The importance of being honest

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A view from the ground – ❤ 2 …………….. be #honest (with myself)

“Acceptance of one’s life has nothing to do with resignation; it does not mean running away from a struggle. On the contrary, it means accepting it as it comes, with all the handicaps of heredity, of suffering, of psychological complexes and injustices” – Paul Tournier

Wow! A bit of a heavy quote to open the latest ground based view at how #TeamDuke are progressing in 2017. As I’ve said before, these blogs are intended to celebrate our learnings with the hope that it helps you along the way. Hopefully, we can have some fun at the same time.

As those who have checked out the #TeamDuke and ❤2 ………….. be loved blogs, I’ve kind of talked a bit about …………. love! I guess my, almost, obsession with the subject has been borne out of the realisation that receiving and giving love has been a significant part of the #TeamDuke world following the change to our lives mid- 2016.

Over the last few years, I have been on a personal journey (I don’t like using that word as it sounds like 20th century management speak, but I can’t think of anything better at the moment. Has anyone noticed that one of the latest expressions in ‘super’? Super great; super lovely; super shut up!!!!).

I realised a few years ago that I’d got wrapped up too much in negative thinking. Envy, frustration, anger and half empty thinking were the order of the day. Those who know me, know I started on this journey with my, then, wife and I contributed to her book, These Wings Can Fly (still available through me. If you want to buy a copy, let me know. I intend to donate all money raised to a local charity supporting homeless people). It’s a great read, and from that book a View From The Ground was born. Since then, we have gone in our separate directions.

However, the journey we started has helped me to fully understand that retaining a positive outlook is critical not only for ones own development and health, but it, from a personal perspective, it has given the drive, desire, passion, to reach out (more management speak) and help as many people as possible. As I’ve discussed in a previous blog, 1 5 10, if one person can help one person, and that person helps someone else as a result, the multiplier effect is incredible.

Clearly, the events of last year challenged the ability to remain positive, but by receiving love, the positivity actually grew and has allowed me / us to give love.

But, and here I am again with my big butt (sic), what happens if you wake up not feeling positive. You wake up feeling sad, angry, lonely, or some other not positive emotion.

Do you pretend it’s not happening? Do you hide from it? Do you think f**k it, I knew this positive thinking was a waste of time? Do you even think, what’s the point, it would be easier for everyone else if I wasn’t here?

Now, as with all of my blogs, these words are how I deal with things. I am not qualified, I am not claiming to be a professional advisor (I’d love to be!!!!) but I write with a passion and a desire to try and help others. Hell, if I thought I could just inspire 1 person to feel there is true hope, I would feel like a king (rather than a Duke).

So, what happens when those not so positive emotions sweep in? For me, it has been a case of learning to stare the emotion in the face – like looking in the mirror – and acknowledging how I feel. I know that sounds obvious but I was quite that grave. The old me may have slid into denial and to hide from the emotion.
However, the braver thing to do is to deal with that emotion. It’s not wrong to feel sad, angry, lonely or whatever. We are after all only human. However, that is not to say that there are some who manage to walk through life in a permanent state of positivity. I admire them. As I admire my cat whose only thoughts revolve around food, warmth, love, and her sh!t box being cleaned.

But, actually being honest with yourself is also liberating – I have found. Accepting that not every day is going to feel awesome. It is awesome, of course, because we have as much, if not more, to be grateful for as we did in the previous day. But, and again it’s a but (not bottom), we have allowed something to occupy our mind that has triggered a not so positive feeling / emotion.

The magic is recognising it, understanding the cause, and then working on a way to plan out what can you do to deal with it. The damage can be if you hide from negative emotion. Again, I have found, through personal mistakes (another word I don’t like), that by hiding from those not positive thoughts and emotions I built a multi-layer of negativity which after a while resulted in me popping like a champagne cork (no rude images please).

At worse, it’s happened twice – the most recent was just short of 2 months again. Not as dramatic as the first, as I recognised the signs and took preventative action. However, only after I went and sought a solution was I told by some of those close to me that they had been concerned.

So, I promise you, when I write as I have above, it is from personal experience – not because I feel I have a level of educational learning that I am seeking to impart.

And, there you have it. My different take on #honesty. I guess I could have called the blog ‘Honesty + Acceptance = Happiness. But I’m not that clever.

To finish – a quote from a man who is that clever – “Happiness can exist only in acceptance” – George Orwell.

Take care; be happy. But, if you wake up not feeling happy, I hope the above words give you hope. As I said, if these blogs help just one person – job done. My dream, to do the same for many thousands. I can only do that with your continued help and support. Please share these blogs and ask people to join the View From The Ground Facebook page, blog site, and Twitter.

Thank you.

 

Jon

👁 ❤ 2 ……………… be positive

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View From The Ground – an individual take on making 2017 bl00dy brilliant!!!

“I’ve had a lot of worries in my life, most of which never happened” – Mark Twain

“There is little difference in people, but that little difference makes a big difference. The little difference is attitude. The big difference is whether it is positive or negative.” – W. Clement Stone

Here we are again. So soon, but already bursting into 2017 and trying to live by that mantra of the last blog, ‘❤ 2 ……………….. Make Things Happen‘, focussing on the present and using this to move forward. Definitely not dwelling on the past.

Welcome back to the grounded view from which to watch everything unfold before us.

In the last blog – ❤ 2 ……………… Make Things Happen (have I already said that? Sorry, I enjoyed writing it) – I mentioned about launching ‘❤ 2……..’ as a regular feature in the View acromegaly The Ground blogs. The idea being to take about things I love, in the hope of spreading positivity and support. Well, I’ve gone for a variation on that theme already – ‘👁 ❤ 2’. Yes, you’ve got it ‘I love to ………..’. A bit goofy, but a nice hook I hope you agree.

Anyway, enough of the waffle and on with the subject in hand. Positivity. Ironic that I choose to look at positivity after one of the hardest years, and right into what many feel is the hardest month of the year. But, it is actually an easy subject to look at. Mainly, because it is a choice. Easy for me to day? Not really but, again, it’s a choice and, to be honest, it’s a daily exercise.

Let me expand (although, from a waistline point of view, any further expansion may require serious action). Those who know me will automatically smirk at the very title of this blog. Perhaps my old persona may have edged towards thinking good things wouldn’t happen; there’s a few clouds in the sky and therefore it’s going rain; it’s Monday so it will be a bad day. Actually, let’s park the discussion about Monday, that’s work in progress. But, I think you get the idea.

So, moving back to the subject in hand – I love to be positive. Don’t we all?

One of the exercises I have practiced recently is to look at: –

1. What makes me happy; and

2. What doesn’t make me happy.

I appreciate that it sounds simple, but by looking at these simple things it has provided the opportunity to then look deeper.

To start with, by thinking about what doesn’t make me happy, I then created a list. I found it quite easy – although I would ask that you don’t take that as an indication that I don’t love to be positive. I do, I do, I do.

But, by making a list of what doesn’t make me happy, it provides some focus. Things such as the following don’t make me happy: –

Dark mornings
Dark nights
Rain
Bad drivers
Rubbish TV
Monday mornings
Rude people
Delays on the train
Strikes
and so on ………………

Hopefully you get the idea. There’s loads more such as world poverty, war, hunger, homelessness, insufficient government spending on the life’s of schooling, hospitals, emergency services etc. But, let’s concentrate on the list.

I’m sure this seems obvious to many people but, by focusing on the list, I can then think about whether I can do anything to effect any of those items listed. Quite clearly I can’t – it’s as simple as that. So, if I can’t effect them what is the point of letting them make me unhappy.

I am sure, if you’ve got to this part of the blog you’re thinking that time it’s taken you to read the first 600 words of ‘👁 ❤ 2 …………….. be positive’ is time that you will never get back.

However, if just one person benefits from reading this, I feel incredibly happy. It’s all part of that drive for us all to join together, in a very grounded, un-weird, way to support each other and to create a better place for us to exist. A place where we can all live, laugh, and love.

Right, now moving to what makes me happy: –

Family
Friends
My home
Zeekee (our cat)
Where we live
Love
Laughing
Music
Rugby league (a proper sport)
Red wine
A hug
The sun
Lying on a beach
The sea
Indian food
Tea
Coffee
Lying in bed, reading, relaxing, feeling warm
The countryside
Smiling people
Friendly people
Politeness
……………… and I could go on.

Basically, I found, if you really thinking about it, the list of things that make you happy, or could make you happy, is endless. It’s those things that we should express gratitude for on a daily basis.

I know I have written many times about gratitude, but, surely if we are grateful for what we have, that gives us a positive focus.

To celebrate the ‘have’, not mourn the ‘have not’ or, as is more the case, ‘can not’ – in other words, those things we don’t like but can not do anything about.

I know this all seems quite simple, but in my quest to make 2017 bl00dy brilliant, I intend to focus on what makes me happy. Then, I intend to remember to look at those things that don’t make me happy – if I can’t effect them, then stop letting them make me unhappy. If I can effect them, get off my butt, and it is a big butt, and to deal with them.

And, that’s it. I hope you too love to be positive. I’m still learning but in 2017 I’m getting there and 👁 ❤ it!!!!!

Take care, and keep positive. It’s addictive.

Jon

#HappyNewYear aka Here Is The Love

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“I wanted to say thanks… and share my gratitude for everything I’ve been blessed with. Family, friends, and continued support from everyone.” – Travis Barker

What? Another View From The Ground blog? So soon? Indeed. There’s times when words and thoughts come tumbling out, and today is just one of those times.

As we claw our way out of 2016, with a veritable yelp of relief, we have 2017 presented before us. A new year; a new start; a new chance. A new chance or just another chance to make the same mistakes?

Welcome to the closing thoughts from my place on the ground. A place I am proud to share with so many wonderful people.

2016? As I have alluded to in previous blogs, it’s been a tough one for so many people. The Syrian crisis; Yemen crisis; terrorism; Brexit in the U.K. And the millions of pounds wasted on that campaign; the USA presidential campaign and outcome and the millions of dollars wasted on that campaign; the continuing plight of refugees and asylum seekers; increased homelessness; increasing mental health issues, and so on.

On top of that, we all have our own personal challenges. Those challenges can make you feel like you are the only one suffering and that the world is against you. I’m sure we all feel like that during our darker moments. To be honest, I certainly have. But, and I’m back to my big but (note: not butt), the important thing I have found in those times of darkness there has always been someone or something to shine a bright light to sow me how to move forward. And for that I am and will always be grateful.

This year has brought me on a personal level many, many lessons. But the greatest lesson has been that love, real love, conquers all. And that love can be found from so many sources – how ever unexpected some of those sources may be.

In turn, having received so much love, I now feel compelled to share that love and to offer that helping hand in 2017 that I have had offered in abundance this year.

Adversity has brought reflection. Reflection on the past person I was – when looking in the mirror, who was I – and that then brings the question, who do I want to be?

I guess this is a useful exercise for us all. Looking in the mirror, what do we see and, more importantly, who do w want to see.

I have previously quoted Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson. I make no apology for sub quoting some of the lyrics again : –

“I’m Gonna Make A Change, For Once In My Life. It’s Gonna Feel Real Good, Gonna Make A Difference. Gonna Make It Right . . .

As I, Turn Up The Collar On My Favourite Winter Coat. This Wind Is Blowin’ My Mind. I See The Kids In The Street, With Not Enough To Eat. Who Am I, To Be Blind?
Pretending Not To See Their Needs.”

“I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror. I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways. And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer. If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change”

“Got To Make That Change, Today!”

I hope that makes sense. It’s just a few of the lyrics from the song but they are so appropriate from a personal perspective. The love that I + Ben and Liv have received has been beyond anything I released was possible. So, when looking in that mirror, rather than seeing a ‘poor me’ I now know I am seeing a man so wealthy (I was going to say rich, but that’s not a word I like!), that my ‘love’ glass is truly overflowing.

On that basis, I see 2017 as the opportunity to make that change. How many others, on true reflection, can make that change and hold out our hands and offer others at the start of 2017 love and support.

If, when we look in the mirror, we feel that love is there, then we have learned hat responsibility to help others.

My personal view from the ground is that I know know there is so much more that I can offer, and I hope you dear reader feel the same. I would truly love to hear from you – how can you help? Do you need help? My email address is jonlduke@icloud.com. I’m happy to help.

So, to close the last blog of 2017, I will close with a quote.

“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thank you for being with my throughout a surreal year. Thank you to all if those who have provided love and support.

Love Jon

1 5 10

Posted on by View from the ground

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“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
― Charles Dickens

Wonderful words from one of history’s greatest writers. Welcome to my latest view from the ground.

I don’t know about you but, what a month November has been. The USA elect a new President. I’ll say no more on that subject. The population has spoken and time will tell. A bit like in the UK where the electorate have chosen to leave the European Union. Time will tell. In South Korea there are protests against the President. Time will tell how that develops. What a wonderful world. That’s not a negative observation. Just my personal reflection on current affairs. I’m certainly not being judgemental. Perish the thought!

However, I find it interesting when people say you’re being judgemental. So, I thought I’d have a look at the definition, and I found “Judgmental is a negative word to describe someone who often rushes to judgment without reason. The adjective judgmental describes someone who forms lots of opinions — usually harsh or critical ones — about lots of people. Judgmental types are not open-minded or easygoing.”

Here’s a question though – if someone accuses you of being judgemental and are therefore suggesting the that you not being open-minded, are they in turn being judgemental? Are they in fact not being open-minded in not accepting your right of expression? Please think about it.

I also hear / over hear the expression ‘unconditional love’. It seems like a buzz expression in certain circles. A bit like ‘blue sky thinking’ in the 90s. What is ‘unconditional love’?. Some will come up with wonderful words in support of such thinking. But they are just their opinions. So, in fact, by challenging this question are they being judgemental. Or, am I being judgemental by questioning ‘unconditional love’? Surely to love unconditionally is to love without condition. Not, on the condition that you agree with the other persons interpretation of unconditional love.

Alternatively, am I just trying to say we all have different interpretations of many things, so please don’t judge me. If we can agree on that, I love you. Unconditionally? Yes – on the condition that you agree with my judgement.

Anyway, moving on. It’s been a while still that last blog. I’ve reposted some previous blogs, as I felt their messages were important. Having read the opening of this blog, you must be wondering why you were lured to read this one. Sorry, those who have been with me for some time will know I like to wander off in different directions.

This brings me onto the title for this blog – ‘1 5 10’. I’ve been thinking – a lot – about what we as the masses can do to take hold of the negative changes in the world and start making positive inroads – a step at a time. Changes that we can make from our grounded position. Changes in our thinking. I’m not coming at this from a preachy, let’s heal the world sort of way. I’ll leave that to those handing out leaflets to commuters on the busy streets, or those who go on personal crusades, fuelled by ego.

No, I’m coming at this from the perspective of looking to our right or our left and seeing if the person right next to us is struggling and needed a hand or a few kind words. I’m talking about being there, in the moment, and being available to help our fellow human beings.

I still think of the Dalai Lama quote – If every 8 year old in the world is taught to meditate, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation”.
What difference could we make to the community / the world by starting with a 1 percent shift in how we think; how we behave; how we treat each other? Clearly, teaching 8 year olds to meditate is next generational stuff, but why can’t schools do this? Think about it.

But, until then we all have a magnificent chance to make a difference. If tomorrow, you smiled at everyone you see. Accepting that there will be a small group of people who will think you are weird (definition – very strange and unusual, unexpected, or not natural), but the majority of people will walk away feeling a little bit happier. They in turn may then smile at people they see and, within minutes your act of happiness spreads throughout your community. That one act by you may cause a one percent shift in your community.

Now, those who know me will question when I last smiled at someone randomly. Well sceptics- a) stop judging me and give me unconditional love, because b) it was yesterday. Was she attractive? Well, okay, yes. Did I get her phone number? No! It was a random act because she looked down (and I don’t mean to avoid me looking at her). And, yes, she smiled in return. So, hopefully she felt a little better.

Joking apart, it’s all about taking progressive steps – start at a one percent shift, move to five percent (accepting that is a 500% increase in effort), and then step up to a ten percent short (and that is only a 200% increase).

It might sound fanciful – but think, in the next week you committed to just 2 acts of kindness a day – that could effect 14 people. If, through feeling good about your example, they then carried out 1 act of kindness a day the following week – that would be another 98 + your next 14 = 112 in week 2.

By the end of month 1 that could multiply to over 5,000 acts of kindness. And that is just from your own actions. If everyone who reads or shares this blog, that could mean …………… over 10,000. Okay, it could mean multiple thousand acts of kindness in just 1 month.

As the title suggests 1 to 5 to 10 and so on. I am a passionate believe that together we can be amazing. We need to be strong, resolute, and committed to making this planet better. But, this must, absolutely must, be together. In my humble opinion.

And, so, to close. Thank you for spending some time will me. I hope these words resonate with you. I wish you a happy and healthy rest of the day and beyond. If you need a hand, please let me know.
Jon

Depression. My view from the ground

Posted on by View from the ground

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“You are allowed to feel messed up and inside out. It doesn’t mean you’re defective – it just means you’re human.” – David Mitchell

Another day, and I feel blessed that I have woken up. I am healthy and, as I type this sentence, I am fortunate to be lying in a warm house with my cat resting against me. A lucky man indeed.

I try not to publish blogs for the sake of putting words online. I also try not to be personal- other than talking about things in the world that I observe and want to share.

But at the moment, depression is something that worries me. We are know someone who, right now, is gripped my depression. I certainly do and it is my duty to help them through it. I won’t go into the detail of who it involves but it’s personal.

I read a comment from someone who’s view is that depression doesn’t really exist. It’s all in the mind and can be overcome by how we think. All I can say is wow!

Having being diagnosed with depression 12 years ago, had I had that comment made to me then any chance of recovery would have been severely damaged. Dangerous words.

I fully understand and agree that we are all entitled to our opinions. However, given that depression is a medically diagnosed illness I really want to understand the deep impact it has on the person suffering.

It is worrying that many still either don’t believe depression existing or that there are others that see it as a weakness. Yet, of later more and more celebrities and sports stars are stepping forward and revealing their suffering.

There are a lot of definitions or explanations around depression, so I have selected one that helped my understanding – “An illness that involves the body, mood, and thoughts and that affects the way a person eats, sleeps, feels about himself or herself, and thinks about things. Depression is not the same as a passing blue mood. It is not a sign of personal weakness or a condition that can be wished away. People with depression cannot merely ‘pull themselves together’ and get better. Without treatment, symptoms can last for weeks, months, or years. Appropriate treatment, however, can help most people with depression. The signs and symptoms of depression include loss of interest in activities that were once interesting or enjoyable, including sex; loss of appetite, with weight loss, or overeating, with weight gain; loss of emotional expression (flat affect); a persistently sad, anxious, or empty mood; feelings of hopelessness, pessimism, guilt, worthlessness, or helplessness; social withdrawal; unusual fatigue, low energy level, a feeling of being slowed down; sleep disturbance and insomnia, early-morning awakening or oversleeping; trouble concentrating, remembering, or making decisions; unusual restlessness or irritability; persistent physical problems such as headaches, digestive disorders, or chronic pain that do not respond to treatment, and thoughts of death or suicide or suicide attempts.”

Sorry if that is a long explanation but I think it captures a lot around what is a growing issue.

As I said above, I was diagnosed with depression 12 years ago. Before going to my doctor, I couldn’t work out what was wrong with me. Looking at the above, I can remember constant sadness and anxiety. But also anger and frustration. But perhaps the latter feelings were because I couldn’t work out what was wrong. I felt weak because I wasn’t coping with what I perceived was how life should be. However, one day, enough was enough, I went to the doctor, broke down and was diagnosed accordingly.

After that, I went through several months of coming to terms I was ill – yes, ill. My nearest and dearest at the time helped me to understand that my condition was an illness – not a weakness. I was convinced by her that the prescribed medication was essential to help me on my road to recovery. It was good advice and my chemical imbalance was balanced and eventually I could stop taking the medication. But, in reality, the depression never goes away. Like any deep seated illness, it remains. I’m just aware that it is there.

However, having had the illness helps me to understand that it is just that – an illness. So, why do some believe it is just a state of mind, and can be overcome through positive thinking? There is no doubt positive thinking can help you during your recovery. But, when depression takes hold, my belief is that you need professional help and, if prescribed through that professional help, medication to support the process of combating the illness.

I appreciate that there are the conspiracy theorists who believe that medication being prescribed is just filling the bank accounts of the pharmaceutical industry chiefs. That the media focus on depression being at epidemic levels, which sends us running to the nearest chemist for our medication. Why? Because they are all interlinked. Hell, I nearly bought into this. But, then, when i turned off the noise from the conspiracy theorists, I remembered ………. I was diagnosed with depression. It was diagnosed by a medical expert. I took medication to help fix my illness, and I’m glad I listened to the advice!

So, what’s the message? If you suffer from depression, please don’t hide. Please don’t be ashamed. Please don’t listen to the people who dare to suggest it’s all in your head. Please take about it. Please understand that you are not on your own. Please see that there is help. Please know that you can overcome it. Please keep the faith. Please. Xxx

To close, I’ve just heard “Love My Life” by Robbie Williams. Here’s the lyrics. I hope you can see why I thought they were appropriate.

“Tell your soul to me
I will never let go completely
One day our hands will be
Strong enough to hold me

I might not be there for all your battles
But you’ll win them eventually
I’ll pray that I’m giving you all that matters
So one day you’ll say to me

I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life

I am not my mistakes
And God knows I’ve made a few
I started to question the angels
And the answer they gave was you

I can not promise there won’t be sadness
I wish I could take it from you
But you’ll find the courage to face the madness
And see it because it’s true

I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life

Find the
Others
With hearts
Like yours
Run far
Run free
I’m with you

I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life
I am powerful
I am beautiful
I am free
I love my life
I am wonderful
I am magical
I am me
I love my life

And finally
I’m where I wanna be”
Take care.

 

 

Jon

A view from the ground

Posted on by View from the ground

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“There is a lot that happens around the world we cannot control. We cannot stop earthquakes, we cannot prevent droughts, and we cannot prevent all conflict, but when we know where the hungry, the homeless and the sick exist, then we can help.” – Jan Schakowsky.

Welcome to my latest view from the ground. Except, I’m not on the ground. I’m not in the clouds either. Thank goodness for that. I wouldn’t have a true, meaningful and honest view of things if I was floating around up there. However, I’m not on the ground.

This blog has been inspired by my awesome son, Ben, and a recent conversation that we had. I’m blessed, I have 2 incredible children (well, they’re adults now). They are both committed to making a difference to the world. But they will do it their way, without any influence from me or others. That’s awesome as it’s from their heart and is not being done to impress or for some perceived approval.

It’s the younger generation who can, and will, make a difference. It’s the younger generation who are gathering a true voice in their plight to right the wrongs of what my and previous generations have done. They will rise against greed, injustice, prejudice and inequality. We have to allow them to do this! It is their world now.

As those who have read previous blogs will know, I am deeply concerned by the increasing levels of homelessness. There are more empty houses than there are people sleeping on the streets and yet the governments are incapable of dealing with this injustice. There are thousands of empty church and community halls at night, yet people still have to sleep on the streets – in the increasing wet and cold conditions.

Thousands of supermarkets, shops, restaurants, cafes, houses etc still throw out unwanted food. Yet there are more and more people going hungry. Now, this is where I take my hat off to those establishments who do try and make a difference and who do provide their unwanted food to the needy.

So, when Ben and I had our conversation, it got be thinking about all of the above and a little bit more. Ben was telling me about a homeless person he met in Leeds and who he stopped, spoke to, and offered to buy him some food. As you would expect., the chap gratefully accepted the offered. So, off trotted Ben and gave him double what was suggested and some change he had in his pocket. After shaking hands Ben disappeared, thinking nothing more than being grateful he could do this and pleasure in seeing the chap digging into the food.

But this all got me thinking about the view from the ground. How many of us seeing someone in a busy city centre, seated on the ground who is clearly homeless. We might throw a few coins into a box or even go grab the person a meal deal from the local shop but then drop it at the feet of the person before hurrying off to our busy day, or meal with a friend.

However, do we ever think, from a humanistic point of view what the world looks like from the ground. Through the eyes of the person huddled up on a blanket, on the ground. Do we ever think to speak to them at the same, grounded, level? This is why, when Ben told me about shaking hands with the chap he met, it made me quite emotional. In such a small act, Ben had made a big difference. He created in connection based on both being equal. Not looking down, but being the same.

We are the same for f**ks sake. And that is the point. I am sick and tired of reading about wealth and importance. About the billions of pounds that are just going to waste. About inequality and all that is bad in the world. There is a lot – regardless of what some may think – that we as individuals can not effect. Even in gathering as a relatively small group, we won’t effect things. But now, right now, we as individuals CAN make a difference and that is, to start with, help those on the streets that need help; speak to them on an equal level – sit on the bloody ground – they are!; and then created pressure on the authorities, the churches, the community, the government – whatever – to provide a roof, some warmth, some food and drink, and some where to clean. It is not difficult!

We are all the same. We should never look down on any human being and no human being should feel that they have to look up to anyone. We all have a story. I’m lucky, I write my blogs and I’m – still – doing the book(s). There’s a story in everyone. Perhaps, the next time you stop to, very kindly, give some food to someone on the street, ask them their story. It will open your eyes, I’m sure.

Bless you for joining me with this blog. I’m not going to end with a song. I think it’s more appropriate to just think about our view but, more importantly, what it looks like from the ground.

Love
Jon

 

I don’t like you

Posted on by View from the ground

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“It is remarkable by how much a pinch of malice enhances the penetrating power of an idea or an opinion. Our ears, it seems, are wonderfully attuned to sneers and evil reports about our fellow men.” – Eric Hoffer.

Hello and welcome. Join me here on my seat, as I take another view from the ground. And what a strange view it is at the moment. Really, I hear you ask. Thank you for asking. Let me explain. Are you sitting comfortably? Then, let me begin.

I’m never going to use my blogs to express any form of political opinion. Everyone is entitled to an opinion and I am not arrogant enough to try and impose my views in this forum.

However, politics is a key aspect of world news at the moment and the biggest show at the moment seems to be the USA presidential campaign.

I was intrigued last week to watch the TV debate Trump and Clinton. I’d be lying if I said I watched it in full. I have a life! But, intriguing the debate was. “Oh what a circus, oh what a show” – as the song goes. But those words, to me, ring true.

My hope that there would be some true sparring on really political points of interest were some extinguished. The show, the circus, all seemed to pivot around the importance of attacking your opponent rather than talking about what you are going to do to improve things.

In the U.K., we recently saw a similar situation when the Labour Party had a leadership campaign. It got to the point where they might as well have appeared in clown outfits on their TV debates. It was school yard insult throwing. What about the homeless? What about the unemployed? What about, what about, what about?

But watching Trump Vs Clinton just left me cold. Personal insult after personal insult. One of them will very soon be the chief of the most powerful nation in the world. Please note, I did not say in charge of the most powerful nation, as we all know that the money men are in charge. The president is a figurehead. Although, that said, it could be argued that one of the Presidential contestants is also a money man. But let’s not go there.

This all got me thinking and, as those who read my blogs will know, it is dangerous when I think. But, how many times do we hear debates and hear of situations where the focus is on negative observation – they might as well say ‘I don’t like you’ – rather than about what positive action can be taken.

And, there is the problem – in my humble opinion – leadership appears to revolve around criticism of your opposition rather than an ability to say ‘this is what I am going to do, this is the added value I am going to bring’.

I know I have quoted the song ‘Where is the love’ before, but the opening lines just keep coming to mind – “What’s wrong with the world, mama. People livin’ like they ain’t got no mamas. I think the whole world addicted to the drama. Only attracted to things that’ll bring you trauma”.

The focus from the top is negativism. That filters through and all of a sudden we are all at it – as it were. A collective I DON’T LIKE YOU. Absolute nonsense, if you don’t mind me saying.

In my last blog, Meditation Mayhem, I talked about ………. meditation. Imagine if the whole world meditated or practised mindfulness. Just think, what a beautiful world it would be. That said, and I don’t want to make any assumptions or pass any judgment (perish the thought), I am struggling to picture one of the USA presidential candidates zoning out in a beautiful state of meditative bliss. But, it is an amusing image.

I just wish we could all get into that space where we can concentrate on what difference we can make, rather than what is wrong. Picture the scene – your favourite, all singing all dancing, political leader standing up and stating what difference they are going to make rather than accusing their predecessors of all ills in the country, the world, Jupiter etc.

Move that down into what ever industry, working environment, you operate in. How many times do business leaders focus on what their competitors are doing, rather than saying what they are going to do.

You could almost then take that into any life situation. Let’s use the example of trying to attract a life partner (chat someone up). Do we spend too mischief energy focusing on what is wrong with someone we see as a competitor rather than saying how we can make the person we are trying to attract happy.

Just a thought. Rather than saying ‘I don’t like you’, just focus on ‘this is me, and this is what o can do to make your life / this company / this country / the world’ a whole lot better. And, if there is a competitor, let’s show some respect. Should we say ‘I like you’? I’ll let you decide.

I’d like to close with a few words from The Beatles: –

“There’s nothing you can do that can’t be done
Nothing you can sing that can’t be sung
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It’s easy

Nothing you can make that can’t be made
No one you can save that can’t be saved
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time
It’s easy

All you need is love”

Beautiful words, and a beautiful sentiment. Let’s try it. Oh, and by the way, I do like you.

Take care.
Jon

Meditation mayhem

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“Meditation is all about the pursuit of nothingness. It’s like the ultimate rest. It’s better than the best sleep you’ve ever had. It’s a quieting of the mind. It sharpens everything, especially your appreciation of your surroundings. It keeps life fresh.” – Hugh Jackman

Well, come to my view from the ground. See that play on words? Don’t you just love the English language! Anyway, welcome to, well, come on in to my little place on this wonderful planet.

It’s been a few months now since the stand alone View From The Ground blog site was launched. I would like to thank everyone for joining me on my path through the chaos better known as life. I would be truly delighted if you could recommend the site to people who you know that might enjoy reading my rambling but heart felt words.

Anyway, onwards and word wards. Strange expression ‘words wards’. I don’t know if it is an expression but, given there should be no rules when creating words, I chose to designate it as an expression from this day on. In fact, I hereby crash a bottle of champagne against the expression ‘words wards’ and wish it well as it sets sail through this blog and onwards into the ocean of words.

Sorry, I’m rambling. So, meditation and mayhem – 2 words which you would not expect alongside each other. Let’s look at the definition of both before I expand on what is going through my mind as I form this blog.

Meditation is a nice easy definition – “the act of giving your attention to only one thing, either as a religious activity or as a way of becoming calm and relaxed”.

Mayhem becomes more interesting – “a situation in which there is little or no order or control”. To be fair, there were many definitions but this one feels quite ‘calm’ when compared to some.

Okay – the big question is, how am I going to link ‘calm and relaxed ‘ with ‘no order or control’? It’s a good question and, by the end of the blog, I hope I find the answer.

Meditation is still a great mystery to many and, as a result, there is a misconception that those who meditate are either hippies or weirdos. Wrong! I suspect may who read this blog so, to an extent, I am preaching to the converted.

However, I am looking to this blog as a request to all to spread the word. I remain worried / concerned at the state of the world. As a resident of the U.K. I am seriously worried. The number of people suffering from stress and depression continues to rise. And this rise is not confined to one age group – it’s right across all ages and all parts of society. So I am worried.

However, meditation undoubtedly offers a route to look for inner peace and relaxation and if more people just gave it a go, imagine the possibilities.

Anyone who has read the View From The Ground blogs since the started over 2 years ago will know that I been interested in the power of meditation for some time. Before I gave it a go though I was one of those who thought it was a practice confined to hippy tree huggers, who sat on the ground, crossed legs, chanted ‘omm omm omm’ – or a sound similar to that.

For 2 years I have meditated – not prescriptively but in a way when I need to ‘rest’ my mind and just zone, meditate is the answer. And this is the challenge that those of us who understand the power of meditation must take up. To talk to others who may be struggling with life – be it at work or in their personal life, and just advise on how meditation may help them.

But, then, their us the challenge someone may ask – ‘how do I meditate’. This is where the mayhem can creep in because, as we know, there are so many different methods of achieving a meditative state. And if you listen to everyone, it can feel like there’s no order and you’re out of control.
I found that you can look too deeply into the different ways to meditate – guided, to music, in silence, as a group, and so on. But, I believe, once we have opened up someone’s mind to the idea of meditation it is then you them to decide what form of meditation works best for them.

Nobody could or should tell you what is the best method and we should think about how we landed at the way we meditate. My preference? Guided meditation works for me. It helps maintain that focus on achieving the right state as it were. But, that might not be for everyone.

What we should do, though, is avoid creating that meditation mayhem. Let us guide those who might be helped by it to the power of meditation. But once they want to go for it, let them find what works best for them.

Am I making sense? I thought not. I think I need to meditate – omm, omm, omm.

I hope you enjoyed my last ramblings. I’ll finish with a quote and a song. I sound like a 70’s entertainment show.

The quote – “Consider how hard it is to change oneself and you will understand why it is so hard to change others.” One to think about and may be the subject of a future blog.

And, the song. It’s just one that has meaning and I hope you’ll look up the video on You Tube.

“One day it’s here and then it’s gone
How are you still holding on?
How are you still holding on?
You’ve felt this way for far too long
Waiting for a change to come
You know you’re not the only one
And life passes you by
Don’t be wasting your time
On your own
You always try to see yourself
Through the eyes of someone else
Through the eyes of someone else
Too shy to say that you need help
You and everybody else
You and everybody else
Oh, life passes you by
Don’t waste your time
On your own
Yeah life passes you by
Don’t be wasting your time
All alone
As your heart gets bigger
And you try to figure out
What’s it all about
And your skin gets thicker
As you try to figure out
What’s it all about
Yeah life passes you by
Don’t waste your time
On your own
One day it’s here and then it’s gone
How are you still holding on?
How are you still holding on?”

One Day – Kodaline

I’ll leave that with you. Enjoy life and live and love the day, because you never know what is round the corner. And if you’re feeling the pressure, meditation is a solution but watch out for the mayhem.

Until the next time.
Jon

 

True

Posted on by View from the ground

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Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world…would do this, it would change the earth.”
― William Faulkner

As ever, welcome to my view from the ground. A few weeks have passed since the last blog, and during that time I have sought to concentrate on living in the moment, enjoying every day, and focussing on what is good. Sometimes it’s not so easy to see the good when your view gets blurred by some not so good stuff but it’s important to keep that focus. I hope we all have that special something to focus on.

I have recently been reposting previous blogs, mainly in the hope of reaching out to people and to, hopefully, help like minded people realise they are not on their own.

I hope the last few weeks have been great for you and that, somewhere along the way, you have been able to help someone else achieve the same.

It’s been a bit of a summer here on the ground and the view has certainly been challenging. But clarity is slowly being restored. I was interested last week to receive a tweet about a new blog site – www.danielle29coffey.com. I hope Danielle doesn’t mind but I want to share a few words from her home page – “We are forever growing, forever learning and forever seeking. This is what it is to be human. I truly believe if we allow ourselves to be present and open on our own journeys we will enjoy the time we spend on them much more”.

I found these words inspiring. I would strongly recommend visiting Danielle’s blog site. Her story is very moving and there are aspects that I can relate to. The key message though is to be positive and focus on getting the most out of life, even in the face of adversity. I know this much is true.

Why do I find it hard to write the next line? Well, in reality there is such to say, it’s more a case of where to start. But, ultimately, I have been focussing on standing in my truth – a previous subject – but I’m coming at it from a different angle. Circumstances have dictated a stronger focus has been needed on standing true and having a firm vision of positivity. But, that said, there’s also being a massive realisation of just what love there is out there. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful family and friends.

But, and it’s a big but (not posterior references please), I know so many people are going through truly difficult times and not everyone has the good fortune to have family and friends to take their hand and pull them up.

So, this is the thrust of the blog because we are all there to be available to those who need hat help. I accept not everyone speaks up when they are down. But there are so, so many people who are suffering in silence. However, that silence is only verbal silence. Think about people you know or people you seen regularly where you see a chance in behaviour or a change in body language or a change in just physical appearance.

How many times do we just not see this because we’re not looking? How many of these people just want one person to say ‘hey, how are you?’? But when we ask this question, to mean it and to wait for the answer. And when we get the answer, to listen. How many times when we ask a question are we thinking about something completely different when to answer is being delivered?

Just imagine how that feels to that person who is feeling down and actually just wants to open up, maybe to cry, and realise their story? That moment could be a life changing moment – be that good or bad. Good, because it could be a starting point for them to move forward. Bad, because they might walk away wondering what the point is. Just think about it. True?

So, I guess, my request is that we all take a step back. Those of us who are lucky enough to have awesome family and friends need to recognise our blessings but also be awake to the fact that many others aren’t that fortunate.

We all have a duty to support all others in need. We need to look, listen, really listen, and hold out a hand to anyone who needs help. We should step away from our own needs and acknowledge the needs of others, at that exact moment, might be greater. We need to be true to ourselves and be there – always for our fellow man or woman. Do you think you can do that?

I’m going to close with a song I’ve used before – Hold My Hand by Hootie And The Blowfish. Rather than quote the lyrics, I’ve included a link to the song. I think it’s awesome, I hope you do.

Take care, and please look out for that person who needs your help. You never know, it might be me. If it is, please hold my hand. If I see you and you need that hand, I promise you I will be there for you. True!

I always say drop me an email and I mean it – jonlduke@icloud.com. I’m also all over Facebook and have the View From The Ground Facebook and Twitter sites.
Jon

From the heart

Posted on by View from the ground

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I would like to share a blog that I posted earlier in the year when View From The Ground was published on a separate blog site. I have been in a reflective mood of Kate and this blog means a lot to me. I hope you enjoy it.

From the heart

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” – Albert Einstein

A quote I love, and something I feel we could all learn from.

I always write from the heart and my hope / desire / mission is to reach out to as many people as possible. As I’ve already talked about in earlier blogs, I am exploring self love and self belief this year and I would love as many people as possible to join me on this mission.

Part of this work though is looking at where I feel we as a collective need to focus effort to help as many as we can. The last blog followed an article I saw about how too many young people are being prescribed anti-depressants. It could be argued that too many people are being prescribed them – full stop! Who benefits? Clearly, the medication numbs the depression of the person. This isn’t an ill informed comment. Having being prescribed anti-depressants 12 years ago, I am fully aware of their effects, have used them for a period of time. I talk about this in more detail in the book, View From The Ground, which continues to take shape.

But, who else benefits? The global pharmaceutical industry of course. I’ll avoid going off on a rant, on this occasion at least.

Of course, there are alternative solutions. But where will the money come from the implement a fully effect, alternative solution? Will a government be brave enough? I’ll let you decide.

Anyway, I’ve been reading, again. I saw an article advising that there have been calls for mindfulness training to be introduced in schools in the UK. In October, a Mindfulness All-Party Parliamentary Group said the practice should be made more widely available and recommended the Department for Education designate three schools to “pioneer mindfulness teaching and disseminate best practice”. Only three? Surely this rather important initiative warrants being ‘pioneered’ in a broader range of schools – a selection of schools spanning the whole of the U.K., and a selection of schools spanning the different socio economic groups + ensuring that it touches the incredible range of our diverse cultures.

Political author and former head of Wellington College Anthony Seldon has called for daily “stillness sessions” in schools.

I’m not sure the name,”stillness sessions” will necessarily grab the attention of the desired audience, but in theory this could be awesome.

The Dalai Lama was absolutely right when he said “If every 8 year old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence from the world within one generation.”

So can mindfulness meditation really help pupils concentrate amid the distractions of 21st Century living?

In my humble opinion, it absolutely could. If delivered correctly, and with appropriate time being given to the programme (or program to our American friends). We are blessed to have in our midst some friends who are already working with young children on such a concept, but if that could be taken into schools and colleges to older students, it could be incredible.

Now, considering the concerns raised in my last blog – as detailed above – if mindfulness was rolled out, and given the attention that it deserves, this could really help young people clear their heads, even if it is just a bit at a time. Just image the effect. In this crazy world that we have created, with 24/7 news blasting people with negativity – war, debt, death, Trump, Cameron, North Korea, bombs, etc – it’s no wonder people are fed up.

In all honesty, mindfulness to the corporate world would be a massive step forwards. I hear, see, read about so many people struggling with the pressures that they face in life (including when I look in the mirror), if businesses allowed time for employees to attend mindfulness sessions, or meditation groups, the results could be amazing. I know some companies already do this, but with a bit of encouragement from the governments, surely this could be launched on a much bigger scale. I would certainly attend!

These, of course, are just my observations but it feels like we could all benefit from a bit of mindfulness. It could be good for the heart, for the age of the heart.

And talking of the heart, I would like to end this short blog with a story from the weekend.

As is my Saturday routine, I undertake the weekly grocery shop at our local supermarket. Being a creature of habit, I always look to see if my favourite person is working the checkout. She is a beautiful soul, so friendly, and always willing to talk and help me to understand about her Sikh religion. I love learning about other cultures and we are blessed in the UK to have such a diverse population.

I was sad to learn that the lady’s sister had recently passed away, but she talked about how she praises and still talks to her sister. She also told be that her sister had left her the words for several songs, that she now sings so that she feels that her sister is with her.

At that point, whilst helping to pack my bags, she started to sing to me – holding regular eye contact, and it was as if she was in another world. That’s when it sunk in, she probably was. In a serene place where her sister’s spirit exists, whilst also being with me, and the hundreds of others in the supermarket. Incredible, beautiful, magically, inspirational. A lesion in love and true belief. A lesson in having unconditional belief that her sister was in her heart.

As I said, I love to learn.

And, so another short blog draws to an end. A slightly different format but, as always, written from the heart. I hope it resonates. In this messed up world, we all need to feel some love. Apologies for any occasional typos. It makes the blogs real. Not editorial support at this stage.

Take care. Keep the faith, and spread the word.
Jon