even think, what’s the point, it would be easier for everyone else if I wasn’t here?

Now, as with all of my blogs, these words are how I deal with things. I am not qualified, I am not claiming to be a professional advisor (I’d love to be!!!!) but I write with a passion and a desire to try and help others. Hell, if I thought I could just inspire 1 person to feel there is true hope, I would feel like a king (rather than a Duke).

So, what happens when those not so positive emotions sweep in? For me, it has been a case of learning to stare the emotion in the face – like looking in the mirror – and acknowledging how I feel. I know that sounds obvious but I was quite that grave. The old me may have slid into denial and to hide from the emotion.
However, the braver thing to do is to deal with that emotion. It’s not wrong to feel sad, angry, lonely or whatever. We are after all only human. However, that is not to say that there are some who manage to walk through life in a permanent state of positivity. I admire them. As I admire my cat whose only thoughts revolve around food, warmth, love, and her sh!t box being cleaned.

But, actually being honest with yourself is also liberating – I have found. Accepting that not every day is going to feel awesome. It is awesome, of course, because we have as much, if not more, to be grateful for as we did in the previous day. But, and again it’s a but (not bottom), we have allowed something to occupy our mind that has triggered a not so positive feeling / emotion.

The magic is recognising it, understanding the cause, and then working on a way to plan out what can you do to deal with it. The damage can be if you hide from negative emotion. Again, I have found, through personal mistakes (another word I don’t like), that by hiding from those not positive thoughts and emotions I built a multi-layer of negativity which after a while resulted in me popping like a champagne cork (no rude images please).

At worse, it’s happened twice – the most recent was just short of 2 months again. Not as dramatic as the first, as I recognised the signs and took preventative action. However, only after I went and sought a solution was I told by some of those close to me that they had been concerned.

So, I promise you, when I write as I have above, it is from personal experience – not because I feel I have a level of educational learning that I am seeking to impart.

And, there you have it. My different take on #honesty. I guess I could have called the blog ‘Honesty + Acceptance = Happiness. But I’m not that clever.

To finish – a quote from a man who is that clever – “Happiness can exist only in acceptance” – George Orwell.

Take care; be happy. But, if you wake up not feeling happy, I hope the above words give you hope. As I said, if these blogs help just one person – job done. My dream, to do the same for many thousands. I can only do that with your continued help and support. Please share these blogs and ask people to join the View From The Ground Facebook page, blog site, and Twitter.

Thank you.

 

Jon

❤ 2 …………….. #BeLoved

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View From The Ground

“Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones you accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you you no matter what.” – Unknown

So, we return with another view of life from the ground and, without apology, I return to look deeper at love, family, and friends.

When I say deeper, following the #TeamDuke blog (thank you to everyone who took time to read it and share a piece of my world. Thank you also for the wonderful feedback. It means so much to know that the blog resonated so much), I would like to share more about the Team Duke journey and look at the extended members of Team Duke and their contribution to our life and how we are continuing to grow strength from their strength. But also how the inner collective of Team Duke, being me, Ben, and Liv move forward together. And let’s not forget the starring role of Zeekee.

My intention through sharing our development is to show that there is hope for everyone. As I’ve said previously, we have had our dark hour – or, as some would say, our dark night of the soul – but, as I featured in the #TeamDuke blog, we were blessed to have light provided through incredible family and friends. And, as the quote above says, family isn’t always blood so effectively we have all joined as family.

I know I’ve featured the definition of love in previous blogs but I found this, which I believe sums up what we have been lucky enough to experience – “Love can make you do anything and sacrifice for what will be better in the end. Everything seems brighter, happier and more wonderful. If you find it, don’t let it go.”

It’s funny – not in a ROFLMAO sort of way – but I always thought I understood love until the dark hour came. Only then did I truly start to understand love. The sacrifices that people made in the quest to support us; the happiness that people brought to us; and the light that was shone.

I’d previously been very focussed on doing my own thing, but a big, big lesson that was learned quickly was, if help and support is offered – accept it gratefully and gracefully. The more you say ‘yes’ the more the offers flow – ‘come round for a me or we’ll bring the food to you’, ‘do you fancy some company’, ‘do want to meet for a drink – wine, coffee, tea, whatever’ etc. Just say ‘yes’.

It’s good for the soul to feel the love, to be loved. When the support comes in, it tops up your strength to then look after the inner family – in our case, Team Duke. Over the last 6 months or so the support has been constant and consistent and for that we send our love to each and every person who has been there for us. Your support – in what ever form it has been – has been so appreciated. You make feel a quick text or Facebook message is nothing, but you hey all mean so much. To know people are there.

So, my advice for those who have tough times, accept every offer of help because you are blessed to have such wonderful people around you. I promise to be there for who ever needs me.

And then, there’s the continuing development of Team Duke. I talk (maybe too much) about where we were and where we are in the previous blog. But, as I have previously discussed, I never though the Team Duke could get closer, but how wrong could I be. It’s the small things, and it’s the big things. But, the main point is our bond is so strong.

I think a key learning for us, and something I talk about when ever I get chance is that we talk, and then we talk some more.

As a family we have always had our meals around the dining room table. We have always been a communicative family. But, since that dark hour, his need to communicate has been more and more important. To talk about the good, the bad, and the ugly. It doesn’t matter, just talk. Then, it’s looking for the telltale signs that something is not good. When asking ‘how’s things?’, if the answer is ‘okay; ‘yeah, alright ‘; ‘not bad’ (double negative), I always dig deeper. But, it’s not just about me. Ben and Liv do the same. We’re a team of 3 (plus Zeekee) initially, so we look out for each other. We look after each other. And we always talk, whether up and or somewhere in between.

My learning has been the importance of verbalising not bottling up. To bottle up is, I believe dangerous and bad for your health. Eventually, the risk os of popping like a champagne cork.

And to close. Again, as featured in the #TeamDuke blog, I’ve learned to love a good hug. I’ve never been a tactile person but, as I’ve talked about above, I don’t refuse an offer these days. So, hugs have become a feature. Thank you to all for the offers 😀.

Even the offer at 5:00 am this morning from Ben. I’m a light sleeper, so when I heard voices from the living room, I was a bit concerned, only to find that Ben and Liv were talking. Ben had just got home from a ‘good’ night out; Liv is a late sleeper. The sound of my large feet resulted in a beaming Ben appearing with the hug offer. You can’t say no!

Okay. That’s it for now. I hope you’ve enjoy the update. The next blog may be back to one of my other passions. Who knows. I hope you’re enjoyed the read.

Lots of love

Jon

#TeamDuke

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View From The Ground

“All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have strengthened me….You may not realise it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.” —Walt Disney

As I woke this morning, I looked around, and just thought about what a lucky person I am. I love where we live – that was a good start.

Then, I thought about my wonderful son, Ben, in the next room. My son, best friend, and an incredible person – full of fun, charm, cheek, intelligence, and love.

In the room across from him was my beautiful daughter, Liv. My daughter, best friend and another incredible person – full of passion, determination, fun, intelligence, and love. They, of course, have a lot more but, in the unlikely chance they read this blog, I don’t want to embarrass them.

Just outside my door, in the 4th member of #TeamDuke – our beautiful cat, Zeekee. I hope she understands the love she brings to the house and the love we have for her. If someone had told me 12 months ago I would be so attached to an animal I would have questioned just how well they know me. But, attached I am / we are. She has seen us through our tough times and has provided a constant throughout – love!

I’m aware that through View From The Ground I have been quite expressive this year already. I have alluded to the tough time that we have faced without providing any detail. That will remain the case for many reasons, but primarily, I don’t believe in airing the dirty laundry in public; we all have to face tough times and ours compared to others are small; and my quest is to move forward and not keep looking back. Of course, I don’t want anyone to think I am playing ‘poor me’. I’ll leave that to others better qualified.

However, as I have said, I am going to focus a lot of the 2017 blogs on the theme of ‘❤ 2 …………’. The idea being to look at those things we can do to make this an incredible year. So far I have looked at ‘❤ 2 …………….. make things happen‘ and ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’.

But, as I thought though things this morning, I started to understand that my driving force for the theme of these blogs is #TeamDuke. We have talked about making 2017 an incredible year, and about the need to be, and remain, positive.

And, I guess, when writing about my blessing of #TeamDuke, I am hoping that it helps you to look at your own space and I feel the love that you have around you.

In reality, when I talk about #TeamDuke and refer to Ben and Liv (and Zeekee), the actual collective is so much bigger than that. We are blessed, yes blessed, to have such wonderful family and friends around us. People who send random messages checking on us, dropping round to the house because they felt compelled to come (you know who you are ❤), who provide hugs (I’m not tactile but I’ve learned to love hugs), invitations to go out for a beer, more hugs, and so on. To each and every person who have been there / are there, we truly love you. I know we will all make sure 2017 is bl00dy brilliant.

To those who have maybe presented the challenges that saw such a change in our life direction – thank you. Without intending it, you have been the catalyst for the beautiful creation that we call #TeamDuke. We are strong, we are happy, and we are #love. I dedicate this blog to you.

I appreciate this has been a little self indulgent but my intention is to provide hope to anyone facing adversity. The Walt Disney quote at the start of the blog is so true. I would recommend using that adversity to give you the strength to smash through any wall of doubt and be strong.

Have a great day.

Love from #TeamDuke

👁 ❤ 2 ……………… be positive

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View From The Ground – an individual take on making 2017 bl00dy brilliant!!!

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened” – Mark Twain

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone

Here we are again. So soon, but already bursting into 2017 and trying to live by that mantra of the last blog, ‘❤ 2 ……………….. Make Things Happen‘, focussing on the present and using this to move forward. Definitely not dwelling on the past.

Welcome back to the grounded view from which to watch everything unfold before us.

In the last blog – ❤ 2 ……………… Make Things Happen (have I already said that? Sorry, I enjoyed writing it) – I mentioned about launching ‘❤ 2……..’ as a regular feature in the View acromegaly The Ground blogs. The idea being to take about things I love, in the hope of spreading positivity and support. Well, I’ve gone for a variation on that theme already – ‘👁 ❤ 2’. Yes, you’ve got it ‘I love to ………..’. A bit goofy, but a nice hook I hope you agree.

Anyway, enough of the waffle and on with the subject in hand. Positivity. Ironic that I choose to look at positivity after one of the hardest years, and right into what many feel is the hardest month of the year. But, it is actually an easy subject to look at. Mainly, because it is a choice. Easy for me to day? Not really but, again, it’s a choice and, to be honest, it’s a daily exercise.

Let me expand (although, from a waistline point of view, any further expansion may require serious action). Those who know me will automatically smirk at the very title of this blog. Perhaps my old persona may have edged towards thinking good things wouldn’t happen; there’s a few clouds in the sky and therefore it’s going rain; it’s Monday so it will be a bad day. Actually, let’s park the discussion about Monday, that’s work in progress. But, I think you get the idea.

So, moving back to the subject in hand – I love to be positive. Don’t we all?

One of the exercises I have practiced recently is to look at: –

1. What makes me happy; and

2. What doesn’t make me happy.

I appreciate that it sounds simple, but by looking at these simple things it has provided the opportunity to then look deeper.

To start with, by thinking about what doesn’t make me happy, I then created a list. I found it quite easy – although I would ask that you don’t take that as an indication that I don’t love to be positive. I do, I do, I do.

But, by making a list of what doesn’t make me happy, it provides some focus. Things such as the following don’t make me happy: –

Dark mornings
Dark nights
Rain
Bad drivers
Rubbish TV
Monday mornings
Rude people
Delays on the train
Strikes
and so on ………………

Hopefully you get the idea. There’s loads more such as world poverty, war, hunger, homelessness, insufficient government spending on the life’s of schooling, hospitals, emergency services etc. But, let’s concentrate on the list.

I’m sure this seems obvious to many people but, by focusing on the list, I can then think about whether I can do anything to effect any of those items listed. Quite clearly I can’t – it’s as simple as that. So, if I can’t effect them what is the point of letting them make me unhappy.

I am sure, if you’ve got to this part of the blog you’re thinking that time it’s taken you to read the first 600 words of ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’ is time that you will never get back.

However, if just one person benefits from reading this, I feel incredibly happy. It’s all part of that drive for us all to join together, in a very grounded, un-weird, way to support each other and to create a better place for us to exist. A place where we can all live, laugh, and love.

Right, now moving to what makes me happy: –

Family
Friends
My home
Zeekee (our cat)
Where we live
Love
Laughing
Music
Rugby league (a proper sport)
Red wine
A hug
The sun
Lying on a beach
The sea
Indian food
Tea
Coffee
Lying in bed, reading, relaxing, feeling warm
The countryside
Smiling people
Friendly people
Politeness
……………… and I could go on.

Basically, I found, if you really thinking about it, the list of things that make you happy, or could make you happy, is endless. It’s those things that we should express gratitude for on a daily basis.

I know I have written many times about gratitude, but, surely if we are grateful for what we have, that gives us a positive focus.

To celebrate the ‘have’, not mourn the ‘have not’ or, as is more the case, ‘can not’ – in other words, those things we don’t like but can not do anything about.

I know this all seems quite simple, but in my quest to make 2017 bl00dy brilliant, I intend to focus on what makes me happy. Then, I intend to remember to look at those things that don’t make me happy – if I can’t effect them, then stop letting them make me unhappy. If I can effect them, get off my butt, and it is a big butt, and to deal with them.

And, that’s it. I hope you too love to be positive. I’m still learning but in 2017 I’m getting there and 👁 ❤ it!!!!!

Take care, and keep positive. It’s addictive.

Jon

❤ 2 ………….. make it happen

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View From The Ground – 2017

“The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” – Barack Obama

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity” – Albert Einstein

Welcome to the first @viewftg blog of 2017. A year of hope, optimism, and real drive to help create something new and meaningful.

Of course, 2017 will present challenges and, from a personal point of view, the current challenges which have pulled through from the mess that was better known as 2016 are being worked through and will – I pray – have a happy ending.

However, the focus for this coming year is to live for the day and look forward to better times. But those hours be better times that we create. Not better times that we expect.

So, how do we do that I hear you ask? After such a tough 2016, how can we create better times? Blimey, 2 questions! But thank you for asking.

Well, in my humble opinion, we all have the ability to help make this a better year. To make this a year of hope, optimism, and to create something new and meaningful.

There is no doubt that 2016 was tough for many, many people. I know there are always people worse off than us and, personally, I am always grateful for the life I have been gifted.

However, I know I have / am experiencing things that I would not wish on anyone else. But, as I have spoken about before, the bad times that me, Ben and Liv have / are experiencing have taught us a lesson about love. The incredible love that we continue to feel from our beautiful family and friends, and many, man people who have stepped forward to provide support.

It is our experiences that make me truly believe that we can make 2017 a wonderful year. I truly believe that all it takes is for us to BELIEVE that we can make it happen.

As Barack Obama said “Don’t wait for good things to happen to you.” Lets start looking at how we can make things happen.

I know that I bang on about the things that I am passionate about – love, gratitude, helping those less fortunate, mindfulness, family, friends and much, much more. Sorry if I overwhelm with my enthusiasm for being passionate about things. Hell, I even won an award for passion. Let me clarify – this was passion about my job (at work) ……………… unfortunately not something else. However, who knows. In fact, who does know????

Sorry, back to the matter in hand – as it were. I am absolutely committed to using my energy to help make this a wonderful year. I want to help others to do the same, so that people can feel love, can start having hope, and to feel good about life. In the 1 5 10 blog I talked about the effect we could have by helping 1 person, and that could soon become 5, and then 10. If those 10 did the same to 10, and so on, the effect could be magnificent.

During 2017 I am going to focus the blogs on things that I love to do in relation to try to create a better life for me, my family, friends and everyone else that I can. I want to focus on positivity and on looking forward. What has gone is just that – it’s gone. We can learn but we can’t change it. If we reflect on it too much it changes what we see today, and in turn effects on what we see tomorrow.

So, I commit to any reflection I see is the reflection of the present day, not the previous one. Thus I can ensure that reflection is the best one possible. Don’t worry, I won’t be looking in the mirror – that reflection has been created in the past, through too much food and wine.

To use my regular question – does that make sense?

Many future blogs will be posted – like this one – with the title of ‘❤2 ………….’. I hope you like them. I know I will enjoy writing them and sharing my thoughts with you. I am grateful that hat you take you value time to have a read. I find writing the blogs real therapy.

Okay, I think I have taken up enough of your time. As I regularly say, if you want to contact me, I’m on Facebook or drop me an email to jonlduke@icloud.com.

Let’s finish with a song. I’ve shared these words from Louis Armstrong before, but they’re appropriate.

“What A Wonderful World”

“I see trees of green,
red roses too.
I see them bloom,
for me and you.
And I think to myself,
what a wonderful world.

I see skies of blue,
And clouds of white.
The bright blessed day,
The dark sacred night.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

The colors of the rainbow,
So pretty in the sky.
Are also on the faces,
Of people going by,
I see friends shaking hands.
Saying, “How do you do?”
They’re really saying,
“I love you”.

I hear babies cry,
I watch them grow,
They’ll learn much more,
Than I’ll ever know.
And I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Yes, I think to myself,
What a wonderful world.

Oh yeah.”

Please take care. Please join the revolution and let’s all love to make it happen.
Jon

#HappyNewYear aka Here Is The Love

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“I wanted to say thanks… and share my gratitude for everything I’ve been blessed with. Family, friends, and continued support from everyone.” – Travis Barker

What? Another View From The Ground blog? So soon? Indeed. There’s times when words and thoughts come tumbling out, and today is just one of those times.

As we claw our way out of 2016, with a veritable yelp of relief, we have 2017 presented before us. A new year; a new start; a new chance. A new chance or just another chance to make the same mistakes?

Welcome to the closing thoughts from my place on the ground. A place I am proud to share with so many wonderful people.

2016? As I have alluded to in previous blogs, it’s been a tough one for so many people. The Syrian crisis; Yemen crisis; terrorism; Brexit in the U.K. And the millions of pounds wasted on that campaign; the USA presidential campaign and outcome and the millions of dollars wasted on that campaign; the continuing plight of refugees and asylum seekers; increased homelessness; increasing mental health issues, and so on.

On top of that, we all have our own personal challenges. Those challenges can make you feel like you are the only one suffering and that the world is against you. I’m sure we all feel like that during our darker moments. To be honest, I certainly have. But, and I’m back to my big but (note: not butt), the important thing I have found in those times of darkness there has always been someone or something to shine a bright light to sow me how to move forward. And for that I am and will always be grateful.

This year has brought me on a personal level many, many lessons. But the greatest lesson has been that love, real love, conquers all. And that love can be found from so many sources – how ever unexpected some of those sources may be.

In turn, having received so much love, I now feel compelled to share that love and to offer that helping hand in 2017 that I have had offered in abundance this year.

Adversity has brought reflection. Reflection on the past person I was – when looking in the mirror, who was I – and that then brings the question, who do I want to be?

I guess this is a useful exercise for us all. Looking in the mirror, what do we see and, more importantly, who do w want to see.

I have previously quoted Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson. I make no apology for sub quoting some of the lyrics again : –

“I’m Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life. It’s Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference. Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat. This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind. I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat. Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs.”

“I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror. I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways. And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer. If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change”

“Got To Make That Change, Today!”

I hope that makes sense. It’s just a few of the lyrics from the song but they are so appropriate from a personal perspective. The love that I + Ben and Liv have received has been beyond anything I released was possible. So, when looking in that mirror, rather than seeing a ‘poor me’ I now know I am seeing a man so wealthy (I was going to say rich, but that’s not a word I like!), that my ‘love’ glass is truly overflowing.

On that basis, I see 2017 as the opportunity to make that change. How many others, on true reflection, can make that change and hold out our hands and offer others at the start of 2017 love and support.

If, when we look in the mirror, we feel that love is there, then we have learned hat responsibility to help others.

My personal view from the ground is that I know know there is so much more that I can offer, and I hope you dear reader feel the same. I would truly love to hear from you – how can you help? Do you need help? My email address is jonlduke@icloud.com. I’m happy to help.

So, to close the last blog of 2017, I will close with a quote.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for being with my throughout a surreal year. Thank you to all if those who have provided love and support.

Love Jon

Back to love. Back to reality.

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“Wake up and live” ― Bob Marley

“Happiness isn’t about getting what you want all the time. It’s about loving what you have and being grateful for it.”

Love! A strange phenomenon. How many times a day do we say, see, hear the word ‘love’? It’s a wonderful word that makes us smile inside and outside as we are wired to feel it as a positive, uplifting word and therefore a positive emotional response is felt.

Just thinking about the word makes me feel hopeful. I know it’s a word I use a lot, and one of the things I love doing is writing. I love the opportunity it gives to express my thoughts and I hope I can use it in future to help others- as that is my dream.

So, welcome to my view from the ground. Thank you for joining me. A view from the ground is still in its early stages but my true dream is to use View From The Ground as a portal for providing support and guidance to as many as possible. It will also be a place where others can reach to people to provide help through their own experiences.

There are many, many people. – too many – who are feeling challenged by life. But, I truly believe that we all have the opportunity to help each other and to make peoples lives such much better.

And the key to View From The Ground is to do what I do from a place of love. I know, in previous blogs, I have questioned ‘unconditional’ love. The definition is “affection with no limits or conditions; complete love”.

Okay, as a theory I get it. But my experience of unconditional love has been based on it being given on the basis that I agree with that person’s beliefs. That, to me, is conditional.

The mission of View From The Ground is to provide support and guidance through my experiences and observations. To talk about how I have learned about the true meaning of love, Andrew I’m learning to fly without wings – having spent too long trying to work out whether I am round the bend or am learning to turn a corner.

Love – “a strong feeling of affection” or “a great interest and pleasure in something”.

Quite simple really. But, what happens when you lose that affection and that interest in something? Or, when you believe someone has taken away your feelings of love?

Is it possible for someone to take away our ability to love? From a personal perspective, when someone significant left my life, deciding to find their happiness elsewhere, I have spent a good period of time analysing ‘love’.

At this point, it’s important to emphasis that I have been blessed to receive love from my incredible family and friends. They are truly awesome people who I will always be indebted to in a way I can not express. When I eventually get my book finished it will be dedicated to each and every one of them.

But, my thoughts on love have been at the fore for very personal reasons. However, I can say what has happened is the hurt I experienced made me question my love of life in general and my love of myself. Not in a suicidal sort of way but just in a staring at the ground (a different sort of view from the ground), not looking at people, not seeing things sort of way. No, I’m not playing out poor me. But, I’m sure many people can understand what I mean.

I hope the above makes sense. Where you lose sight of the beauty that surrounds you. You lose sight because you’re not looking. You lose sight because you do become self absorbed in the situation for find yourself in. Whilst you soak in and appreciate the love that is being given by wonderful people, you lose sight because you stop loving yourself.

And that feeling of the loss of self love can become a downward spiral. I read a wonderful book last year by Dr David Hamilton about self love and it is a really good read. It’s back on my list of things to reference in the new year. In fact, why delay – I have the book here with me, and I will revisit the steps previously trodden.

There’s a great quote in the book from Elizabeth Gilbert; “Never forget that once upon a time, in an unguarded moment, you recognised yourself as a friend “.

And that quote sums up the journey that I and, I believe, many others need to tread. To get back to love, back to reality. That is, get back to seeing ourselves as a friend …………. to ourselves.

It is too easy to stop loving ourselves when someone hurts us; when they decide that they wish to spend their live without you. However, by not loving yourself, in reality, the only person you are hurting is yourself. So, it is important to grab that mirror and look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself you are a good person, you can move forward and you are lucky to be surrounded by wonderful person.

With that objective achieved it is important to lift our heads up and see the beauty of the world and recognise that the world is still as it was before the hurt occurred. It is still a blessing.

My point, I guess, is I am going through a journey (sorry, I hate the expression but can’t think of another), as are so many, but I am learning to get back to love – loving me, loving life, loving nature, loving the day, loving the future. I never stopped loving my family and friends. So, on that basis, I will become a friend of me as well and that way living myself should be easy.

As was going to apologise for rambling, but that’s me. I ramble a bit. But I love that about me. I also love that, as of yesterday, the days are getting longer (here in the northern hemisphere).

Right, I will close before I start loving typing too much.

I wish you good health, happiness, health and lots of self love.

Take care.

Jon

A gift

Posted on by View from the ground

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“My father gave me the greatest gift anyone could give another person, he believed in me.”
― Jim Valvano

“The manner of giving is worth more than the gift.” ― Pierre Corneille.

Thank you for been curious enough to open this blog. I am grateful that you have joined me. It is a gift to have the technology to reach out across the world to friends and strangers alike.

So, welcome to my latest grounded view. It’s been nearly a year since I came out of the shadows from These Wings Can Fly, the previous blog site that I was connected to. It has taken time to truly understand how much of my thinking and beliefs have developed in a different direction to other blogs that were published on that site. I guess my drive is to connect with the many, rather than the few, and in a language that the many can connect with.

I am certainly rooted firmly on the ground – for that I am grateful. The danger is, when you lose sight of the ground and you believe that you are operating in a higher world, it’s a massive thump back on to the ground when you realise you aren’t. However, if you allow your roots to grow, you can reach heights that you could only dream about.

Here we are, days away from Christmas. Celebrated by many, but the reasons for celebration are varied. Of course, it is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ (although I dutifully respect all religions and beliefs + non-believers).

We then have the commercial version of Christmas which has a heavy focus on giving and receiving gifts and, my favourite part, eating and drinking excessively. To be able to that is a gift in itself and for that I am humbly grateful.

And, so to the subject of today’s observations and rambling – a gift. I was involved in a discussion this morning about a “gift”. I won’t go into detail to avoid being accused of being judgemental but, as a result of that discussion, I was interested in looking up the definition of the word “gift” – “A thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.”

Thankfully, this confirmed my understanding.

A gift; a present. I always remember a quote that the Head Teacher at my son and daughter’s primary school used to use – “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.” (Bill Keane).

That got me thinking about today; living the present, as it were. Do we celebrate on a daily basis the gift we have been granted – life. A good question. If I am to be honest, it’s definitely something I have lost sight of.

In previous blogs I have talked about such matters as depression, which is a challenge and something that is close to my heart. I guess, at times, that brings down a fog that stops you seeing the gift of life for what it truly is.

Once we have recognised and welcomed the gift of life that, hopefully, then allows us to consider how we can use that gift to help others. To give to others who are less fortunate – without being asked – so that they benefit.

I know I rattle on regularly about helping the homeless and I make no apology for that. For as long as I have a voice or a finger to type, I will continue talking about who we must do everything we can for homelessness to be a thing of the past. There are enough empty houses and under-used church halls for everyone sleeping on the streets to have a roof over their heads and to have a warm dry place to sleep. Those in authority have the gift NOW to make this happen.

I still look with amazement at the few who own some much and who have the gift to do so much more. I know that many of the wealth quietly contribute to charities and do give to support those less fortunate. But, equally, there are those who seek to give as little as possible, including seeking ways to reduce their tax payments, and who move their money off shore. They have the gift to do something in the present and, in turn, take away the mystery of tomorrow- making such yesterday truly is history. Am I making sense? It feels I have strayed into soap box ranting. Sorry.

“Being gifted doesn’t mean you’ve been given something. It means, you have something to give.”
― unknown.

So many people have a gift, and my dream is that they give that gift through helping others – without being asked. Giving unconditionally for the better of others. What greater gift could there be?

And, there you have it – we have been given the gift of life and I hope we can use that gift to help others. At a time of the year when so many millions of people celebrate, there are many millions more who are suffering – in the likes of Syria, Yemen, Africa, and so many places around the world. There are also so many people who live so close to us who are also suffering. Let’s use our gift to give to them. But let’s not make them ask for that gift. That’s just wrong.

And so to close, I would like to share the full lyrics to “Happy Xmas (War Is Over)” – the John Lennon classic. Every year, the lyrics become more and more appropriate. A true prophecy to the mess the leaders and money men have created for the population. But, we can do something about it – together. Can’t we?

“So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas (war is over)
For weak and for strong (if you want it)
For rich and the poor ones (war is over)
The world is so wrong (if you want it)
And so happy Christmas (war is over)
For black and for white (if you want it)
For yellow and red ones (war is over)
Let’s stop all the fight (now)

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

And so this is Christmas (war is over)
And what have we done (if you want it)
Another year over (war is over)
A new one just begun (if you want it)
And so happy Christmas (war is over)
We hope you have fun (if you want it)
The near and the dear one (war is over)
The old and the young (now)

A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear

War is over, if you want it
War is over now

Happy Christmas”

 

Jon

1 5 10

Posted on by View from the ground

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“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
― Charles Dickens

Wonderful words from one of history’s greatest writers. Welcome to my latest view from the ground.

I don’t know about you but, what a month November has been. The USA elect a new President. I’ll say no more on that subject. The population has spoken and time will tell. A bit like in the UK where the electorate have chosen to leave the European Union. Time will tell. In South Korea there are protests against the President. Time will tell how that develops. What a wonderful world. That’s not a negative observation. Just my personal reflection on current affairs. I’m certainly not being judgemental. Perish the thought!

However, I find it interesting when people say you’re being judgemental. So, I thought I’d have a look at the definition, and I found “Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people. Judgmental types are not open-minded or easygoing.”

Here’s a question though – if someone accuses you of being judgemental and are therefore suggesting the that you not being open-minded, are they in turn being judgemental? Are they in fact not being open-minded in not accepting your right of expression? Please think about it.

I also hear / over hear the expression ‘unconditional love’. It seems like a buzz expression in certain circles. A bit like ‘blue sky thinking’ in the 90s. What is ‘unconditional love’?. Some will come up with wonderful words in support of such thinking. But they are just their opinions. So, in fact, by challenging this question are they being judgemental. Or, am I being judgemental by questioning ‘unconditional love’? Surely to love unconditionally is to love without condition. Not, on the condition that you agree with the other persons interpretation of unconditional love.

Alternatively, am I just trying to say we all have different interpretations of many things, so please don’t judge me. If we can agree on that, I love you. Unconditionally? Yes – on the condition that you agree with my judgement.

Anyway, moving on. It’s been a while still that last blog. I’ve reposted some previous blogs, as I felt their messages were important. Having read the opening of this blog, you must be wondering why you were lured to read this one. Sorry, those who have been with me for some time will know I like to wander off in different directions.

This brings me onto the title for this blog – ‘1 5 10’. I’ve been thinking – a lot – about what we as the masses can do to take hold of the negative changes in the world and start making positive inroads – a step at a time. Changes that we can make from our grounded position. Changes in our thinking. I’m not coming at this from a preachy, let’s heal the world sort of way. I’ll leave that to those handing out leaflets to commuters on the busy streets, or those who go on personal crusades, fuelled by ego.

No, I’m coming at this from the perspective of looking to our right or our left and seeing if the person right next to us is struggling and needed a hand or a few kind words. I’m talking about being there, in the moment, and being available to help our fellow human beings.

I still think of the Dalai Lama quote – If every 8 year old in the world is taught to meditate, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation”.
What difference could we make to the community / the world by starting with a 1 percent shift in how we think; how we behave; how we treat each other? Clearly, teaching 8 year olds to meditate is next generational stuff, but why can’t schools do this? Think about it.

But, until then we all have a magnificent chance to make a difference. If tomorrow, you smiled at everyone you see. Accepting that there will be a small group of people who will think you are weird (definition – very strange and unusual, unexpected, or not natural), but the majority of people will walk away feeling a little bit happier. They in turn may then smile at people they see and, within minutes your act of happiness spreads throughout your community. That one act by you may cause a one percent shift in your community.

Now, those who know me will question when I last smiled at someone randomly. Well sceptics- a) stop judging me and give me unconditional love, because b) it was yesterday. Was she attractive? Well, okay, yes. Did I get her phone number? No! It was a random act because she looked down (and I don’t mean to avoid me looking at her). And, yes, she smiled in return. So, hopefully she felt a little better.

Joking apart, it’s all about taking progressive steps – start at a one percent shift, move to five percent (accepting that is a 500% increase in effort), and then step up to a ten percent short (and that is only a 200% increase).

It might sound fanciful – but think, in the next week you committed to just 2 acts of kindness a day – that could effect 14 people. If, through feeling good about your example, they then carried out 1 act of kindness a day the following week – that would be another 98 + your next 14 = 112 in week 2.

By the end of month 1 that could multiply to over 5,000 acts of kindness. And that is just from your own actions. If everyone who reads or shares this blog, that could mean …………… over 10,000. Okay, it could mean multiple thousand acts of kindness in just 1 month.

As the title suggests 1 to 5 to 10 and so on. I am a passionate believe that together we can be amazing. We need to be strong, resolute, and committed to making this planet better. But, this must, absolutely must, be together. In my humble opinion.

And, so, to close. Thank you for spending some time will me. I hope these words resonate with you. I wish you a happy and healthy rest of the day and beyond. If you need a hand, please let me know.
Jon